And Now: What was the best thing your father taught you??

seniorgal_gwJuly 1, 2013

Last week we reported on the best things our mothers taught us.
This week's question: What is the best advice you got from your father?
When I was about 12 my father told me that he and my mother had taught me right from wrong and it was now my job to follow those rules. It made me feel very responsible for my life and I have tried to follow his instruction.

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chisue

I learned not to marry a man whose first allegiance was to his family of origin, nor one who followed in the footsteps of his own skirt-chasing father.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 11:02AM
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wanda_va

A grudge is too heavy a burden for any person to carry.

If you marry for money, you will earn every dime you get.

Always pay compliments--it doesn't cost you anything, but can make another person's day.

Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

(And...Texas is the greatest state--they let the other states join their country! He was born in Dallas, but moved to the DC area when he married my mother (he is still there). He always taught me that I was special because Texas blood flows through my veins! LOL)

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 11:10AM
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glenda_al

#1 My father owned the local grocery store, and always had to help do inventory, back then.

When doing inventory he taught us to read the ingredients on labels. No more potted meat or vienna sausage.

#2 This was told me when most businesses were family run, but still works today.

Get them to know you, vice versa!

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 11:16AM
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Jodi_SoCal

That physical limitation are not limits at all.

My father developed TB, pneumonia and polio at a young age. Doctors told my grandparents that dad probably would not live and if he did, would never walk. They suggested he be put in a sanitarium and left to die. Grandparents would have none of that.

Dad lived but suffered loss of the calf muscles in one leg. He did finally learn to walk around age 8 and went on to become a Golden Gloves boxer and trainer, Seattle Sheriff, bodyguard, teacher, artist and TV personality.

He also taught me by example that fighting (for him and those he taught) did not have to be about anger. He was the gentlest of men. He taught boxing to young kids to develop eye/hand coordination, self-esteem, good sportsmanship and living a healthy lifestyle. He insisted his young students get a degree in college and pursue other interests outside the ring. I created a web site to honor him a number of years ago and still hear often from grateful students of his from the 50s and 60s because of it.

Jodi-

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 11:19AM
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LuAnn_in_PA

To never pass a playground without swinging on the swings! :)

He was the youngest old man I know!

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 11:35AM
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linda_in_iowa

To arrive at work early.
To not marry a heavy drinker.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 12:14PM
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monica_pa

Strong ethics and financial management (things like investing, borrowing, etc).

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 12:15PM
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lily316

work ethic. He never missed a day's work in four decades.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 12:19PM
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carol_in_california

My dad taught me to stand up for my beliefs and my rights.
And to never be afraid to speak my mind.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 12:45PM
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blfenton

My dad had four daughters and taught us all to be strong, independent women with a strong work ethic. He also taught us to pay attention to politics because it helps us to know our country and the world around us. He died much too soon at the age of 65 and 18 years later I still miss him and his take and insight on politics.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 12:50PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

My father demonstrated daily the importance of the family all eating dinner together every night. We learned from our parents' conversation with us about the events of the day, family lore, safety, good morals, high standards, and how to laugh. As I look back on our family life and chat with my siblings about it, the conversations and antics at the family dinner table are the hub of it all. My parents died when we were young, and so those messages about life guided all of us as we made our choices and our ways in life.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 1:11PM
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juellie1962

My dad detested gossip and judging people. I wish I would've/could've learned that earlier in life. Now, that's what I remember about him. He was a saint. :)

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 1:48PM
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Sally Brownlee

My father (and mother) raised 6 girls. No boys. He taught us how to be strong, smart and independent while also making sure we knew how to be ladies, good wives and mothers.
Most who know us say I am most like him. The thing I am most grateful to have learned is to be a "big picture" thinker.
He knew how how to weigh his thoughts and actions to benefit a group, not an individual.

My grandfather - a dairy farmer - taught me a lesson once when I proclaimed "I wasn't afraid of nothin!" (after almost getting kicked by a cow)
He grabbed my 7 year old self and yanked me away from the cow and told me to always be 'just enough' afraid to use some common sense.
He sounded mad at the time...of course now I know what he was feeling.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 2:10PM
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chloecat

How to drive like a racecar driver (meaning - the safest drivers in the world).

How to buck up and just keep going - never call in sick unless you're really REALLY sick. My work ethic.

How to change my oil, flat tires, filters, belts, etc., on my vehicles.

How to shoot everything from a .22 pistol to a .12 gauge shotgun, starting when I was 4.

I could go on and on. He's a fabulous, wonderful man and I'm so very thankful I still have him in my life. :)

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 4:02PM
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rosemaryt

My father taught me 101 life lessons, but it there were accidental lessons.

Studying his life, I learned what NOT to do.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 4:32PM
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alisande

There were many, but the one that comes immediately to mind (probably because I've put it to good use so many times) is this: Never force anything.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 4:35PM
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OklaMoni

for my dad, can't wasn't ever an option, but he would show us how. Didn't matter if we were boys or girls, we all learned all.

But again, the thing he taught me most, don't take crap from your spouse.

He was rather mean, and didn't mind shoving my mom, or hitting her in front of us.

Moni

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 5:22PM
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gibby2015

My dad was pretty much of an a$$ so it's hard to think of what I might have learned from him. Indirectly I guess I learned that I needed to get a good education and a good job and never put myself in a position of being dependent on a man for financial support.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 8:10PM
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ellendi

A college education is a must.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 7:21AM
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rob333

Invest in good shoes, good watches, and a solid home. Don't wait to say I'm sorry and I love you. Sit still and listen (that's a hard one for me, but he's right). The world is an amazing, wondrous place. All you have to do is watch it and you'll end up respecting people and savoring the earth.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 7:59AM
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sweet_betsy No AL Z7

To value and appreciate each day.

