Red, I am a 'newbie' on this thread. But not to reclaiming my mojo! I hope you feel welcomed and reclaim RED! ((((((GO! GO! RED MOJO!!!!!!))))) How do YOU feel about the weight you have gained? IS it compromising your health? Attempting to reclaim that healthy gal inside is only something you can do for YOU, and only when you are really ready. If this is a path you want to explore, then #1 is see your GP first, they will be a great guide as to how and what changes will reignite your RED MOJO! With pain problems walking can seem like a real chore- have you ever tried water based workouts- aerobics/ swimming? They may help as there is not the pressure and impact. Oh... and on the arm flab thing... don't talk to me about that!! Whaaaaaaaa! : ( Mine are like empty PJ bags, or wings or some such. NO amount of muscle will fix them (well maybe Arnold Swarz size arms... but not sure if that's a good look on a short lady! hee hee hee) As an ex nail biter and picker, I think it is definately a habit. Each time you catch yourself at your nails choose to stop, do something else to occupy your hands- I made a habit of painting nail strengthener each day. While I can grow may nails long (eg if I have an upcoming event) I choose to keep them a practical length-just past the tip of my finger. They annoy me less that length too. I think a great MOJO activation method is a new hairstyle and a set of clothes- you can get off that plane and see your mum feeling good about yourself. There is more to being a great person than what you weigh and how long your nails are. Oh and to your mum- if she comments on your weight, say 'It's amazing how genetics play such a part in your chance for weight gain' and smile sweetly :) Em

If it is just 1-2 times a day, everyday, Or 1-2 times a week? If it is a power war DON'T PLAY. Tell her before you do what ever it is you decide to do, but when you decide be consistant! If she is just not going to the bathroom and wets during play then no choice! She gets up NOW and changes and may lose time, not forever just for now or today, with what ever she is doing. After all it made it so she did not make it to the bathroom. Be carefull not to be confrontational, just very matter of fact type voice, about it. Unless there is some physical thing going on she will quickly figure out staying dry means more time with what ever it is she is doing. Tell her when she is dry and really working hard at something that as long as she is dry you don't have to interupt her to change. Praise a lot! Set a timer when you know it is a time that she usually has her accidents. Maybe work out a regular schdule. Like before going outside and before she plays with (what ever) she is to try. Tell her when the timer goes off she is to go to the bathroom and try, until then she is done with her game work or? when she comes back she can return to her game work or? Give her a goal to reach so that you don't have to do these new rules forever, like 2 weeks dry or something along those lines. I would never say these hard rules to a 3 yr old, but she is almost 5 and is able to use the bathroom other times and if it is a power struggle these put the control squarly on her shoulders. Because You won't argue or change these rules until she does. It sounds harsh, and thats not the tone I am saying for you to take. That is why I said to have a plan and let her know that this is what is going to happen. Don't argue or anything like that just do the plan and move on. JUST MATTER OF FACT NO SILLIES TYPE VOICE. Just like 'ya have to wear a coat outside when it is freezing' type thing. Or 'no it is 95 outside you can not wear your snow suit to the swimming pool.'

LOL, we got a letter today from our attorney (a copy of the letter she sent BM's attorney) reminding him that the court said BM had to pay the whole thing. Considering BM's voice message to DH: "Call me as soon as you get my message. I just got off the phone with Dr. XX and they gave me a figure.. and um, it's just not gonna happen cuz neither you nor I can come up with that amount... so I have a call into my lawyer and um, I don't know what we're gonna do.. but I just wanted to give you the figure.. so give me a shout." Honestly, I think she lives in her own realm... disconnected from reality. She was in court when the Judge agreed that since she owed DH, she would pay all of it. And our attorney said the evaluation would cost around $5,000. So why is it a surprise to her? Why would she say "neither you nor I can come up with" or "I don't know what WE'RE gonna do" like it's THEIR joint problem... It's HER problem. He'd rather get the back support from her and leave things the way they are than have the back support used up for an evaluation to change everything. But, that's the nut job we have to deal with!

When my son was a teen and very much in to skateboarding he wanted skin tight jeans because baggy, saggy pants were not conducive to competitive skating. Back then (early 2000's) mens skinny jeans did not exist so he would buy girls jeans. He's also a bean pole-tall and hipless. No one ever considered he was wearing girls pants-so I doubt juniors athletic pants in black or blue would be noticed by anyone on a boy.