16 year old grand kids are such a challenge

glenda_alOctober 10, 2012

You gotta love them, but they can be so difficult!

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mimilm

Hi,
That has been going on for generations, hasn't it? I have
told many parents "that age" is so hard, they go off for a while--few hard years coming up, but by the time they are
about 20, they come back....hope that makes sense.
I think it is harder for young ones today with all they have, phones, internet, popularity, overwhelmed with "stuff". It gets confusing to them. You just hope they keep
on track and come out ok in the end.
I wrote a poem about my daughter when she was almost 18. A few scarey years there...now she is doing super with a nice family and job. Takes a toll on everyone....

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 2:28AM
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katlan

Teen years suck in many ways. They are fighting so hard to be independent and parents are fighting so hard to keep their babies. I attribute every single gray hair on my head to those years. lol

My kids are 30 and 25 now. We all made it through it. There were times I doubted that my kids would see the next day, coz I thought either DH or I would kill them, haha.

We are all very close now and my kids tell me almost everything. I'm not foolish enough to think that even at this age they tell me everything. And I don't need to know everything.

Good luck, this too shall pass.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 9:25AM
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jannie

When my younger daughter was 16, she got involved in a DUI accident. She wasn't physically hurt, but spent a night in jail, had to go to court, pay a fine,go to outpatient Alcohol Rehab, do community service, and was on Probation for a couple of years. It was hard on everyone. Today she's 23, working and attending college and she is a lovely grown-up. I'm very proud of her, though at the time I was so upset with her.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 9:30AM
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bryansda

I think teenagers are GOD's way of getting us ready for them to get out of our house. Even good teens are hard to deal with at times.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 10:02AM
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ellendi

Glenda ,I can't see the picture you are talking about.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 10:04AM
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rob333

My son turns thirteen this month. He was a "teenager" about six months ago. Ugh. He's always been a mostly sweet, kind child, but right now, he's an ogre. I'll ask him as innocently as I can, "feeling hormonal are we?" and he realizes he's being obnoxious and then cools it a tad. I'm sure he won't even cool it a tad in another couple of years. I just keep tellling myself, he'll find himself, he'll find himself, over and over again. It's all a part of life. I haven't eaten him--yet. YET!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 10:18AM
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Nita__AZ

We never had a lick of trouble with Bobby until he hit 18. Eighteenitis was horrible. I love him dearly but when graduation came I wanted him out. He has since found his place and is my sweet guy again. I am glad he is so happy and getting on with his life.

Just hang in there for PKJ, it is hard growing up.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 11:46AM
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glenda_al

There was no picture,ellendi.

PJR is the love of my life, but shopping with him can be really REALLY testy! As was Wed afternoon and ended :o(

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 12:31PM
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patti43

I understand being testy with parents, but grandparents are another issue. You're the best GM ever, Glenda. And don't you forget it!! I guess patience is a virtue, but it has to work both ways.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 12:45PM
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OnAHolliday

We are so blessed with our children but we were extremely "hands on" parents. That doesn't mean that the later stages were easy by any means. The three are all successful in their own special ways. I think you can feel secure in your success when as much as they wanted to sprout wings and leave the nest they fly back to visit. ... and call, and ask advice, and leave presents and.. lol Truly, I don't deserve the children I have. :)

I will be the grandfather that the 16 year old grandchild does NOT want to visit!! lol

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 12:45PM
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susanjf_gw

shoot only getting a red x...

you just have to keep talking and then talk some more...he only has 2 more years before college and goodness knows that will make you greyer! (my 4 ended up in college/grad school at the same time, omg!)

stay thick skinned!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 12:49PM
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chisue

The year our DS was 17 was the worst year of our lives. Now everyone says what a wonderful man he is -- and they're RIGHT!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 1:04PM
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marie_ndcal

Just a thought! Sometime we give a bit too much to our GD's and then they expect more or other relatives get involved. I too have had interesting dicussions but gee!! we all survived and guess what! They have kids of their own now and it is called getting even!
Marie

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 1:05PM
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carol_in_california

I am hoping I am still alive and alert when my grandkids are in their teens.
Glenda, I know your day was difficult but think of it as a day of learning and a day of teaching for both of you.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 1:57PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

My kids were not easy, but they weren't difficult either. I do remember telling DH that the one he hoped would stay home for college to save us some $$ needed to go away to university for MY sake. I think one thing that helped us let go when we were uncertain was that we reminded ourselves that our parents were not there when we were teens. His parents did not bother to raise him, so he was raised by patient grandparents. My mother died when I was 12, and my dad did the best that he could at the end of the workday with us kids running the house. He died when I was 20.

