Of course there were many things that my mother taught me but one that has stood me in good stead over a lifetime is "Take your courage in your hands and DO IT!'
She taught me to not wait for others to give me what I want, but to work for it myself.
She taught me to cook, and also to appreciate fine food, both at home and fine restaurants.
But, most of all, she taught me to appreciate family and family heritage.
Always return whatever you borrowed in better shape than when you got it.
Always respect people's property.
And always remember ... this too shall pass.
That things and money don't make you rich.
Make sure you go to the bathroom before you leave the house. I follow that to this day.
To sew. To look at the bright (positive) side of life and its' trials (she was very negative).
I am sitting here, thinking... thinking... and the only thing I can really come up with isn't the kind of thing you all are looking for.
Through my mother I learned not to hang around when a husband becomes violent.
Never crack an egg directly in your mixing bowl. Crack it in a cup in case it's bad.
LOL Not the best thing she taught me but it was my first thought, it obviously stuck and I do it. I've never actually seen a bad egg either.
She taught me that sometimes, there comes a time when you have to roll up your sleeves and do something that needs to be done. Cry/complain/puke about it later, but right now you do what you have to do.
And I am lucky that I can switch it on when I need it, just like her.
"Make sure you go to the bathroom before you leave the house. I follow that to this day."
And never pass up a clean restroom when you're out, too.
She always told me "Your hair is your crowning glory".
She constantly corrected my grammar. I am forever grateful for that.
I was raised in foster care, so my mom instilled self esteem in me and my sister. She always said 'believe in yourself and stand up for what you believe is right'.
She taught us that you put everything back in its place when you are done with it, which caused my sister and I to develop O.C.D.! I am 63 and I am still big-time O.C.D. because of her perfectionism.
I am not complaining, but because I expect the same from my children and grandchildren, they do complain sometimes.
Always leave the party while you are still having fun.
"Tomorrow is another day"
She also was very correct in her grammar usage. My kids hated that about her, though!!!
Always wear clean underwear when you leave the house!
I have always wondered what was the consequence if you had on dirty skivvies . . .
She has taught me to be kind to people.
Don't worry what people are thinking about you. They aren't - they're thinking about themselves.
Always put yourself in someone else's before you criticize.
She taught me how to eat well, work hard, and respect others.
Ironically, I'm teaching her things now that I am older (I'm in my mid-40s). It's a hard row to hoe, but I'm trying to teach her to go with the flow and relax, it'll all work out without trying so hard.
And even more ironically, my son teaches me stuff all the time, things my mother should've taught me. He blows us both away. Must be nice to be such a wise soul. How can someone who is supposed to be learning know more than the teacher? :)
Get your education, you never know when you'll need it. I followed her advice and graduated from university with 2 Bachelor's degrees.
I honestly have to say I learned more from my dad than my mom. I'm the youngest of 4 so my education came from watching them get in trouble.
Dad taught me how to fix cars, do basic plumbing and construction work. I know what a power tool is and I'm not afraid to use it! He told me to do what I wanted and be confident doing it. He was the one that showed up when I (rarely) got hurt as a kid. He was there for important life things. We laughed about stoopid things (and still do).
Like Moni, I learned what NOT to do from her. Fortunately, there was no abuse in our home. They married young so a lot of the behavior I saw was childish, well into my adult years. I learned that selfishness is unbecoming; be social to a point; there are things people just don't need to know. Most of the stuff is about social interactions. I do miss mom.....she's been gone for 10 years now and was only 64.
If you get something out, put it back where you got it. And, don't talk about your business. She also taught me to always be frugal, though that was by example, not an adage that she repeated. It was a matter of necessity at our house.
My mother was raised by an open and giving father and a suspicious, hard mother. She took on her father's trust in the good in people. My father's betrayal of her trust was devastating, but she soldiered on after their divorce and had a successful career -- while caring for her widowed mother and me.
Everyone loved my mother. I think it was because she was genuinely interested in people. She really *listened*.
When we read "My Last Dutchess" in high school, I immediately thought of my mother, I realized that my father had been jealous not to be the only person she cared about. A year before he died he told me that my mother should have been 'the mayor's wife', concerned about the welfare of others.
It's a hard act to follow. I am something of a 'cause lady', quick to see and try to correct injustices --but I don't possess the same ability to *listen*!
Don't leave house in dirty underwear.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!
My mother was a great cook and housekeeper, besides being a wonderful mother and all around good person. She taught me everything I know about cooking, and housekeeping. She also taught me how to work hard and never quit.
Don't gossip. Don't correct everything someone says.
Don't hold on to hurts. Concentrate on tomorrow. Mom has been gone for 22 years and sometimes I will still pick up the phone to call and ask for advice...
This made me miss my mother today. My stay-at-home mom became a widow with 3 children at the age of 34.
She picked herself up and went to school to become a
nurse. Her example taught me never to give up and that
I can make it no matter what. I lost my best friend and
teacher when she passed on seven years ago.
Never co-sign a loan for friends or other family members
Always have an emergency fund of at least 1 years bills (rent, car payments, etc.)
