If I 'Unfriend' Someone, Will They Know?

suziequeAugust 28, 2011

I rarely use Facebook but want to go in and remove some of the "friends" that I accepted when I first joined. No offense to them, but I accepted some invitations then that I probably wouldn't have if I'd known more. They are simply people way from my past who I didn't know well then and don't know at all now! Such as some high school people. I can't even picture them!

But - I don't want to insult them. Can I just remove them as a friend without them being notified that I've done so?


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You can 'ignore' them. That way you haven't unfriended them, but their posts won't come up for you to see.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 10:24AM
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If you unfriend them, they will be able to see you're no longer on their list of friends.

I guess everyone has their own idea of internet manners, but if I choose to unfriend someone, it's always for a good reason, and I always send them a message explaining (politely) why I'm dropping them. Nothing says you have to, but it just seems the polite thing to do.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 10:40AM
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They won't get any notice, but your name will begin to appear in their list of potential friends, so if they remember that you *were* friends, they'll know you defriended them.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 10:48AM
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I just "friended" a local bar recently to give good reviews of hubby's band that played there.

I have no desire to get their notices of entertainment coming. I just went on now, clicked the x beside their name to remove them. A choice came up and I checked it so that their posts won't show up in my newsfeed anymore. This could be the way you can unfriend.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 10:58AM
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Ok, thanks all for the suggestions. I think I will choose the "hide" button by the x.

Azzalea, I agree with you about courtesy. It's just that these people don't know (or remember) me any more than I know (or remember) them. I think it was just a flurry at the beginning from people wanting to connect with as many people from high school (a long, long time ago!) as possible. But you're right.

At least by choosing to hide them, they won't know. And also, as joanne said, yes, if I unfriend them I'll start showing up in their list of potential friends again. I don't want that, so I think I've got the good solution now.


    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:06AM
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suzieque, If you main problem is you don't want to see their posts then you can simply "ignore" them. I believe you can also post your pictures and stuff so only certain people can see but that can take some time to do each time.

Like others mentioned, they won't get a notification that you "un"friended them but if they look and see you aren't on their friend's list, they will know. I'm not so sure I'd "un"friend them unless you have a good reason. It's kindo of like uninviting someone to a party, it's not so much that you loose a friend as you may be creating an enemy.

On a side note, if you notice someone has "un"friended you don't be so quick to assume they intentionally did it. I've had a couple close friends whose accounts were hijacked and either some friends or the full account was deleted.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:11AM
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I really don't post anything other than a very occasional reply to someone (maybe once a month, if that!), and never pictures. But you make a good point, Carla.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:24AM
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I put people like this into a group called "can't see my posts," and I have my privacy settings set so they can't see anything. I first did this so that I could accept fried requests from my friends' teenage kids, but it works for others, too. Then, if I don't want to see their posts, I use the X next to one of their posts.

Sounds complicated, but it isn't, and I prefer to do this than defriend or refuse requests.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:33AM
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Oh, joann, I didn't know there was such an easy option.

I wonder how many parents who set up an account to watch their kid's facebook activities, know that their child can simply set their account so that "mom" never sees their posts... kind of scary from that perspective.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:41AM
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I didn't see an ignore button, so the x worked for me.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 11:42AM
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If I "unfriend" someone it's because I don't want to be "friends" with them, so I don't care if they know or not.

    Bookmark   August 28, 2011 at 3:33PM
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