I don't want to be judged....just need some advice
SO and I have been together for 19 years. He has 3 kids who are all grown, married and have kids of their own. The dilema is that all these years they have all celebrated Christmas at his brothers house and I and my kids have always gone to my Moms house. Both celebrations have always been on the same day--the Saturday before Christmas. It didn't matter that we had to be at different places, I mean we all live in the same town, we all see each other a lot, so it isn't like we would miss seeing someone who was only in 1 day. Fast forward to this year, my kids do live out of town now and my son lives out of state. We are having our Christmas at my Moms this Saturday. SO's brother has decided that he is not having Christmas at his house this year. I don't know why, he didn't say, just that he was not hosting at his house this year. So I asked SO if we should do something at our house for his kids and their families and he said no that they all went to their Mom's house and then their in-laws houses too, so they had plenty of obligations already. The dilema, I feel bad, like I think that we should all celebrate together even though we never really have and I don't want to do it this weekend because I only have my kids and their families at my house for a few days and I don't want to spend the whole time cooking and entertaining. This sounds so selfish. I just don't know what to do and SO is useless---he really doesn't think it is a big deal..because like I said his family all lives within a few miles of us so we see them all the time. My kids do live out of town and we don't see them very often and I selfishly want them to myself.
If we don't have a meal or celebration, how do we give them their gifts? The youngest of his grands is 13, so at this point they all get gift cards because that is what they want.