Disappointed...

ellendiDecember 24, 2012

..in myself. A young man came to my door with a tupperware and a sign. Obviously trying to sell something. I automatically shook my head no.
His smiled faded and as he left my doorstep, my heart dropped.
I felt and saw the disappointment in his face and feel disappointed in myself for not at least giving him the chance to tell me what he is selling.
I wanted to call him back but he was already at the next house.
Ordinarily, I try not to buy from door to door sales, but being Christmas Eve I should have handled it differently.
Just thought I would vent.

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bettydee

Your second thoughts show your kind heart. I've done things like that. We probably all have. Do something kind for somebody and ask them to pay it forward. It's the best thing to make yourself feel better. And don't be too tough on yourself. As you said, it's Christmas.

    Bookmark   December 24, 2012 at 5:09PM
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yayagal

I can understand feeling bad afterwards but, in reality, you probably didn't need anymore so you did no harm.

    Bookmark   December 24, 2012 at 10:57PM
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mitchdesj

I don't open my door to strangers, he probably thought he'd have more luck on xmas eve, imagine if dozens decided to do that. I give to food banks and I hope those in need are helped that way, I've been scammed in those door to door encounters. You reacted instinctively.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 7:23AM
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valtorrez

I usually dont let them in either. The times I put my guard down and talked to them, they are so desperate for a sale that they become pushy and I find myself trying to get out of the mess without being rude.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 9:28AM
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lolauren

Ehh... I can't relate (you are much nicer than me.) Someone selling something door-to-door on Christmas Eve is preying on your vulnerability during the holidays and/or the fact that you're more likely to open the door (thinking it's family.) Interrupting a family on a holiday is rude.... unless it's a child who doesn't know better.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 2:53PM
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emma

I am not very patient with them as I have a no soliciting sign on my door. While at a hotel I met some of these young people who travel across the USA selling products for the company that hires them. They are not working their way through college, etc, they are just getting paid. My sign says "No Soliciting" and I have had two young men, say I am not selling sex or words to that affect. My reply was you need to go back to school and finish your education so you can learn the definition of that word.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 3:59PM
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ellendi

Thanks everyone. I guess what got me this time, was how defeated he looked. Who knows, maybe that was an act too, but somehow I felt it was genuine.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 8:16PM
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sameboat

Was he selling something? Or did the sign say Hungry and he was looking for you to put change in the Tupperware container? I am confused. 1) Who would allow their child to sell door to door on Christmas Eve? 2) If it was an adult, what the heck was he thinking going door to door trying to sell something on Christmas Eve? 3) If he was looking for a handout, there are churches and many nonprofits that give to those in need ESPECIALLY on Christmas Eve. And finally, 4) Always go with your gut instinct. Scammers and dangerous people know how to tug at your heartstrings. It's their job and the way they get by. I am a giving person, and I have to say I would have done exactly as you did and turned him away. I may not even have opened the door. As a matter of fact, I probably would have called the local police department to ask if they were aware of someone going door to door on Christmas Eve (or any other day) as in my community you need a permit or to let local officials know.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 8:54PM
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Patricia43

It is illegal in my neighborhood to sell door-to-door following 911. I would think most neighborhoods are that way. Children can do school fundraising projects but that is all. You will know them by their dwarfism and parents waiting on the sidewalk.

    Bookmark   December 25, 2012 at 9:21PM
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melsouth

There are so many other, safer ways to sell products these days than by going door to door. I think it has been at least ten years since we had a solicitor or even a religious agent knock on our door.

So, to me, selling products door-to-door at any time seems unusual, but maybe it's common in your area.
Door-to-door selling on Christmas Eve just seems a little creepy.

I think you did the right thing.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 1:26AM
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bronwynsmom

I don't think you should second-guess yourself.

I've come to believe that our stores of compassionate energy are finite and must be refilled regularly, and at this time of year we spend it where we most need to. On some days, the balance is a little low, and that's all right.

Clearly you do have a loving heart, and you can't possibly know what is in a stranger's intention, so you make a choice based on incomplete information, and then you live with the uncertainty. It's part of the challenge of being fully human.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 9:26AM
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may_flowers

A few years ago, a young woman was selling magazines door-to-door. DH answered the door and listened to her sales pitch, and then invited her in. I just rolled my eyes, but he'll help anyone who shows some initiative. After finding out that she had been traveling for several months from state to state because there are no jobs or opportunity in inner city Detroit, I had her sitting at the table eating chili and corn bread. It was the first home-cooked meal she'd had since she'd been on the road. So I don't put these young people down for trying to survive. They are desperate by the time they take a job selling door-to-door.

It took 6 months to get the magazine, after we had written it off as a lesson learned.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 9:35AM
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bettydee

I just have to add it is rare for me to buy from a door to door salesman. Having said that, door to door sales are not illegal in my town.

Christmas Eve is a regular, often very profitable day for most retailers. I don't really find it odd to have a sales person working on that day. In addition, Christmas Eve and even Christmas don't have any special significance to some.

You acted on instinct, something most of us do. Be kind to yourself and don't dwell on it.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 11:44AM
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lolauren

Christmas Eve is a good time to look for houses that are empty to later come back and burglarize, also.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 1:34PM
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snookums2

Such a shame we have to be so careful anymore. Mayflowers what a heart warming story!

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 2:05PM
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ellendi

This is why I like coming here :) I am grateful for everyone's support and opinions.

    Bookmark   December 26, 2012 at 2:06PM
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