He left us way too soon at 39 years of age.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 10:40AM
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katlan

My Dad taught me that my name and reputation could be damaged in an instant. To always protect it and be proud of it.

He also taught me great humor and a quit wit. He suffered from severe Rheumatoid Arthritis, he limped noticeable, had terrible circulation and his hands were twisted but he never let it get him down. He's been gone for 27 years and when someone mentions a memory of my Dad it's always about how sharp he was and so happy and friendly.

I guess that means he also taught me to bear your cross with dignity and don't display it for pity and certainly don't use it as an excuse to be mean.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 12:51PM
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natesgram

My Dad taught me to play chess. He always said to look ahead to the next two possible moves. Always have a plan B and C. What if this piece moved forward, what if, what if.

The problem I had was when my kids were teenagers and I tried to think of what if they did this or that, what would I do next? As far as kids, I thought I would "what if" myself to death.

I think it's good to be prepared but also to be able to know when to go with the flow. Some things you can't be in charge of and it taught me there are some things you can't change.

Gone only 7 years, but I can still hear his voice and occasionally will smell him on people walking by with a smell of his cologne or cigarettes.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 1:07PM
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joann23456

1. You can figure out how to do most things around the house by getting a book out of the library to teach you.

2. Let the tool do the work (knives, saws, paintbrushes, etc.).

3. Keep up with routine maintenance on your car. It pays.

I learned many other lessons as well, but they were of the "what not to do" variety.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 2:27PM
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jkayd_il5

I learned next to nothing from my dad. He wasn't a very good father. He told my Mom at the end of his life that she was a better Mother than he was a dad and he could have did better.

This post was edited by jkayd_il5 on Wed, Jul 3, 13 at 9:24

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 3:17PM
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susanjf_gw

unconditional love, no secrets, and a good friend....he was an older dad (46 when i was born) good sense of humor...he was a saleman (elevators) and he sold to "keep the men working"...in fact we think he had a heart attack working during a strike to keep the rather hard customers (vegas hotels and casinos ) as happy as possible...that has become dh's motto as well (yes he followed him into the industry)

he passed away the same day as elvis...it's hard to believe he'd be 113 if still alive...

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 7:45PM
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frogged

My dad taught me to drive, showed me by example to take care of your family and your responsibilities yourself. No handouts or bailouts or bankruptcies for him, just hard work and good sense about not spending what you don't have.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 8:28PM
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jemdandy

My dad was did not talk much with me, but did most of his educating by example. He was a very steady worker setting a pace that he could endure all day and as such could perform a lot of physical labor. He was a farmer and instilled the love of the land in me. Unfortunately, he was a poor manager and tended to go broke. The things I leared:

1. Manage your resources and forecast future results. If the future results look poor, do something else.

2. Treat your immediate family members right.
You don't have any others and when times are tough, these may be the only friends you have.

3. Respect the land.

4. Labor won't kill you; laziness might.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 11:26PM
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amyfiddler

Fierce independence. Its a problem.

Service to those in need. A love for music. Non dramatic responses to dramatic invitations.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2013 at 2:35AM
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dances_in_garden

A love of languages.

Just because you are good at something doesn't mean you have to WIN all the time, you still want to have fun playing the game. This is a hard lesson. There are things I could do blindfolded (playing pool, mini golf, euchre and so on) so the game became boring to me. But I never learned how to play for FUN. Now I am not saying that I am a poor loser........I just sometimes have trouble having FUN playing things.

Observe. If you want to know about a person, look at their shoes. Pay attention to how they treat animals and "service" people, their parents, and their siblings.

Dances.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2013 at 8:52AM
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sylviatexas1

Change your oil,
keep your insurance paid,
work work work.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2013 at 11:37AM
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dedtired

That boys only think about one thing!

    Bookmark   July 3, 2013 at 6:27PM
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kayjones

My dad taught me and my sister to be frugal, even if you had resources and to keep our mouth shut - we didn't do well with the last one!

    Bookmark   July 3, 2013 at 7:37PM
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jannie

My Dad gave me one talk on sex. He told me boys will go as far as they can, it's up to the girl to stop them. I knew he was speaking from personal experience and I knew he was being honest.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2013 at 7:58PM
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carol_in_california

My dad also taught me my love of politics and instilled in me early to write to my congressmen about my concerns.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2013 at 10:39PM
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Cassandra

Not much. He was rarely tuned into his kids. Worked all day and distanced himself from us when home. He died when I was a teenager and sad to say I did not grieve--it felt at the time like a burden lifted. How I envy those who had a loving dad. My brother is a wonderful father to his three kids and there are days when I am truly envious of my nieces and nephews and wonder why some people are so blessed with a rich family life and some are forever scarred by an unloving family. A great dad can be such an influence.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2013 at 4:33PM
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Cassandra

Not much. He was rarely tuned into his kids. Worked all day and distanced himself from us when home. He died when I was a teenager and sad to say I did not grieve--it felt at the time like a burden lifted. How I envy those who had a loving dad. My brother is a wonderful father to his three kids and there are days when I am truly envious of my nieces and nephews and wonder why some people are so blessed with a rich family life and some are forever scarred by an unloving family. A great dad can be such an influence.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2013 at 4:34PM
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clubm

My father taught me to keep a good sense of humor n remain calm during
tough situations.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2013 at 4:41PM
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