Was it love at first sight....or....

folkvictorianOctober 16, 2013

Just starting a thread here because I was wondering how our brains work......when you met your beloved (past or present) was it love at first sight or did you slowly fall in love with their looks as you fell in love with their personality? Which do you thinks is more lasting?

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Not love at first sight. I was friends with my future husband at work. We started eating lunch together and I found he was a kind, sweet, intelligent person with lots of good qualities. The love part came later. We were both nursing broken hearts from prior bad marriages so we proceeded slowly.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 8:09PM
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Ok, it wasn't love at first sight for me.

My first real love was in college and I was dating his fraternity brother. In fact we double dated and went on a fraternity spring break at the beach.

I didn't think he was interested in me and I didn't give him much thought.

But he called me later and asked me out, and that was it.

We got "pinned" that summer, and later married when he graduated from law school.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 8:11PM
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It really wasn't love and first site but I knew he was the man I was going to marry within a few days.
Our 51st wedding anniversary is Sunday.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 8:13PM
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I believe in "like at first sight". I need to get know someone before I can call it love. I was introduced to DH by a mutual friend at a party. I thought he was attractive, features that I was normally drawn to. I was not looking for a relationship, but we ended up talking for several hours and continued chatting for the next couple of months. Our phone calls lasted 4-5 hours. We connected on every level. Dated for 4 years and just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 8:49PM
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twitterpation at first sight yes. real love requires time and stretching. i believe soul mates are made, not found.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 9:13PM
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OH MY Gosh.... it was so long ago I have forgotten! I mean 15 years old, and hadn't really been 'interested" in boys much; but, yeah, it must have been something at first sight. We sorta met at the school swimming pool during evening swim.... walked me home, continued to meet at the tennis court and swimming for a long time. Married at 19; he had joined the USMC but still had to get his father to sign for us to marry. Imagine that! In SF, 1954.And, here we are, soon to be 60 years (ooohh) married.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 9:24PM
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I usually don't pipe up here but like eaves dropping on you regulars. Yes love at first site this time around, 21 years latter and I still can't take my eyes off of her. We were caught snuggling at Thanksgiving dinner the other day.

I was on a date when I first saw her with a group of her friends. I packed the date up early and scoured all the night spots in town that evening until I saw her. That was it. She said she didn't think anything much of me until after our first unofficial date the next week. She thought I was a player and I probably looked to be. By the time our first real date came to be I was hooked for life no matter the outcome.

21 years latter and hopefully 21 more at least.

I have a long list of women I thought was love at first sight, more like lust at first site, not the same I have come to learn.

    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 9:28PM
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I met my husband Mark when I was in 2nd grade, so no, it was not love at first sight. :-) We grew up as neighbors. He was the older brother (by 2 years) of a boy in my class.

When I was 15, a friend asked me to invite him to her summer party because she had a crush on him and knew I was his neighbor that might be able to convince him to go. In return, she knew I had a crush on her ex-boyfriend. She said if I got Mark to show up at her party, she would have her ex Kevin, pick me up and take me to the party. Sounded like a sweet deal to me.

Kevin took me to the party and then disappeared as soon as we walked through the door. Mark saw it happen. He knew Kevin well because they were in a folk group together. He (Mark) felt bad for how Kevin was treating me so stayed with me the whole party. But I was still looking forward to having Kevin to drive me home hoping he might like me after he spend some more time with me.

Kevin pulled into our driveway, saw Mark sitting on our front porch and pushed me out of the car. As I gathered myself, indignant and a little irritated Mark had ruined what I was hoping to be the start of something special with Kevin, I asked him what he was doing sitting on my porch. Just seeing that I got home safe was his answer. We have been together ever since.

And, we're still in touch with Kevin. :-)


    Bookmark   October 16, 2013 at 9:53PM
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I saw my now Dh in a Taco bell....looking pretty good. Then saw him again 6 months later @ a fish n' chips place I was the assist mgr....and forgot to call back his order. :0) Then ran into him @ a party. I said "don't I know YOU from somewhere"...we both remembered each other from the 2 sightings, a year had lapsed by then. Been married for 35 years.

