Stop Playing Star Wars Off-Key and Send Me My @&$*& Samples!!!
This is just a rant, so if you're looking for anything useful, look elsewhere.
I am sitting here listening to a neighbor's kid play the absolute worst, most painful rendition of the Star Wars theme ever heard, using either a trumpet or blowing it directly out his own $#@, I can't tell which, wondering: Why is it so $#$^&&%$ hard just to get samples of things from people who are supposed to trying to sell them to you?
I will not move forward without seeing a sample of every paint color, countertop material, appliance color and wad of gum on the floor first--and, gasp, all together at the same time, so I can see whether they actually go together.
Paint: Sorry, all out of base for the Color Stories samples, come back another time. Oh, you're back? Sorry, we're closing. Back again? Try tomorrow. Who told you to come back today? Come back next week, we'll have plenty. I never said that. I'll call you when it's in. We don't call people, why didn't you just come back? It's like an SNL skit about the Paint Chip Nazi.
Soapstone: Let me take three weeks to tell you that the soapstone you want now costs more per ounce than gold bullion, so you can either buy it sight unseen or drive an hour to our showroom for a brief moment of worship. Oh you wanted samples? I forgot, heh heh heh, we talked so long ago.
Flooring: Sorry for the mix up, now it's been three weeks since you made your request, but you only just discovered the other three hundred colors on our wretchedly-designed website, so we can start all over again, mmmkay?
Hardware: Thank you for calling Inaccessible Hardware. Please visit our showroom anytime. Our hours are Tuesday and Thursday, 4:51 a.m-4:52 a.m, and Fridays til 4:56.
Give. Me. My. Samples.
AND STOP PLAYING THAT.
Sorry, back to your regularly scheduled programming.