A funny ( caution - may offend)

schoolhouse_gwNovember 2, 2012

Not sure if moderators will object but here goes:

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor

"We're getting granite counter tops."

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enduring

LOL!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 10:34AM
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CEFreeman

Oh. My. God.
I found my eyebrows slightly raised until that last line.

Then, I spit my lovely, hot pumpkin spice latte all over my stupid monitor. D@mn you!

OMG.
The comments running thru my head about marriage and having had enough are not appropriate.

Thank you.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 10:44AM
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donaleen

Very funny.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 11:05AM
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ginny20

Hilarious!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 11:38AM
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blfenton

LOL! That is hilarious! I'm glad I wasn't drinking my coffee.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 11:49AM
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corgimum

Thank you for that! Our remodel has hit a rough patch this week and that joke just brightened my day.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 12:38PM
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soibean

Love it!!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 12:57PM
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motherof3sons

ROFLMAO!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 2:54PM
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EATREALFOOD

:) I assume that's tier #1 granite ?

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 3:50PM
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lilymila

Thanks for the laugh.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 5:43PM
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sprtphntc

love it!!!! :)

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 6:03PM
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EngineerChic

We need a second sticky to keep this at the top ;)

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 7:56PM
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oldbat2be

LOVE IT! Along the same lines, have to admit to some self control here, refrained from comment on the 'sourcing stools' thread...

    Bookmark   November 2, 2012 at 11:02PM
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CEFreeman

oldbat.. heheehehe
I thought I was the only juvenile one here...

    Bookmark   November 3, 2012 at 9:01AM
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chiefy

Hahaha. That's too funny.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2012 at 3:26PM
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rosie

Thanks, Schoolhouse. It's a hoot, particularly because at my age I know a number of women who might be thinking wistfully of granite. :) My self-panicker husband loved it anyway. :)

(Oldba2be, me too!)

    Bookmark   November 3, 2012 at 4:45PM
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