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overly concerned about noise.

Posted by cassonater (My Page) on
Tue, Nov 29, 05 at 19:52

Hello all, I was hoping to get some support. I moved In an upstairs apartment a while ago. I'm used to living In a downstairs apartment mainly because I didn't want to be the one making noise from above. Well now I do live upstairs and I'm constantly concerned about making too much noise while walking about In my Apartment. I've also thought when I get a new Girlfriend and we're having sex Is that going to bother my neihbor downstairs. My downstairs neihbor Is actually way cool. I talked to her recently about my concerns and she comforted me and she said If there was any problem she would tell me. I went up to my Apartment with a sense of relief. But I have reverted back to my worried state of what If's. I just can't seem to completly let go and just be comfortable. Please help.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: overly concerned about noise.

We live in an upstairs apt too and am concerned about noise. At our age, we don't have the same concerns as you (dang!) But I do excersizes in the morning and hope I don't fall through! HA! Guess I would take your downstairs neighbors words to heart. Don't worry, be happy. Dottie, MN.

RE: overly concerned about noise.

You have to trust that if you are bothering your neighbor, she'll let you know. Just use common sense: don't wear heavy shoes at all hours, don't play your TV or stereo too loudly, try not to walk too heavily. In other words, just be considerate. I'm sure it will all work out. It's good that you are so astute about this though; too bad more people aren't like you!

RE: overly concerned about noise.

I know what you mean--that's the hardest part of living in an apartment, for me--worrying about my OWN noise.

I hear my neighbor walking sometimes; when people bust out laughing at her dining room table I hear it.

The thing is, I don't MIND it.

It's all filtered through the fact that I *like* her--or at the very least, I wish her well. There's no enmity, etc.

I know that what she's doing is not rude, inconsiderate, selfish, etc. It's just her life. She walks around, people visit, she watches TV. The guy downstairs practiced his flute.

So, perhaps you'll assuage your worries if you can see that you're keeping a positive relationship w/ your downstairs neighbor. Be friendly always in the hallway, etc. You don't have to be her best friend (best not to, actually), but you can enquire about her health in a general way, offer to pick up dry cleaning if you're going that way, etc.

Then, you'll know that if she hears you, it'll be filtered through her positive regard.

Here's another point: it's ONGOING noise that's a problem. Knock a chair over one time, big bang--well, who can be mad about that? But knock one over three or four times every night, that's more problematic. Or worrying anyway--are you OK up there?

Also, try to look at your worries this way: You aren't giving your neighbor much credit! Have a higher opinion of her than that.

I have little kids, so every now and then, I ask the downstairs neighbor how the noise it, and tell them that I'd want to know if it got bad, since I live w/ them every day and might not realize it's getting more frequent, etc. So if you now and then--like, every six months or so--make a gentle enquiry about the noise in a sane way, then maybe she'll feel she could say something if it really was objectionable.

RE: overly concerned about noise.

I wish the people that lived above us were as worried about making noise and as considerate as you are! ;)

RE: overly concerned about noise.

You are doing everything right. Don't worry. At least you talk to the person below you. I had a person above me who apoligized for making noise everytime she saw me. I never heard her. Because she was so considerate a little noise would not have mattered.
I believe that communication is the key. If she can knock on your door and you can knock on hers you will most likely get along great.
The people above me now are so loud, but if they could acknowledge it I would not be as upset. If I knock on their door at 11pm and say "I don't think your are aware that the sound of jumping and banging carries." I get yelled at.
If the person were to say "I'm sorry, thank you for letting me know" there would be no problem.
you sound like a great neighbour.

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