I need closure, people!

jellytoastSeptember 24, 2013

Does anyone else feel a bit of a let-down when an OP doesn't come back and post their final resolution to a problem that they posted about? It's mainly the big threads that generate a lot of discussion ... you kinda want to know how things turn out after devoting all that time reading through the posts. The "Huge General Contractor Overrun" thread is a recent one that left me hanging. It's like watching a TV show all season, and then missing the finale. I want to know what happened, dang it!

Okay, just the fact that I posted this should clue me in that I am likely spending too much time here. Carry on ...

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Yeah, I'd like to know how that one is going, too

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 8:00PM
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Me too. I promise I'll come back and tell you what broom I've bought.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 8:36PM
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Yes, I agree, it would be great if people would include the conclusions to their problems! Not only to report back results or see befores and afters that might help but it is like watching a suspense filled soap!

This post was edited by snookums2 on Tue, Sep 24, 13 at 21:25

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 9:24PM
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lol sjhockeyfan! I do love the broom thread.
Jellytoast, I imagine the op will check back in, I hope so too! And I definitely hope to see swfr's final kitchen with the hood she wants.
A similar disappointment is posters who begin new threads without responding to suggestions offered on previous ones.
And um, yeah, I'm definitely spending too much time here. Partly because I want to see progress in others' kitchens while there is so little in mine.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 9:27PM
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I competely agree. Not only is it like following a TV series, but other posters who offer advice deserve a response. It is just common courtesy. I mean you don't walk out in the middle of a conversation with someone in person....or maybe they do...people are getting ruder now-a-days.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 9:42PM
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Ooh, jellytoast, I'm one of the guilty ones - though in my defense, I *was* planning to do a reveal soon and thereby let everyone know how it all turned out. I definitely was not 'walking out' :-).
But I'm going to post now on two threads of mine about my countertop and its fabrication :-).
I hang my head in shame.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2013 at 10:43PM
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I am currently fascinated by the "S.O. dispute" thread. It has huge entertainment value but perhaps no closure (ever?)....

And of course there are so many ABB people I figure we'll hear from them in another 5 years LOL

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 1:16AM
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Too funny, sjhockeyfan!

I must have missed that S.O. dispute thread. And what is ABB?

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 10:03AM
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I agree they are like series you get intrigued about and look forward to playing out. Does the poster stay with her first true love or get swept off her feet by a new broom?

It's also a real treat to get to see what choices people ultimately make for themselves, often the more so even if their knowledge of themselves and their situations leads to surprise conclusions. Which it so often does.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 10:32AM
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Abb is all but backsplash.

I totally agree that is seems posters don't follow up. It seems more and more.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 10:35AM
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In addition to ABB, can we have an ABK&P, too? That would be "all but knobs and pulls." I've had that disorder for so long now it seems that it should have it's own abbreviation, much like OCD or ADD.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 11:10AM
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I don't think I've had any major threads here, but I will say that sometimes I'll say thanks after a couple posts but then don't follow up if there are other suggestions after that. It's not that I don't appreciate the additional comments, I do and I read them, it's that this is a fast moving forum and I'm hesitant to bump up my thread when there are so many people who would like to stay on the front page for a while.

As for the HUGE contractor overrun, I was wondering about that, too. It crossed my mind that there may have been an agreement with a Now Shut Up clause in it, like myoldhouse apparently got. Total guess of course.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 11:14AM
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I find it hard to stay tuned to certain threads because they get buried and I can't find them again. My memory fails me to find the right titles to the links I want to follow.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 11:27AM
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Holly- Kay

I agree that I like to see what happens with the op. I am also guilty of not following up with a reveal but I really wanted to wait until I was an alumni of the ABB club. My membership there wasn't all that long. My kitchen was completed mid July and the tile guys are installing my bs as I post. Hopefully I will do my reveal in the next few days.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 11:28AM
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holly-kay, can't wait!

