Don't you have anything else to worry about? I'm sorry, but maybe you both should live somewhere very alone, but then you'd probably get bored.

Lucy,

That wasn't nice or fair. As a matter of fact, I have a lot to worry about right now, like an illness and an operation coming up, like a legal problem that I'm scared to death about, like will I make it through the month with my disability income. Should I go on? The point is, this IS a forum, I thought where posts such as mine might receive an opinion or feedback. And, thank you Seneca for recognizing that. If he refuses to even pay part for the earphones should it come to it, I'd rather pay for them in full than have to continue to hassle with this issue. Wouldn't it be funny if I did, and he still came over to complain when you can't hear anything? I don't know. I don't understand why what I posted on a forum would generate such a negative response such as Lucys. Maybe she lives on the bottome floor?
Thank you,, anyway.

I'm sorry, didn't want to offend anyone, though it occurred to me that I might. It's just that the letter is so intense and detailed about the whole thing and it just seemed that the two of you had gotten way more involved in the business than necessary. I can't believe it's so hard for two grown people to come to a compromise on the issue and just live with it. Or maybe I've (purposely) focused on only a few things lately trying to make a bunch of trivia go away so I can get on with life - doing that tends to make you impatient with little things, or see everything as being trivial (when it's obviously not, to the person it's happening to!). I hope your surgery goes well, really, and that you work out the noise issues.

trudijane,
I hope your surgery goes well and that nasty legal problem gets resolved without much more fear ;) lucy's not so bad, either. (Nice apology, lucy ;)

I don't have much more to contribute, only that it does seem that you've gone to great lengths to appease your neighbor/friend. My only concern is that if you come to some kind of suitable compromise, will that be the end of the rather extreme demands and measures taken? I don't mean to be or sound harsh. What I'm pondering is that some people in this world, when they come across someone like yourself who is willing to make major accommodations out of the goodness of their heart, will turn that into a "give me more" situation. It would be sad with all that you're going through to see this go further and your neighbor attempt to make you their doormat. But you would know best if they are that type or not.

Oh, the wireless deal. I would tend to agree it might be glitchy. Wireless can pick up so many goofy signals. My wireless phone goes completely on the fritz when I get near the computer (wireless router) or microwave when it's on. I don't know about headphones, but I could certainly envision you snuggling up to watch a movie, nuking a bag of popcorn and your sound turns to complete static! :D

It sounds to me like you've been MORE than accomodating.

With the growing popularity of flat-screen TVs, I think we're going to see more problems among apartment-dwellers whose neighbors insist on mounting them on the walls. Any time you have a speaker either connected to or even touching part of a structural surface (wall, floor, or ceiling), the sound waves carry into the adjoining dwellings.

This is particularly true in post-war apartment buildings and townhouses that don't have the benefit of the thick sound deadening walls that we in PRE-war buildings enjoy.

But as far as this person's neighbor, anyone who demands absolute church-like silence should be living in a HOUSE, not in an apartment or even a townhouse.

I used this post to drive home a point to my husband I tried to make 2 years ago when we moved in here.................

We waited an additional 4 weeks for this particular apt instead of taking one that was already to go.........a 3bdrm/2bath with garage.

The reason being...........this unit is on the end and on the other side is the model which means NO next door neighbors! haha

Thanks for proving my point to my hubby this morning!

Now on to your issue, I am so sorry you are in such a squabble about this tv noise. It is impossible not to hear people who share adjoining walls, impossible! ( that is why I wanted to wait as we have nobody to hear).......this guy is nuts thinking you should provide him complete quiet yet he can party. And, would I buy earphones to appease this guy, NO way..........you have enough to worry about with all you are dealing with, tell this guy to worry about something that matters!

Best of luck, keep us posted on how you make out.

Actually ... in most prewar buildings, it IS impossible to hear your next-door neighbors (unless, of course, they've connected a sound-making device to your shared wall). Our walls are about 18 inches thick.

You said you've already compromised your decor by moving the speakers, but might you be able to fit in some type of thick fabric wall-hangings (like tapestries or decorative rugs) covering the common wall, to absorb sounds? Also, make sure no part of your tv or speakers are touching that common wall, and are insulated from the floor by carpet pads or some such.

Also, get in the habit of muting the tv when you go upstairs with the t.v. still on. I mute my tv anytime I leave the room, because volume levels are *not* constant! Commercials are commonly much louder, as are certain scenes of action movies.

Other than these suggestions, you've done everything a resonable person could expect. If he still says he can hear your tv, tell him you've done everything you can, and he's just going to have to accept it as part of apartment living. Remind him that you can hear *his* tv and that you've learned to live with "normal" levels. Your obligation as an apartment dweller is to keep noise to a "normal and acceptable" level, you cannot be expected to live without making a single solitary sound that your neighbor can hear.

I work nights and am up on the weekends all night long (usually watching tv).

So I rigged up a speaker that sits behind my head & then muted the tv just so it would only be as loud as I needed it to be just so only I can hear it.

I also moved my tv as far away from the wall that my neighbor & I share.

