Hello. New member and first post here, but I need some advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now. His sister, who is disabled, has lived with him for a year and a half and is home all the time, she does not work.
The 3 of us decided to get a larger apartment together about a month ago, in part to benefit his ex wife and daughters (long story) and in part because it was financially smarter for all of us. I have 2 cats, and the kitties were a topic of extensive discussion as the sister is a confirmed animal hater. She insisted it wouldn't be a problem. She said if they were out and around, sahe would just spend time in her room, and I agreed to minimize their contact with her.
We are all now living together. She has her own bedroom and bathroom that my cats stay out of. It is her living room furniture in our living area.
Initially, it seemed to be going well. I kept the cats closed up in the 3rd bedroom and she came in to see them and agreed to let them out and around, but she didn't want them on the furniture. I supported this although I disagreed with it...her furniture, known dislike of cats, etc. But when she roughly pushed my 19 year old mostly blind and deaf cat off the couch, I told her we'd need to have a chat. I was concerned about him being injured from her pushing him off when he doesn't understand and has always been allowed up.
After we talked, she made an effort for a few days to learn a bit about their personalities and such, and seemed to actually be enjoying them. I made an effort to make sure they didn't cause problems. She was sitting with them on her lap and petting them and all was well.
Last night I come home from work to the roommate complaining about the "overwhelming stench of cats in here". One of my 2 cats just went to the vet this week for a bath and nail trim and to have an angti-shedding treatment.
I have a poor sense of smell, and asked my boyfriend if he noticed anything. He doesn't. I definitely don't. My boyfriend's 2 daughters don't notice a smell. I completely change the litter box every day and keep their food dishes in the bathroom that is attached to our bedroom, and often keep a window open just in case. Neither cat has had any litterbox issues.
Today's rule is that she doesn't want the cats in the "common living space" or "on my furniture". She stated that after they sat on her lap the other day (at her invitation) she had to shower because all she could smell on herself was cat. Funny...she sat with them and then stayed up watching TV for hours afterwards...I didn't see her running to the shower.
I am upset that first of all, she was aware of the cats and originally said if they bothered her she'd stay in her room. Now I'm being told the cats aren't welcome in the common areas even if I vaccuum and use the cat hair cleaner every day. They are short haired indoor cats.
I'm also insulted at the "stench" comment. No one who has been in the apartment can even tell we have cats if they don't know and because she "didn't grow up with cats I can tell when there's a stink of something that shouldn't be here." The cats didn't just get added here after we moved in...she knew about them and agreed before we made this arrangement and signed a one year lease that we are less than a month into.
I don't like the rules changing every day. It is their home, too, and it saddens me to have them closed up in a bedroom alone if I am at work. My older boy is a kind, gentle soul who is 19 years old and fading fast, and wants nothing other than to just lay in the sun next to someone and sleep. My younger kitty is playful and interactive but not the least bit naughty. She's probably the most affectionate cat you'd ever meet.
The terms of the lease allow it to be broken with 2 months rent only if all people on the lease agree to do so, which she won't....she has said a number of times that she is never moving again. She cannot afford this place on her own income.
I think she's being petty and snide and is re-negotiating things she agreed to. Funny to me that she made an effort with my cats during the time I was helping HER unpack and put her pictures up, and fixed her computer and did her taxes online for her. Now that SHE is all unpacked and settled in, etc, and doesn't need me, she's become a different person. My boyfriend says that this is who she is....multiple personalities, almost.
Any suggestions?
camlan
westvillager
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