Pat needs to take an assertiveness training class! Does she pay for half of the utilities? If so, tell her to wash her clothes in whatever temp. she wants! Also, the landlord is breaking the law by entering Pat's apartment without at least a 24 hour notice. (At least in CA). As for the food, she needs to straighten her spine and simply say, "Thank you, but NO thank you." The landlord sounds like a bored, old lady who simply has too much time on her hands, but unless Pat speaks up nothing will change.

Are you sure that lady doesnt have a twin over here in Brooklyn, lol.
Tell Pat to move. Really, a bigger apt unit is better.
Anytime there is a little apt in a big house you have to deal with this kind of stuff. The lady is probably bored and has nothing to do but pick things apt. Telling someone what temp to wash clothes in is ridiculous. I think I would have had to laugh at that.
But, living like that is not good, your friend should not have to endure complaints everyday. Oh, can I tell you stories about bored old women.......but my problem has passed away a few years ago.......

She will have to be assertive but not mean, you dont wanna cause hard feelings. But start saving and get out.

Thanks for the encouragement. Pat vents to me,and I vented to you. I told her she has plenty of good reasons. For two more reasons, the rent is high and it's 45 minutes away from her job. A new place closer to work is what she needs! By the way, a funny thing. When she was moving in, the lady yelled at the moving men. One of them later said to Pat "I can see we'll be back in a few months when you move out." Ha Ha.

that should have been her first clue when the LL yelled at the movers.
I wish her luck if finding a better place to live.