I have yet to ever get a complaint, but once a week my neighbor just cranks the heck out of a tv or stereo (or something) and I cant help but hear it. I mean that it is insanely loud@!
I have been tempted to just blast mine in response, but I am not confrontational type. Anyway I only have to endure it once a week for two hours or so at most, so it isnt that much of a problem. I suspect it is my neghbor's kids (they are true little hellions!) doing it when she leaves them home alone.

in an apartment,speakers attached to the walls in ANY manner will enable the neighbors to hear them.there's no excuse..flat screen tv's..surround sound..whatever..take them down!!!

i have surround sound but i have the speakers mounted on stands and placed in a way that i can keep my tv volume down to a minimum at night and still hear them okay.
as a person who doesn't like to hear my neighbors late hours of the night,i don't even like the idea of hearing'low conversation'. in the middle of the night/. a resident shouldn't hear a neighbors 'ongoing' noise..period..at all in the middle of the night.(exceptions include a maybe a footstep now and then at the most or a dog bark something like that,but not 'ongoing ' music,or tv,etc).that's why nearly every lease states 'minimum' in regard to noise volume after a certain time of night.that doesn't mean you should hear your neighbors noise at a minimum,that means your neighor shouldn't hear YOUR noise because its supposed to at a minimum so your neighbors can't hear it at all!!.but yet i talk to people all the time who tell me that a resident should expect and tolerate low noise from a neighbor in the middle of the night in an apartment complex.Bull crud,,not after a certain time of night..it can be prevented.

Wymmrh,

Did you notice the last post in this thread is over a year old and that the OP said they DID take the speakers off the walls.
Either way I am sure it has long since been settled one way or another

I think that personally, your neighbor is a baby. If you have to strain to hear the noise of your own t.v. in your own home and he is still complaining, he needs to move somewhere where he doesn't have to share a wall with someone. I live in an apartment and my husband and I always hear neighbors, but we know this is just part of living in an apartment. If he is having wild parties until all hours of the night, and doesn't care about the noise and bothering you, then why not just forget the headphones and watch your t.v. the way you want? Not blaring of course, but enough to where you can comfortably listen. He can't call the cops if it is still in reasonable listening volume and he needs to quit being picky. Maybe this is hateful, but he either needs to pay the FULL price of your headphones (Which you are being way too considerate for him, so it sounds) or he needs to get over it.

I think that with people like your neighbour you really have to put your foot down. You do what you can practically do (not using ear phones) and then you tell them that you have made some changes and that is all you can do. If you continue to appease a him he will continue to make demands and wants to rule the building. Perhaps you are an easy target.

I moved into a place and after 20 years of apartment living and never having a neighbour complain about my noise, my new downstairs neighbours started complaining about my noise. That was that my tv was too loud and they could hear it in their lounge under mine and in their bedroom. The night the wife came up to complain I had the volume on 4 when 2 is silent. I couldn't hear it in the next room of my own apartment. I moved the tv away from the wall and then next day told them what I had done. However, I then added - I have done all i can do. My television is not at an unreasonable volume and I have to be able to live in my home. If it continues to be a problem then you may have to contact the body corporate (as they own their apartment) and the owners of my apartment (as I rent which i think also explains their power feeling) and organise to have the sound proofing improved in the floors (which are floor boards with carpet). Other than that I do not think an indepenent body would think the volume of my tv was unreasonable.

I really got the idea that these people were going to keep coming up with things if I didn't put my foot down. They did it all in a very nice way - but this is often passive aggressive behaviour to get their own way. So don't get pushed around. Ps they haven't complained since. But I also doubt they want to fork out money to fix the sound proofing. The only thing now is that I notice their sound more - one being the sound of the husband talking on the phone and they both irritate the hell out of me now.

Oh yes prior to this complaint they complained about my son's basket ball hoop in the common garden area and their cat bullies my cat all the time and attacked me when I tried to stop it coming in to my home after my cat so I had to get a tetnus shot and go on antibiotics. When I origanally told them about what had happened with their cat their was no offer to pay my medical bills. So I am glad that I then set them straight and made it clear that I was not going to put up with their constant nit picking. They have been super nice since but I now don't want a bar of them. Well good luck and stand up for yourself.

We have the same problem with our neighbor. Shes constantly knocking on our wall cuz she says our tv is too loud when we can barely hear it. We cant exactly do the headphones deal being a family of 4. But what erks me is that she talks on the phone 24/7 and even with my tv on i can still understand every word she says, but when I knock on the wall she bangs back. So hows that fair? And she calls herself a christian! HA!!! A christian wouldnt bsng on the wall when I lightly knock to let her know shes too loud. And I only did it once cuz I was rocking my newborn and her phone conversation woke her up at 2am

Your that lady! I know you so well. You spend all day in front of that TV pressed against a shared wall. In return
it turns my wall into a bass speaker cab. All day, all night. I don't watch my TV so it drives into my brain all day and night. Besides if I did it's against my wall. I try to write, I try to read (I'm in a wheel chair) I could put my 65 inch TV against your wall and see how you like it but it's known the only rights you care about are your own. At that point, weeks of not sleeping I don't feel like buying you head set. You already intrude into my apartment every moment of everyday and you don't even split my rent. I have a feeling it's like everything else your existance always has to be someone elses problem.
Dad, soc., ssi, welfare, food stamps, hud, ex husband, the state of NY, The guy next door.