(NOT love @ first sight, but I thought he was attractive)

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 12:14AM
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Nope. I had graduated early and was in University, but didn't want to miss my high school Prom. Trouble was, I needed a date that went to that school.

Went to a party that was going to have lots of kids there from that school, with the intent to get a prom date. That night before I left for the party, my mom asked if there was anything I needed from the store. I said "Yes, a prom dress" and we all laughed.

Well, I went to the party. Two single guys to choose from. Chose the OTHER guy, spent ten minutes with him (heard about him, his guitar, him, his guitar talent, him, and so on) and changed my mind LOLOL. Dropped that guy like a hot potato, and switched.

That night after the party many of us met for coffee. He was there, and asked me to the Prom. I got home and told my story to my mother, who laughed her head off and brought out a perfect dress! They saw a sale and she told my sister to pick one for me. How did she choose?

"I picked the dress I hated the most. I knew you would love it" ROFLMAO!

And I guess, I just never got rid of him ;)

Dances - married the prom date that never left. But does believe in love at first sight, and experienced it, but that is a whole other story and breaks my heart.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 8:19AM
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Definitely love at first sight!
But I was in no rush to marry, as we were both still in school.
Then he graduated, I was still in.
I was out but he was in grad school...etc...

We met in 1974, married in 1980 and still going strong!

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 9:46AM
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Yes..the moment I saw him..I " knew" I'd marry him...

But that happened a few years later..He was already married..and I was crushed..how could my heart be so wrong..

Well a few years go by..and he starts showing up..his marriage ended..and he felt the same way at our first chance meeting.. We have been married 21 1/2 years.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 10:18AM
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My story is not unlike many others. Met a guy in HS and we were good friends. He professed his love for me in a letter as he moved out of state. I was clueless; we were friends! I had no idea nor did I know how I felt. Young and naïve!

We wrote back and forth for a couple of years. We were both in the service. I fell hard for a nice looking guy and we got married. That didn't last but we had a great kid.

Fast forward several years (pre-internet); I'm living out east and my mom gets a letter from my HS friend asking about me. He had recently moved back to the town we went to HS and wondered what happened to me. Mom told him about my life and THEN passed his info to me. The first time we talked (after 10 years), we chatted for a few hours. Couple months later, I came home for a visit and invited him to my parents house for dinner. When he walked in the door, I got hit by a freight train.

That all happened about 25 years ago. We've been married for 21 and still crack each other up.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 11:03AM
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The question involves *sight*. Men supposedly rely more on their eyes.

The *love* part of the question, that appears to mean lasting love, love and marriage. The question doesn't consider something I think is important in that respect: *Timing*. (Think "War Brides".)

I evidently looked straight through my DH when we both attended an evening class, but he says he was interested in me at first sight. When he called to ask me on a first date, I hemmed and hawed, and finally said we'd talk about that after the next class. (I wanted to be sure he wasn't the dreadful creep who wore an undershirt to class!)

So...he 'grew on me' as I discovered he was not only good-looking, but an intelligent, funny and completely *honest* man.

He's still keeping me laughing after 49 years.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 11:59AM
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Can't say at 1st sight.....I was 12 when I met my hubby...We were both patients in the hospital, he with burns of the arms and me with a broken femur...He was discharged long before me and would still come to visit and bring any and all the young fellows that lived in his area...After I was sent home in a body cast, he still came to visit...After a few years, of being friends, he went into the service and that's when we knew, that was it.....Our 59th anniversary will be on the 29th and I can say, I still feel like that 12 year old (sometimes, lol)........

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 3:52PM
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jim_1 Zone 5B Illinois

My wife and I were "introduced" to each other through a match-making service. Both of us had been married for long periods and discovered that it is difficult at a certain age to meet the right kind of people.