My mother taught me to accept everyone for who they are and that it is not my place to question people's life choices. I'm not sure I'm explaining that very well but for eg my niece (her granddaughter) used to be a nephew. She had a sex change operation and my 84 year old mom is like - whatever. We have several mixed marriages in our family - my mother doesn't see race, religion or colour. That is a great view to have and we have all learned that by her example.
My MIL on the other hand has taught me how not to be a mother-in-law and by her own behaviour, how cruel gossiping can be. My children have been taught not to gossip and they know why they have been taught that.
You can always find something nice about everyone.(it might be very small , but you can). And if there is water there is no reason to be dirty.
there were various things, but nothing profound...
My parents taught us honesty, faith, and trust. And, maybe not so terribly important, but not a bad thing either, work hard at your job and be so good at it that when you are out for a two-week vacation or gone for good, they'll truly, really miss you!
Oh so many things! Like Linda, my mom taught me correct grammar and I too am grateful! She also taught me to give back to the community and to continue to learn, also when I had kids, she taught me to only say no when I meant it, so that my kids knew that no meant no.....very little whining that way!
Miss my mom more than I ever imagined it was possible!
She didn't teach me much. She wasn't/isn't much of a cook or housekeeper. She admitted to me when I was a new mom that she had NO IDEA why she had me or what to do with me, and that I pretty much raised myself.
I guess she taught me (or tried to teach me) these things:
It doesn't cost anything to be nice to someone.
Never be the last to leave a party.
She told me that a marriage is hard work. I didn't believe that could be true when I was engaged, everything seemed so easy. But she was right, it does take work, and I am lucky to say I have had over 4 decades of happy marriage (most of the time)!
She also said don't leave the house without clean underwear.
To get a degree to prepare me to support myself and high standards of behavior and achievement.
She always said to me "monkey see monkey do" when I wanted to do whatever everyone else was doing. This is etched into me now and I absolutely hate all this doing what everyone else is doing stuff I see nowadays. So to be my own person and NOT be a follower.
She taught me how to be frugal too. But she pretty much taught me everything I ever needed to know. :)
Most things turn out well. I inheirited 9or learned) her basic optimism. She taught me to knit.
Personal accountability - your outcome in life is the result of your personal choices and actions; you accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices and actions - good or bad. You don't blame someone else if you fall on tough times and you don't expect someone else to bail you out. You pull yourself up by the bootstraps deal with it.
Life is not always easy and the only one you should rely on is yourself. Get a job and keep it, no calling in sick unless your actually sick, sometimes you have to put up with an ass for a boss cause he is paying your check, If you want something work and save for it. Stay away from things you know are trouble. Not really a fun lesson but her example has been very valuable.
My mom was an outgoing person, a people lover who taught me that all people are good until they prove themselves to be otherwise.
She taught me to be independent.
My mom taught me my work ethic. She was probably the hardest working person I've ever known.
She didn't get a chance to teach me much as she passed when I was 9,and that was back in the 40's so things were a lot different then.Plus I was #10 of 12,so most of my learning was thru my siblings,my dad and grampa.
She would be proud of all of us though as we all turned out well,and my sisters and I always say we know she would be proud.
So in retrospect I guess she did teach me how to get along with others.
I did inherit her love of gardening,sewing,and crafts.She was a millner in her days,and was involved with the pta,the womens club,church and many other things.Don't ask how she did all that,as I wonder myself.
When in doubt, do nothing. I've used that all my life and it always pays off be it a remark, an action, etc.
Something Mom always told me, and I now tell my kids, nieces and nephews etc......NOTHING every stays the same. Unfortunately not the good, and thankfully not the bad. So enjoy every single blessed, happy moment you get.
Family is everything.
And my mother also said, "This too shall pass".
My mother taught me how to really appreciate, admire, cherish and LOVE old houses.
And that changed my life.
When I was a little girl, she'd walk around our house and say, "I'm so blessed to live in such a beautiful home. Just so richly blessed."
Such things make a deep impression on a little girl.
I resisited most things my mother tried to teach me! She was/is a wonderful cook, housekeeper, mother and wife.
I was a tomboy through and through and tried her patience severely!
I am still a tomboy of sorts...I would rather be working or playing outside than in. I like to fix and build things. I am very independent. I work in a male dominated field.
BUT somehow or another I managed to inherit or learn quite a few things from her. I am a very good cook (hated when growing up), I am a pretty good gardener (weeding was my chore!) I know how to properly set a table, which dishes to use, and can be a gracious host at a party.
I try very hard to not gossip like she does...I cringe when she tells me something...I smile and try not to say anything to add to or encourage the conversation.
She has never been overly affectionate...but I think the nicest thing she ever said to me was after I told her my exDH had been cheating on me for years. (she loved him dearly)
She asked me "why did you put up with it for so long?"
It may be hard to understand, but I heard that comment as support, love and affirmation that I did the right thing and she supported me.
My Aunt Ruth told me that the best thing "Mama" (her mother, my grandmother) taught Ruth & her 7 sisters was:
"Girls, when you go to town, keep your money in your purse & keep your pants on."
How could anybody improve on that?
Sylvia -- Thanks for the chuckle. Doesn't get any plainer than that!