We both grew up fine, and we knew we could trust our kids to do the same with guidance from us now and again.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 2:13PM
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amyfiddler

I have three teens - 16, 14, 12 (close enough) and I'm absolutely crazy about them. We have a lot of fun with each other, and there's nothing I'd rather be doing than parenting.

I know not everyone has this experience. But I do find teenage children fascinating.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 2:20PM
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caroline94535

I can't see the photo, :( but hugs to both of you.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 2:50PM
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glenda_al

There is no photo just an animated gif.

I love my grandson and he loves me. But he's bullheaded just like his mother and when he gets his mind made up on something there's no changing it, no matter what.

I bought him a pair of Nike's when school started, and I let him pick, well, he already had them picked before I took him.

Yesterday, I noticed there was a big tear in the material, and he said it was due to playing basketball at school. I told him the tear will just get bigger as time goes on.

Told him we'd stop by the Nike store and "look" and the most wonderful salesperson, said he could turn in those shoes and they would replace with another pair. Well, they didn't have the color in that particular shoe and he would not exchange for another kind of Nike.

I told him I'd buy him a second pair if he would exchange the one with the tear, that way he'd walk out of store with two brand new pr of shoes for the price of one.

NOT, he didn't want to give up the torn pair and refused to look at any others.

TOld him it was his loss and we left.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 4:38PM
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marie_ndcal

Am sending you a big hug. Hope things turn out better with the boots.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 4:47PM
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glenda_al

Oh he's a happy camper with his boots. Top of the line, most expensive. There was no wavering on those, when I spotted a pr $60 cheaper. Absolutely NOT.

When he called and asked me if I would take him to Bass Pro, that he would pay me back. I told then him half would be fine. We'll see. Not holding my breath.

Did show him the receipt as a reminder when we got in the car before we headed to the Nike store.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 4:54PM
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amyfiddler

He's a lucky boy.

I can remember my grads taking me shopping, even my parents, and I could have 'whatever I wanted." I always picked something inexpensive and acted like that was what I wanted - and it was - I got their time! Plus a bonus item.

Relationship between grands and grand kids is unique.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 5:15PM
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glenda_al

He doesn't get treated any which way by his other grandparents, or do things with them as well.

He's really all I've got and we have a bond that can't be "broke" ;o)

He'll be grown and gone before we know it.

But I have learned to stand my ground with him, which is what I did yesterday.

The hunting boots were predecided, so I knew there was no changing his mind on those.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 5:29PM
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ellendi

That wiuld have been a great deal at the Nike store and you know any one of US would jump on a deal like that. Kids are just wired differently.
Glenda, he is very lucky to have you in his life. I did not know any of my grandparents.

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 7:28PM
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glenda_al

My thoughts as well! Two new pairs of shoes for the price of one and you know as I told him, the tear is gonna get worse. duh

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 8:54PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

This is a learning opportunity for him, Glenda. Sit there and smile!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 11:44PM
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lisa_fla

He will learn his lesson on those shoes. You are right-it will get much worse. Sometimes stubborn teens just have to learn for themselves. My oldest is 19-I remember a few times when I just couldn't reason with her. Later she would admit-'you were right-why didn't I listen?' Every time he looks at that shoe and the bigger tear, I bet the regret will grow. Thats how people learn, by making mistakes. Its irritating the older I get, trying to save someone the trouble, but sometimes you just cant-and then its time to walk away and let the chips fall where they may! I think you did a great job-tried to reason, then realized he had to learn to live with an unreasonable decision, and you walked away. Bravo! Believe me-it will come back to haunt him. I think thats my favorite picture of the two of you!!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2012 at 11:50PM
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chisue

It's not so different from 'the terrible two's', when they need to learn to say NO before they can learn to say yes. Our DS never did his two's; he made up for it in his teens.

It's scary because you have a child's impulsive mind in an nearly full grown body. The contemplative brain that can weigh actions and consequences is just developing. They sort of lurch around while you hope they don't hurt themselves or anyone else! They have to try making decisions and learn from their mistakes. They look and act 'tough', but are fragile newbies in the adult world.

    Bookmark   October 12, 2012 at 4:16AM
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Sue_va

Glenda, I can hardly remember when mine were 16, it has been so long ago.

Here is a comic strip that I look at every day. I think you would enjoy it.

Sue

Here is a link that might be useful: Zits

    Bookmark   October 12, 2012 at 11:15AM
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glenda_al

Sue, thanks :o)

    Bookmark   October 12, 2012 at 11:17AM
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