I'm guilty of not coming back to a recent, sort of lengthy thread. But I also feel guilty bumping my own thread. I'm referring to the one about when spouses disagree on choices. I still don't have a definite answer on that yet but if anybody cares, I'll post an update when I do! :)

One other note, I think most, if not all, of us are very appreciative of all the advice we get personally and through other threads but sometimes life impedes and there isn't time to respond to every single post. When I comment on someone's thread, I assume they have read it and will take it however they see fit. I don't need an acknowledgement on every post I make; it's often not feasible to acknowledge every one.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 11:43AM
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This also happens with people who respond on a thread, asking for additional information from the OP or otherwise beginning to engage in dialogue, then not returning to the thread for the (often lengthy) answers/responses. A lot of my words are wasted that way, as I really try hard to respond to everyone who takes the time to post on my threads and many don't seem to return to it.

I echo the points about people generally being busy, well-intentioned and appreciated, though.

For me, though, it often ends up being I haven't made a final decision by the time a thread runs it's course - and it's not considered totally appropro to resurrect dead threads, so I leave it there. I'm generally spinning in options - and think I will be until I have to pull the plug and make final decisions. Fortunately, that day is soon approaching...

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 12:34PM
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What was the S O dispute? I either missed that or don't know the acronym.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 4:43PM
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ginny-it's on page one - something to the effect of when you and your S(significant) O(other) do not agree...

Linked it:

Here is a link that might be useful: How to keep the peace when you and SO have differing opinions

This post was edited by Autumn.4 on Wed, Sep 25, 13 at 17:54

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 5:52PM
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I really miss it when folks have asked for backsplash or paint suggestions & they never show (or at least tell) us what they decided. I am fascinated by color and love seeing what people do.

But, maybe some are stuck in the same indecision hell that I am...

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 7:09PM
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What's an OP?

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 7:30PM
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OP - other poster.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 7:42PM
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I always thought OP meant Original Poster?

This post was edited by debrak2008 on Wed, Sep 25, 13 at 19:55

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 7:53PM
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Ck squared - i'm enjoying that topic. Please post when you make a decision.
Edit: just read your update. Any pics of the new slab?

This post was edited by romy718 on Wed, Sep 25, 13 at 20:34

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 8:06PM
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I would imagine the tough part of this equation is that there are people (like me) who are asking a million questions but are months away from having their kitchen done. In five months, when I come back and finally post pictures of my finished kitchen, is anyone even going to remember what a hassle I had in getting the hood vent I wanted? Probably not! The lag time makes us hard to keep track of.
But I do promise to come back and give the most elaborate kitchen reveal I can because I feel like my kitchen should be sponsored by GW at this point!

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 8:13PM
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swfr - LOL

    Bookmark   September 25, 2013 at 8:58PM
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Autumn -Thanks for the link. That old "secret weapon" thread always makes me chuckle.

On the topic of people not posting reveals, I think sometimes people with small or modest kitchens feel intimidated about posting in light of the huge, luxurious, and expensive remodels many post. This isn't a new idea; it's been mentioned before. It's unfortunate, though. I don't think most GWers are really snobby about things like that, and many "budget redos" get great kudos. I proudly posted my puny and pedestrian kitchen (which I love, don't get me wrong). Although it was mostly finished in September 2011, I didn't post until the following June because it took that long to get the window sill remade correctly.

    Bookmark   September 26, 2013 at 10:29AM
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I agree with Ginny. I also think that there are a lot more of us "budget redos" out there than the luxurious remodels. The former describes my kitchen. It fits me and my house and I didn't have to go to the poorhouse to achieve it.

We are so used to seeing inspiration shots of staged kitchens. I don't know if they're even real, but I doubt that many of us have kitchens that look like that. Posting pics of your budget-friendly updates actually provides inspiration to others who think they can't even begin to consider it themselves. If you can DIY some of it, you're way ahead of the game.

I think there's a bit of anxiety that if you post photos of your kitchen, no one will comment. This is a pretty vocal group, so not to worry. Show us your stuff! You never know how much it could inspire someone.

    Bookmark   September 26, 2013 at 11:23AM
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I got lots of positive feedback on my reveal - small, U-shaped kitchen, nothing fancy. But it is a huge improvement over my old kitchen, and I'm proud of it! I also got lots of support and encouragement during each stage of the process.