Each of us got a letter with the basics (likes, dislikes, etc.). She called me before I had a chance to open the envelope. Both of us had been on several dates through this service and I thought that it would just be another one-and-done thing. We talked for a couple of zillion hours on the phone before we actually met. Not love at first sight because we talked for a long time before even meeting each other.

What drew me to her is one of the things that keeps us going - she laughs at my jokes! Not many people do that! We will celebrate our 18th anniversary later this month during a 42-day cruise.


    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 6:19PM
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I guess it was love a first sight. He had seen me around but we never met. One day he hit the back of my car on purpose. There was no damage-he was good.

He then said maybe we should go out sometime, my answer was "yea right". & I took off. He followed & stopped me at the next light. Then he asked me out & I accepted.

From that day which was Sept 12th to Sept 25th we dated & on Sept 26th we were married.

I would not recommend this for most people but for us it worked out just fine. On Sept 26th we have been married 48 years.

We were nothing alike. I was the good catholic girl & he was the bad boy. I would not wish my worst enemy having to go through what we did for the first 4 years but after that we became strong & united.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 7:09PM
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not exactly love at first sight but pretty close...actually we never dated anyone else after meeting...couple of fellows I had dated, quit seeing...so 43 years later....

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 8:14PM
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sweet_betsy No AL Z7

We were two kids from opposite ends of our county. When we met at the skating rink at a town in the middle, we were 16. It wasn't love at first sight but pretty close. A couple of days ago we celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 8:25PM
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with DH it was "like". Thought he was cute when I first met him. Then "lust" kicked in....yes I wanted him. Then..."love" grabbed my heart. Now I am back to "like".

With my sweetie......"lust and "love' together.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2013 at 9:48PM
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I was 17 when, at a dance for over people over 21,(yes I was dolled up and passed) I saw him walk in. He was very handsome and well dressed and he walked right over to me and asked me to dance. He told me one hour later he was going to marry me but it took me longer to make sure he and I were really compatible and someone who I could learn to love forever. He was 7years older and out of college and employed and he had to go to my senior prom with me. He came from Italy at age 6 and has very strong traditions and my parents came from Scotland so it was an interesting combo. It's 55 years later and the love is stronger than ever.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2013 at 10:43AM
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Such interesting stories! I wish we had the ability on this site to do videos of all of you telling the tales -- wouldn't that be great!
And such long marriages for some -- I hope you all have wonderful anniversary celebrations!

    Bookmark   October 18, 2013 at 10:52AM
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We met at the first faculty meeting when I began teaching. He was new too but had gone there as a student so the principal asked him to show me the meeting room. I thought he was married. He wasn't. We were together every day but didn't start dating till January. He did my first income tax return for me. We married in July. We had 51 years and lots of fun and sweet memories. He has been gone nine years now but still a comforting presence in my life.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2013 at 2:37PM
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We met in high school, sophmore year, history class..went "steady" for a few years, broke up for a couple of years (now he claims I cheated him out of 2 years of being together), got married in 1970...over 43 yrs later, 3 kids, 3 grandkids, and we're still together. I guess it was meant to be...

    Bookmark   October 18, 2013 at 11:20PM
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No - not love at first sight. I had been dating DH's best friend off and on so I knew him well. I thought I was in love with his best friend. When I graduated HS, I was not dating him - but I was so in love with his friend. I went to a wedding dance and in walked DH's best friend with a girl and my now DH. I was very jealous, hurt, etc. I walked up to my DH and my DH said "it's my birthday, can I have a kiss." So I kissed him - I was trying to get his friend jealous. Thankfully, it didn't work. Funny thing is my DH had a crush on his date and he was trying to make them jealous too. They went to the same college and the friend was very outgoing, DH was not outgoing at that time. Anyway, the friend was supposed to set my DH up on a date with the girl the other guy was with. Years later, the friend says when he went to set up this date for my DH, he decided she was kinda cute, so he'd go out with her instead.