What a poor man having to do all that I have a bad neighbour who we have complained about 3 times and have told her she is upsetting us all we can't hear our tv from 8 onwards we. are going to bed with ear plugs in and wait till 11.30 before she goes to bed.Its ruining our life .I have wrote

Lovely letters spoke with her kindly and. after 3 years still the same.We have a mortgage she is renting .Its he'll .Doing all that for his neighbour is great but it needed to go. to that extreme.My neighbours says I like my music load and tv so tough lump it.What shall I do even had a device in to check sound from the council.

I know this is an older topic and I am on the other end of this, having a guy living above me who has had his TV too loud. Initially, I would hear either Stereo Bass or TV sounds, such as rumbling, explosions, etc., for hours - and would do so when arriving home late, until 4-5 am. Otherwise, he would do so ALL day, including into the wee hours.

I struggled with this, trying different tactics which failed. The manager finally had put her foot down after 4 1/2 months, to have his audio noise cease. Thankfully, it had stopped for a long while, but now 8 months in, I have begun hearing his TV again. It is not blaring, but enough to conflict with my own TV viewing / hearing. My volume is kept very low, being only 7 1/2 feet from and have never had it (or music) up too high or complaints about.

It seems some want to have everything amplified for some reason and don't apparently care how they are being. (When he moved in, I saw he had a GIGANTIC Analog TV and HUGE speakers). I have lived in this unit for several years and never before had a neighbor above me whose Audio sounds were overheard, so it is not the unit, but comes down to the personality of a tenant. They don't realize (or care) that it is not the same as private housing.

As with everything he does besides (stomping, causing thuds, slams), I see him as childish, selfish individual and is a type that many complain about. It's too bad that this sort of problem erupts and that management should have a better handle on. There are many reasons for him to NOT live in an upstairs apartment, maybe not an apartment at ALL, due to his schedule, habits, preferences, chosen behavior and obvious thoughtlessness. It has been considered that he could be moved to a lower unit if and when it comes available, yet are few of and don't know when that may be ((sigh). I have considered moving to a different unit here myself, but hopefully will move elsewhere altogether as the opportunity arises. I don't want to have to continue experiencing rude neighbors again down the road, but is apparently such a people problem.

The thing is, others do not know what an individual's experience may be day to day or likely to have others available to witness their situation. It would just be good if everyone could just be conscious and considerate of others (as some are raised to be) especially if in shared spaces, which would prevent a lot of problems.

I am unfortunately experiencing this exact same thing with my upstairs neighbour but I am the one complaining. She has her tv on almost 24/7. It isn’t “loud” but it’s a constant droning sound ALL. THE. TIME. it’s driving me bananas. Absolutely no peace and quiet. Oh and she’s almost deaf. I forgot that part... so it’s louder than it should be. I offered to buy her a pair of headphones up to $150 dollars - that I could chip in but she refuses and keeps her doors and windows open all the time which makes it even worse. I can’t even enjoy my balcony in peace because of this constant droning of unnecessary noise pollution. If I was your neighbour, I’d JUMP at the chance to pay as much as I could for your headphones. God... I should be so lucky. :(.

Annnddd... I just saw this post is 13 years old. Ah well. Maybe it will help someone else feel they aren’t alone in wanting SOME peace and quiet in their own homes. :’(

I am sorry to hear of your struggle, Fiona. (BTW, the site may not care if the topic originated years prior, if the subject is relevant). It’s absolutely painful that others are forced to be disrupted by another’s preferences, habits, issues, schedule. It should be stated in a housing agreement that one might need to have to “put up with neighbor’s problems”…but they won’t do that, needing renters. It must be why it was established, under the guise of “Everyday Living noise” to cover anything or everything that might be overheard, including unnecessary, excessive racket. There is no differentiation of and should be. This way one can say it is just “normal, everyday sounds” or “apartment living”. Just as saying “nothing can be done about walking”, which there truly is a difference of those striking hard on their heels, from those walking normally. Then it may be concluded that the sufferer is overreacting to something minor, when hearing repetitive pounding upon your ceiling is truly annoying. Another would have to live in your unit to witness it, and yet that is not going to happen. I have recordings of “snapping and cracking sounds” - on CARPET, no less, yet the manager will not bother to listen to. I want out…but with rent being unaffordable for some, we are stuck. I did not experience noisy neighbor issues until later in life, believing that my previous, quiet housing situations were the norm.

I just heard a complaint from my superintendent as well. He said the people complained that I had my Television going until 3 in the morning. This is untrue. I didn’t think anyone could hear my T.v as I am in a corner unit and next tome is an electrical room…no tenants. Asit turned out it was the downstairs neighbor and my T> is in my bedroom. How late is one allowed to have the television on at night? Nothing was said in my lease.