I agree that the high-end kitchens can be intimidating - some people spend more on their appliances than I spent on my whole kitchen! - but I have found that even those with spectacular kitchens are just as excited about my $3 pulls as they are about someone else's $50 pulls. The decision-making process is the same, whether you are shopping for a $100 faucet or a $1000 faucet. You have to figure out what works best for you.

    Bookmark   September 26, 2013 at 11:46AM
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Many people do not understand how this forum works. They start new threads willy-nilly. They do not realize that a lot of people may have 'subscribed' to their thread and they are leaving them in the lurch by not coming back and responding.

But, I understand how hectic the process is and it is easy to lose track of coming back. I am more forgiving to the people who dont give me closure than I am to the ones who start a new thread instead of responding in the current one they have going. Like you say, walking away in mid conversation to go start a new conversation with someone else.

Personally, I do not read even close to half of the threads, there are so many !! I do have to work too, haha. And I do not necessarily remember the user name of the OP for each thread I have responded to. So if they start a new thread, it is almost certain that I will not see it. And likely I wont see the reveal thread either, so a reveal does not give closure, IMO. Many above have worried about resurrecting an old thread. I think resurrecting your old thread is way better than starting a new thread.

As another example, you can see this also with people who start a new thread for each and every granite they find or backsplash or knob or whatever. They will have 10 or more granite threads they have started (not talking about ones who reach the 150 response limit on a thread). I make a conscious choice not to respond in any of those threads or any other threads by those posters. Or, they will post a new thread for every time they make a layout change. Or a new thread for every single little decision. I will often do a quick search for someones user name to check their posting habits before I respond to a thread. Are they a contributor to the forums or a taker ? Do they have several threads where they are the OP and little to no responses to others ?

As a general rule of thumb, threads used to be much more consolidated. It made for much easier research and easier searches (thru GW and Google). If you want to see examples of people's spice racks, it is much easier if there are lots of examples all in one thread where people keep adding to that thread over time than if 10, 20, 100 people post new threads titled show me your spice racks. Also people used to keep most of their questions to one thread (as a made up extreme example) ... Nickel or chrome, knobs or pulls, horizontal or vertical, one or two pulls ... these should not be 4 separate threads. Heck, they shouldn't even be new threads at all. There are already a bazillion threads where each of these questions have been asked and talked about. Go read those and add your two cents into those !!

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 8:30AM
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angela12345 - you are right. Many of us don't know how to use the forum. It's a learning process. I'm afraid I'm one of the guilty. I recently wanted to post three pictures that all related to one subject. Instead of starting one thread & posting them on that thread, I started 3 different threads. I did realize that it was the wrong approach within the next day or so. I also realize I need to learn how to post more than one picture at a time.
Back to closure, I am so glad to see that Peke's countertop issues were resolved. That was one of the threads that I needed closure. I knew she would update us, so I patiently waited.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 11:59AM
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There are lots of threads that contain mis-oriented photos. Sometimes a kind soul will correct that for the OP, but not always. There's currently a thread with a beautiful kitchen reveal and I just can't get into it because I have to flip my head from side to side to appreciate the photos.

I hate it when technology does this. I take a ton of photos with my iPhone and never have this problem. It seems a lot do with their iPads. As an experiment, I took four photos of the same thing with my iPad in the four orientations. I emailed them to myself and saved to Desktop, then uploaded to Flickr. I posted them on the GW Test forum and they all turned out rightside up.

Sorry to veer OT, but it seems not all software (or online forums) will read EXIF data and flip your photo.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 12:56PM
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Linelle - I posted a picture from my Ipad that right side up on my ipad but was upside down for others. I didn't know it was upside down until someone commented on it. Someone very kindly flipped it for me, which I hope I thanked them for. What is the solution?

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 2:50PM
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Linelle, hhh, you must be talking about me and the my kitchen reveal photos that "looked" right on my ipad but apparently not on everyone else's computer. :(((

I am so bummed about the photos are not showing in the right orientation for you (and I have a feeling for many others, too...)

