Dottie's 'Stuck in the Tub' story
It seems to be time for a blast from the past. Here is an old, old KT posting by our dear, now departed, "Dottie-IN."
This was posted in June 2000. I may have cleaned up a bit of the spelling, since I copied it to share with my Mom and MIL, but it's just as Dottie-IN wrote it.
Posted by Dottie-IN on Sat, Jun 10, 00 at 18:20
I have a nice big tub - but no shower. Now usually I sit on the side of the tub and take a sponge bath but I had a hankering for an old-fashioned sit down in the tub bath and figured since both of my grandsons are here, if I got stuck they could pull me out. Wrong again!
Now I know why I didn't post to the one about 'Your Most embarrassing Moment'...it was because it hadn't happened Eet...until today.
I managed to get down in the tub by sitting on the end of the tub and sliding down into it. I threw a towel over me and called David in to pull the lever up to hold the water in and turn the water on. Okay, the tub gets full so I yell and he comes back and turns the water off for me. I soak, and soak and scrub and scrub and I smell so nice and squeaky clean so I yell for David, throw a towel across me, and he comes in and lets the water out for me.
I'm all set now, right? But wait; I can't get out of the tub. So, I call David back in and ask if he thinks he can pull me up. Says he can IF I can brace my feet and push. I couldn't. The tub was too wet. All I did was slide my butt around and fart. Then I get both of the boys in there but Shane was about as much use as the puddle of water squishing around under my butt.
Next, I had David pull 18 towels out of the cabinet and sit them side by side down the tub in two rows thinking I could push my feet on them and get some leverage. That didn't work either. All it did was get all of the towels wet because the faucet drips.
I ask David if it would embarrass him to see me naked and he said not as much as it would to have the fire department come out here (which I had already mentioned).
I throw off the towel; he closes his eyes and tries again. No luck again. So, I have no choice but to call 911. Neither of the boys would do it because they were laughing too hard. I had them stretch the phone into the bathroom and I did it myself.
Here come the sirens and there I sit with a towel draped over my luscious bod. I don't want to hear any more complaining and how you look in a bathing suit because no matter how bad it is, it can't be any worse than me sitting in the tub with NOTHING but a towel draped over me which I already know is going to have to come off.
Here comes three guys walking in the bathroom, three of which are total strangers to me, and the first one says, "Okay, just what is the problem? Are you stuck in the tub or just can't get out?"
I said, "I have heart problems and can't lift my own weight and the boys aren't strong enough to pull me up." He says, "That's no problem. If we can get you stood up and out of the tub, can you walk?"
Walk? I could run and hide in the closet if I could get out of the tub!! One gets hold under one arm and the other gets hold of my other hand and ZIP, there I am, standing stark naked in the bathtub. I rather testily said, "I can get out by myself but thank you for helping me."
He just grinned and said, "Well, we'll wait out in the hallway in case you're too weak to walk or anything."
Now, all of my towels are wet; they had removed my clothing from the bathroom floor so I have to wrap a wet towel around me and show up in the hallway before they'll leave. They leave, and here comes the landlady..."What's the matter? I saw an ambulance down here."
I said, "Are you sure you really want to know?" and she said she did so I told her.
After she quit rolling around on the floor and telling me I should have called her so she could bring down her camcorder and we could have won $10,000 on Worlds Funniest Home Video's, she called her MIL, who actually owns the place, and told her she needed to get a shower hookup in here for me and ASAP. Said it would be installed by next weekend.
In the meantime, if I absolutely HAVE to sit down in the tub again, call her and her hubby and they'll rescue me. I told her she'd better get a good whiff of me while I still smell like I just took a bath because I won't be taking another one until the shower is installed. She sniffed and left.
Now it's just me and the boys and every time I look at them, they look at each other and snort trying not to laugh. They're smarter than I thought!