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I never thought this would be a problem...

Posted by fireflyfan314 (My Page) on
Mon, Apr 20, 09 at 15:21

I am a very clean person. Not a clean freak, I don't care if dishes are in the sink for a few hours or the floor hasn't been swept in a few days. I used to live with two incredibly messy people, couldn't handle it anymore, then moved in with a clean freak. I thought I would be happy, we would live in harmony...no. She was fine at first, then little things started happening. If I wasn't taking my clothes out of the dryer immeaditly after the buzzer went off, she would put them in a trash bag and leave them outside my door, even if she had no laundry to do. She has to clean the floors every day and says my shoes are too dirty to wear in the house. I can't leave anything of mine in the kitchen or living room because she likes it to look like no one lives out there, so it ends up in front of my door. She tells me I don't do anything right, from drying my clothes on normal and not permanant press like her, to doing my dishes. I used to put them in the sink for a bit, now they go straight in the dishwasher (but I have to handwash them clean first), it doesn't matter though, she reloads them because they aren't right. I try to remember to wipe down the counters after I use them, but sometimes I forget, like a human, and she calls me a lazy ass. God forbid I don't scrub the counters, floors, and sink after making a sandwhich (I have seen this)
She also won't let me park in the driveway, even when she's not there. She says she needs it, but won't tell me why, and flies off the handle if I park there. I have to park in the convience store parking lot across the way.
One more thing, before I go. She starts making her lunch in the kitchen around 2, eats at 3, cleans till 5, cooks dinner till 7, and eats till 9 with her boyfriend, then cleans till 10, then bit**** cause I don't help out in the kitchen. Ummm, when am I supposed to? I can barely find time to make soup. Oh yes, this is everyday. She works early mornings, and doesn't have many friends to spend time with.
What do I do? I have tried to ask her what is wrong, and what I can do to make her life easier, but she tells me everything is fine and she is just stressed. How can I change if I don't know what to do. I am not moving out.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

Has my wife rented you a room in our house behind my back? No it can't be - she doesn't cook.


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

I feel for you. I was sorta in the same spot you were with my first roommate while living in Chicago. Only the roles were reversed (I however did not have the cleaning tendencies you describe).

"Everything is fine and I'm just stressed" -I don't buy that. I fed the SAME line to my old roommate when she asked me what was wrong. Clearly there is more to her "stress" (in my opinion).

My old roommate started being a little more attentive to the dishes in the sink and food left out in the living room when a cockroach was spotted. I suggest, once in a while, take a little extra time and don't leave the dishes in the sink (even though its for a few minutes) same with you laundry. When you take your clothes out, put the dial setting back on permanent press before she see's it. The driveway thing makes NO sense to me. Sounds like she is sorta controlling.

If you don't mind me asking, is the rent spilt evenly?


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

if you refuse to move out, I would just do what she asks and stay out of her way, voila, problem solved. if you don't then you have to find a way to live with the griping. Personally I would move out.


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

Update! Rent is sort of split evenly. It's a three bedroom house. She occupies two bedrooms and the master bath, I use one bed with one bath. Since rent is charged by bedrooms, she pays 600 while I pay 300. But that doesn't matter. She's moving out in may! To a different state, which is sad. I think we could have been really good friends if we'd have lived apart. I do understand that moving states is stressful. I'm going to suck it up and do my best to make her happy


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

Wow...and I thought my old roommate was a clean freak! She basically set up a day each week that we had to clean, constantly vacuumed when it wasn't dirty, and got mad when dishes were left for a day, but this is just crazy. The laundry thing my god...I would be so pissed about that, how is laundry in the machine making a mess?? That baffles me.

Some people....I admit though I lived with two messy roommates once and found myself doing all the cleaning and getting angry about it, I think once I put stuff of theirs in front of their doors after they neglected to do anything while I was cleaning, but this was being fed up for a week from things that were left around by them.

I just think its best not to have a roommate, unless you find someone who shares the same cleaning habits as you, otherwise someone is going to be mad about it. But I guess living with a crazy clean freak is better than living with a lazy messy person - if you're constantly cleaning up after some messy person you might be more frustrated than living with the girl who's constantly cleaning and slightly crazy about it.


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

Sounds like your room mate is OCD. She may be functional, but she clearly has to have control. Just hope you find someone easier to live with when she moves out. Good Luck.


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

This is why you agree upon a minimal standard of cleanliness beforehand, and the "neat freak" of the bunch is responsible for anything above and beyond that standard. Your roommate sounds a bit nutty, but she's moving out. I'd suck it up for now and choose my next roommate wisely. Good luck. :)


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RE: I never thought this would be a problem...

Yeah seems like she is a clean freak and a control freak. That's why I work my ass off to live alone so I can eliminate that kind of problem.


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