But back to this OP point. I am one of the guilty party of not closing the loop after posting questions. Perhaps, it was my mistaken assumption that the GWers would like to move on and not continue on with the thread. Although, just last night, I was thinking I want to go back to my posts to update all the kind GW-ers who responded to me.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 3:05PM
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@lovetogarden_oak, yes, it was you and I'm bummed too because I can see your kitchen is beautiful (and white, love it) but the photos out of orientation just don't do it justice. Since we're now having this discussion, can you describe the steps you take, from taking the photo on your iPad to posting on GW?

I think closing the loop would be more effective if GW actually sent an email reply when you check the box.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 3:12PM
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Holly- Kay

Romy, we figured out that when you take a pic with your iPad make sure your home button is on the right. That would seem to preclude being able to take a picture in portrait mode without it being sideways.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 3:28PM
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oh boy. i think i need to apologize...
it's not that i am not grateful for any opinions and suggestions -but i frequently find myself working on so much that i lose focus. i WILL post as i finish things, i PROMISE!

i did just post my breakfast room prints that were recently hung (all 41 of them) over on the decorating forum. i still haven't really bitten the bullet on my backsplash ...so that's where we are.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 6:10PM
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Linelle, I don't want to hijack the thread by explaining my steps to posting the photos (which was lengthy). So I will start a new thread. Will you look out for it? Thanks!

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 6:18PM
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Well, I posted some of the most mundane problems in the world, and got answers back minutes later. Helpful answers, kind answers, encouraging answers, questioning in the right spirit answers. Only one kinda its your fault answer, which isn't a bad ratio and he was probably right.
So I'm skipping the apologies and did an update. Thanks, and I'll be back with more questions!!!!

    Bookmark   September 27, 2013 at 10:05PM
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You can "subscribe" to a post?

I always thought that if post was a couple of months old it was buried too deep to be seen. Seems like people comment for a day or two and then it goes stagnant. I could use a GW tutorial!

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 9:19AM
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Wow, this thread has taken a few interesting turns! At the risk of hijacking my own thread, I, too, would be interested in learning how to "subscribe" to a post. I tend to lose track of the one's I'm following.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 2:36PM
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Well, I guess I spoke too soon. After writing that I wasn't getting email replies, I checked the box to this thread and now they're rolling in. :) Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

jellytoast, right above the Preview Message button is a checkbox with the following:

Check here if you would like post replies emailed to you. Please note that you must enable this feature on your Preferences page by checking off 'Allow other users to send you email'.

There's no guarantee that the response emailed to you will have anything to do with what you posted, but it if you're really following a post, you can see what's going on.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 2:46PM
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The underlying problem is that the volume of users has outgrown the simple topic-per-forum structure used here.

The GW ground rules for using this forum don't state *any* guidelines for follow-up by original posters. Nor do they put caps on the number of times a user can post pictures of granite, knobs, and so on. All of this depends upon personal preference and how each user views and obtains information.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 3:48PM
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Thanks, linelle ... so that means I would have to check my email to see if the threads I'm subscribing to have replies?

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 3:50PM
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jellytoast, I don't know about you, but I pretty much stay on top of my email and check it frequently. I might be in one thread here and hear an email come in, check it, and see that there's some action in a thread I want to follow. Obviously it could get crazy-making if you subscribe to every thread in which you post.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 3:56PM
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Really, any way of using this forum that produces useful feedback and information seems okay to me -- isn't that the whole point of the forum, to get and give ideas and help? Multiple posts, many questions, few answers, whatever. I don't get being critical of how someone else uses the forum, how often they post, or reply to other's posts. Not everyone who needs help will be able to provide it to others equally; often the OP responds to responses and never gets another response; continuing in a thread with a slight change of focus ( ie what about *this* color?) often also gets no further answers. And, as we all have experienced, the search function is often not helpful.

I am *extremely* grateful for those who do respond frequently and helpfully! and, especially, for those with a talent for recalling other threads, reveals, and sites that can be helpful!

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 4:05PM
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