DH's friend was the best man in our wedding. Now that I look back at that, it had to have been ackward for some. They remembered me dating that guy. I remember people commenting to my mom about that at our wedding. I think my mom was kinda releived. She did not really like the other guy. We've been married 30 years next month.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2013 at 6:13AM
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Love at first sight - my first weekend of college, first weekend of his second year of college. Though we'd both dated others, neither of us had been seriously interested in anyone else until we met and then it was head over heels for both of us. We got married three years after we met and celebrated our 35th anniversary in August.

    Bookmark   October 19, 2013 at 11:31AM
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Definitely NOT love at first sight. In fact, I didn't even care for his looks AT ALL. But, I had just broken up with another guy...the "other guy" was already dating someone...and I needed a guy (who had a car!) just to get me through the summer. Just till i could find someone else to go on dates with to the movies, to the beach, etc. Looking back, I'm not even sure I was truly in love with him until after our first couple of kids. But we just celebrated our 52nd anniversary in September. I think he's a keeper! (And YES...I love him!)

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 3:04AM
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WOW! What fabulous stories! Keep them coming! To Carol in CA -- happy 51st anniversary today!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 7:50AM
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Yes it was love at first sight!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 8:04AM
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My youngest sister (the one who still talks to me) met her husband when she was in tenth grade, he was in ninth. She asked him out on their first date, the Sadie Hawkins Day dance. They broke up briefly, she dated others and was even engaged to another guy, but she met him again later, they clicked, got married, and celebrated their 30th anniversary just this month (October). So I believe in love at first sight.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 8:49AM
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The nice couple who lived across the street from my family had met as freshmen in our township high school. She was from the 'right side of the tracks' and he was from a poorer farm family. Her family was Protestant. His was Catholic. Neither family 'approved', but they continued to date, eventually married, and had three sons. Their middle son and his eventual wife met in 7th Grade; never dated others; married and had a family. (Still married 40+ years later.)

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 11:00AM
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Not love at first sight. We actually went to high school together, but didn't really know each other. Later, after I graduated from college, I applied for a job at the company where he worked. He trained me for the job. I admit that I was a bit cynical about love after several relationships in college & just after ended badly. We started doing things like going to the movies as friends, then progressed to dating. We got engaged after dating for nine months & then married 14 months later. We celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary on Oct. 15.

This post was edited by kittiemom on Sun, Oct 20, 13 at 12:03

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 12:01PM
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I met my future husband when I was 12 years old. I was crazy about him....thought he was the cutest boy in school....and he was. He paid me no attention, except he did come over one time because he wanted to ride my horse. He moved away when he was 16 but came back a few months later and asked me out. I wasn't so crazy about him by then, but went anyway. I dated him for 3 years, but I also dated other boys. My parents loved him and my dad was a real loose cannon. He actually did pull a gun on a couple of my boyfriends....and they were nice boys and did nothing wrong. I think my mother kept him stirred up because she wanted me to date Jody. It got to the point that I was afraid to date anyone else, for fear my dad would act like a fool. My parents retired and they wanted me to get married so they didn't have to worry about me. They watched me like a hawk. I think because my sister had run off and gotten married...went to Tennessee, and came home with a baby and pregnant again, and got divorced. I had no desire to get married. None. Probably would have stayed single my whole life. But, I got married. Jody bought me an expensive watch and a half Arabian horse...so felt almost obligated, which I know is crazy, but that's the way it was.

However, over time I did come to love him. We had many ups and downs and things that would have made most sane people divorce but we have stayed together and I don't regret it now, except I wish I had done things differently. We have been married almost 48 years, and we get along fine now....but it was rough!!! Let me tell you!!!

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 3:35PM
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I think for me it was love at first sight. DH had been home from Viet Nam for a few months. My DS was going with a guy and they were going to a party and they wanted me to go along. I was really shy and didn't want to go. They finally convinced me and the party was at his sisters house. That was when the parties lasted for 2 or 3 days at a time. I think we walked around the block a few times and talked and then he gave me a ride home because I had to go to work the next day. He picked me up from work and we went back to her house. We went together for about 8 months engaged for about 4 I think. In January we will celebrate our 40th anniversary.

