I hear my neighbor walking sometimes; when people bust out laughing at her dining room table I hear it.

The thing is, I don't MIND it.

It's all filtered through the fact that I *like* her--or at the very least, I wish her well. There's no enmity, etc.

I know that what she's doing is not rude, inconsiderate, selfish, etc. It's just her life. She walks around, people visit, she watches TV. The guy downstairs practiced his flute.

So, perhaps you'll assuage your worries if you can see that you're keeping a positive relationship w/ your downstairs neighbor. Be friendly always in the hallway, etc. You don't have to be her best friend (best not to, actually), but you can enquire about her health in a general way, offer to pick up dry cleaning if you're going that way, etc.

Then, you'll know that if she hears you, it'll be filtered through her positive regard.

Here's another point: it's ONGOING noise that's a problem. Knock a chair over one time, big bang--well, who can be mad about that? But knock one over three or four times every night, that's more problematic. Or worrying anyway--are you OK up there?

Also, try to look at your worries this way: You aren't giving your neighbor much credit! Have a higher opinion of her than that.

I have little kids, so every now and then, I ask the downstairs neighbor how the noise it, and tell them that I'd want to know if it got bad, since I live w/ them every day and might not realize it's getting more frequent, etc. So if you now and then--like, every six months or so--make a gentle enquiry about the noise in a sane way, then maybe she'll feel she could say something if it really was objectionable.