house guests update :)

auntyaraNovember 1, 2013

First I would like to thank everyone for their helpful comments, and heart felt thoughts for our pain. We are healing as much as we can.

A gigantic cloud has been lifted.
They moved out yesterday and will tow their broke down car some time this week. They had 2 cars, so don't think I tossed them in the street :)
I thought my husband would be angry and he was for a few minutes until he realized they were already gone when he got home from work. I swear I saw relief wash over his whole face. He thought they would be here, and he would have to have the "don't listen to her speech" He is so happy to have his man cave back! And when I told him they moved in with her mother, he said """we are never letting anyone move in again""".
She had told him that her mother said under no circumstance is she ever allowed back.
Well I don't even care anymore. She either lied or her mother had a change of heart. Who cares. We let it go.
Last night we were thinking about all the times we've let family member stay with us. Some stayed a week some a couple of months, some stayed for 2 years! ( my sister's housed burned down and the insurance co tried to screw them over)
A total of 15 different family members. Have stayed with us over the years. Add these 2 and we're up to 17. We just have to laugh!
We must have suckers tattooed on our faces. lol
We FINALLY learned our lesson. A word of warning to all of you, if you are sucker for a sob story...don't buy a big house in the country. Don't fall for the "you wont even notice we're here" The whole aura of my house changed. Happy ending it's changing back.
Thank you all soooo much !
Laura

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katlan

I read your other post but didn't respond. I was very conflicted about it. I agreed with a lot of the comments made. I also realized that it's easy to sit here in my empty nest and say do this do that. So I didn't say anything.

I am very happy for you that this is resolved,hopefully amicably. That kind of stress can be crushing.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 9:16AM
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suzieque

I'm so happy for you, and relieved that your husband is good with it. Too bad that he didn't back you up in front of them, but let that go, too.

I don't think you have "Sucker" tatooed on your forehead. I see "Good and Caring Person" on your forehead. So, don't beat yourself up. Just know that you have done for others and have, unfortunately, been taken advantage of on occasion.

But also be proud of yourself for your self-preservation action. And ... you may have helped these 2 but not letting them mooch anymore.

Suzieque

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 9:16AM
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dees_1

We have a rule in our house.....you're welcome to visit. Just don't bring luggage.

I have a spare bedroom for guests. It's not living quarters. Everyone knows they are welcome to visit.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 9:29AM
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socks

That was so stressful and terrible for you, but you were so strong and handled it very well. You must feel like you are on vacation! Now relax, recover, and enjoy your home. Everyone here is happy for you.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:28AM
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petaloid

Excellent news!

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:34AM
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naughtykitty

I am so happy for you. I felt ill when I read your other post. I have had some bad roommates and I felt sick, stressed and taken advantage of. You know when it is time to ask them to move on, but it isn't easy. Enjoy your peaceful home.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:40AM
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dedtired

Yay! Good for you. Enjoy the privacy of your home.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:42AM
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alisande

That's a great update! I'm relieved too. ;-)

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:47AM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana

I too read your first post, but didn't reply and I'm so happy to hear that everything has worked out.

In the past, I've resisted 'helping' some who were down on their luck, fearing that it wouldn't really be helping them, but instead would just be enabling them to go on as they have been.

In many cases, there is a bad reason why someone is in a bad situation (son's friend) and until he changes his ways, and others quit enabling him, he won't learn to stand on his two own feet. Hopefully the young man will get straightened up now and start to learn to fly right.

Sue

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:50AM
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lindaohnowga

I'm happy to read that they are gone and your life will be peaceful. That's a great way to start out the new month.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 10:53AM
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auntyara

Thanks again everyone. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. And Sue aka Chemocurl, it's so good to "see" you again. You've been a like an internet guardian angle to me. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I sure do remember you!
:) Laura

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 11:11AM
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lisa_fla

So glad to read the update! I can feel your relief thru your post. I imagine your cats will be happy too. You absolutely did the right thing and at the right time. If this festered longer, it could have gotten ugly quickly. Its a good lesson learned for you too-no more live ins. Enough is enough. 17 people? At least the first 15 weren't this bad! So sorry you lost your son. I bet he would have been proud of you being brave enough to do what deep down you know needed to be done. You didn't get to the point of severing ties with this kid, so all is good. Hopefully he matures and gets rid of the girl!

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 11:27AM
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rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7

I'm so happy for you AND happy for your poor pets, lol. I know that they are feeling a sense of relief, too.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 11:43AM
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YogaLady1948

I am Happy Dancing for you Laura!

May All Beings Know Love and Peace~~~

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 11:47AM
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lily316

I'm happy for you. You are a way nicer person that I am, because it wouldn't ever even been something I would have done. I have had visitors, but no one ever moved in except to visit for a few days. Husband and I have no siblings and a very small family. Kids never moved back home so I have never dealt with this but i am set in my ways and would have gone nuts with your situation.

My condolences to you on the loss of your dear son. I can't imagine losing a child.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 12:06PM
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JeanInWa

Your relief is expressed in your post.

again I say...GOOD FOR YOU! :)

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 12:18PM
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ravencajun Zone 8b TX

I love it when a plan works out well!
Good for you!
Enjoy your home again.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 1:11PM
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OklaMoni

Thanks for the update, and enjoy your place again!

Moni

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 4:25PM
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jannie

I'm so glad they've moved on.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 4:32PM
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Georgysmom

Good for you! Now, you've done your fair share of good deeds for other people, from here on in, let someone else do it and enjoy your life.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 5:08PM
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debo_2006

Pat on the back to you, Laura. Now that you both learned your lesson, NO will be easier to say when the next person asks - lol.

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 7:05PM
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana

I'm not sure if you remember me, but I sure do remember you!

Of course I remember you...my good ole GW buddy.

Sue

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 7:42PM
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joyfulguy

I am pleased that you can call your soul/house your own again!

I commend you for your kindness in helping folks who were in need.

I am inclined to think that it would have been a good idea to have laid down the law, early on, when you were being taken advantage of ... they were guests in your home, after all.

Dad used to say, "Give'em an inch ... and they'll take a mile".

He didn't say how long it waould take, and usually they do it by increments.

Even dogs try the alpha dog, on occasion, and need to be put into their place!

(Dogs tend to lie on doormats, don't they? Don't get any back-talk at all, in those circumstances.

Hope you enjoy your time together ... and it would have been better if friend husband had provided a little more (quite a it more?) backup.

Good wishes for the coming weeks ... months.

ole joyful

    Bookmark   November 1, 2013 at 7:56PM
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kittiemom

I haven't been here to the KT in a week or so, but I read your original post this morning. I'm very sorry for the loss of your son. I'm glad you were able to get your guests moved out. They were taking advantage of you & your husband.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2013 at 9:34AM
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