    Bookmark   October 20, 2013 at 6:53PM
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It was a gradual thing for me. Not at first sight at all. But once I get to know a man, and if he is kind, sincere, honest, diligent, thoughtful, and more, then he becomes very appealing to me. I am attracted by a man's integrity, attitude, and intelligence.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2013 at 12:44PM
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Not only do I believe that it was probably 'love at first sight' but it went further than that--we have some sort of elemental bonding, that's lasted our entire lives. Yes, you read that right.

We met when we were 4-5 weeks old (our parents were friends, but lived in different towns), and somehow completely bonded to each other. We didn't see each other for 17 years--and when we did, it felt like a homecoming. We both were smitten, although said nothing and did nothing at the time--it was just one evening of our parents getting together again to catch up. Five years later, our paths crossed once more and that was it. We started dating within the week, were going steady within three, and were married about a year later. 40+ years later, he still feels like the half of me I was missing those years I was growing up. I did date in high school and college, but it never felt real or serious--in the back of my head, I always had an unspoken feeling that I was waiting for DH to come for me.

Of course, we always kid and say we have an arranged marriage.

    Bookmark   October 22, 2013 at 6:01PM
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No, in fact we were in the "friend" zone. Everyone thought we should date, but I thought he was too short for me. He's just my height and I like heels. But we were both nurses in a Peds ICU, and I loved the compassion and skill he showed as a nurse to sick babies. A friend invited us to a wedding as a couple since I wasn't dating anyone, and we had a blast. He kept pursuing me, and we just celebrated 25 years together, with two wonderful kids. We both went back to school to become nurse anesthetists in the beginning years of our marriage, so we have so much in common. He is still my rock, and I can count on him for anything. Not love at first sight, though, but he is still very handsome.

    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 7:41AM
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I posted earlier, I met my hubby at work. we were both going through broken hearts and started eating lunch together. I became so impressed with his intelligence, his knowledge, even his interest in current events, politics and sports. I realized I wanted to be married to a smart guy, who would get a good job and be able to support a family. Didn't exactly work that way. Mr Smarty and I got married, he got fired from his job, and ended up going back to college to study computers. I continued working and supported him for about 3 years. Later we both worked full-time and raised our 2 daughters. Now we are both retired. He actually never supported me. I have always had my own income. It has worked for us for 34 years so far.

    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 8:47AM
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I'm another one of those people who check in here on a regular basis but hardly ever post. But, reading these stories has inspired me.
My first wife died of ovarian cancer when she was 42. About 8 months after Mary died a friend asked if I ever thought about remarrying. I replied, "A 41 year old widower with 5 kids; who's going to have me?" She encouraged me to keep an open mind. A month later I met Sue through a mutual friend. She blew me off. She was in her last semester of getting her Bachlerors degree in Social Work, she'd be leaving town soon, she had no interest in having a relationship. A week later she met the kids, fell in love with them, gave me a 2nd look, and 3 months later we were married. That was 16 years ago.


    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 8:55AM
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Sue sounds like a special lady, Ron. Your story made me smile.

    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 1:30PM
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With my first husband it was love at 1st sight, somehow I knew the minute I saw him, we dated and married and had 2 wonderful children. We were together a total of 14 years, he turned out to be the king of the rat bastards so we divorced.
My SO, different story, he pursued me, and I just wasn't that interested for a long time, then he tells everybody he wore me down, and I guess he did. Still in love 20 years later.

This post was edited by curlysue on Wed, Oct 23, 13 at 15:07

    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 3:03PM
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When my DH niece was born her DM had a roommate whose son was born on the same day. They became really good friends. About 20 years later the babies started dating and got married. I think they even got married on their birthdays. They have been married about 20 years now.

    Bookmark   October 23, 2013 at 4:21PM
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