Stop Playing Star Wars Off-Key and Send Me My @&$*& Samples!!!

marcoloJuly 3, 2012


This is just a rant, so if you're looking for anything useful, look elsewhere.

I am sitting here listening to a neighbor's kid play the absolute worst, most painful rendition of the Star Wars theme ever heard, using either a trumpet or blowing it directly out his own $#@, I can't tell which, wondering: Why is it so $#$^&&%$ hard just to get samples of things from people who are supposed to trying to sell them to you?

I will not move forward without seeing a sample of every paint color, countertop material, appliance color and wad of gum on the floor first--and, gasp, all together at the same time, so I can see whether they actually go together.

Paint: Sorry, all out of base for the Color Stories samples, come back another time. Oh, you're back? Sorry, we're closing. Back again? Try tomorrow. Who told you to come back today? Come back next week, we'll have plenty. I never said that. I'll call you when it's in. We don't call people, why didn't you just come back? It's like an SNL skit about the Paint Chip Nazi.

Soapstone: Let me take three weeks to tell you that the soapstone you want now costs more per ounce than gold bullion, so you can either buy it sight unseen or drive an hour to our showroom for a brief moment of worship. Oh you wanted samples? I forgot, heh heh heh, we talked so long ago.

Flooring: Sorry for the mix up, now it's been three weeks since you made your request, but you only just discovered the other three hundred colors on our wretchedly-designed website, so we can start all over again, mmmkay?

Hardware: Thank you for calling Inaccessible Hardware. Please visit our showroom anytime. Our hours are Tuesday and Thursday, 4:51 a.m-4:52 a.m, and Fridays til 4:56.

Give. Me. My. Samples.


Sorry, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

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I'm glad I wasn't reading that while I was drinking anything or I'd have to buy a new computer.
If you ever need samples from Daltile, they are only 15 minutes from me. I'll gladly go in and get them for you so as to avoid this. I know how important samples are to us here.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 5:40PM
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Surely Marcolo you must be a long lost sibling. We must have the same genetic makeup---I think I've said the exact same words. Well, minus the neighbor kids trumpet. Our neighbor kid just screams, and screams, and whines and screams. Stop. It. Now.
Oh here's another one .. (Me) I called 3 weeks ago for you to come and give an estimate for our electrical work on our renovation. (Electrician)-- Gee, it must have fallen off my radar. (Me) G'Bye. You have just fallen off my radar.

Honestly, if you can show up for an estimate, will you show up for the job?

Anybody else want to chime in with the excuses they've heard?
Marcolo's got a good one going here.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 5:54PM
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    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 5:56PM
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Oh lordy. I'm not nearly to that point in my planning, but God save me when I am.

Reminds me of the time I went to a cabinet showroom in town just to see what they had. I asked if I could take the pamphlet home with me to compare with some other places I had been. Nope, sorry. Couldn't take the product literature. It was the only one they had. ??? I can't imagine the look I'd get if I had asked for a sample.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 5:57PM
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Please, I've already got multiple projects on perpetual hold.

My garage door guy calls himself "Mister." As in "This is Mister Michael Magoun of Michael Magoun Windows and Doors." Every. Time. He. Talks. To. Me. Is he my math teacher? Well, "Mr." Magoun has left me with no door on my garage at all for three and a half weeks. I literally have neighbors slowing down to see if the house is being raided or we're fleeing the jurisdiction.

The fence guy just uses his first name, but last I heard of him was an email saying "Got your deposit. Heh heh."

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 5:59PM
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    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 6:04PM
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Can I complain about how long it takes Capital and the local service guy to get a service appt on my CC rangetop to fix an ongoing issue? Seriously, its been more than three, 3, trois, drei, san, tre, tres flippin weeks and the tech still hasn't called me to tell me when he'll deign to show up again. Oh, wait. I've b!tched about that before and gotten myself in trouble. Better shut up now.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 6:11PM
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I waited 8 months for my GC to come back to fix a drain pipe that was not properly sloped. I fixed it myself and in the process found out that not only was the pipe totally horizontally level, but it wasn't glued either. Fortunately that stuff was still accessible, but I just hope my whole bathroom doesn't implode upstairs because of a crappy plumbing job already hidden behind walls.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 6:19PM
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Sorry Marcolo, I couldn't help myself.

But yeah. Really, isn't it now the exception when you get good service ANYWHERE? I find myself marveling when I get a waitress, a salesman, a grocery store clerk, ANYBODY that believes in customer service. I'll find owners/managers to tell them when they have a particularly good employee since complaining about the bad ones would be.... well, one could make a career out of it nowadays.

Blase mediocrity would be better than the abject lack of interest, concern, common courtesy for cryin' out loud that is rampant so many places that I go. I had a counter guy at the UPS shipping store tell me that I was basically either retarded or lying when I brought a large item to be shipped as I was instructed to on the phone. And then the whatever aged girlie counter girl snickering at his snarkiness to me. I'll never forget that one.

Sometimes it feels like if they'd just flip you the bird and tell you to bloody eff off it would at least be honest and you wouldn't have to waste so much time hoping.

This is why I love Amazon and Overstock.

Hang in there.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 6:28PM
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Oh My He!!. My martini just went up my noise from laughing so hard.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 6:49PM
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My DH thought I was crazy a few years ago when I called our local supermarket to commend the bagger. I always load my stuff on the conveyer in groups according to locaton/function so all my cold stuff gets packed together, all the pantry stuff, cleaning, produce, etc with all the heavier items in each group presented first to go in the bottom of the bag. I always get home and find a little of each group in each bag. This bagger had packed everything just as I loaded it so it was all separated when I got home! I was so excited it had finally worked right that I called to let the store know.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 8:19PM
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May I interest you in a pitcher of sangria?

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 8:25PM
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Marcolo- LOL! Frustrating, but funny. Especially the times when the showroom is open :)

Deedles- Stop it, my side is hurting! First Darth Vader and now the Soup Nazi...ROTFL!

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 8:34PM
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Well, I can't hear Star Wars anymore because it's too hot and I slammed the windows and turned on the AC.

Actually, the AC upstairs, a new system which I installed a year and a half ago, didn't get turned on, exactly. It doesn't turn off once you turn it on. At least it's better now than when our crack HVAC contractor programmed it to come on every time the heat went on in winter. Good times.

Deedles, I don't know if it's scarier to imagine you Photoshopped Darth Moore so quickly, or to ponder the possibility that you may have just found that picture online.

My bratz came out nicely. Maybe it was just the beer.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 8:35PM
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Love this!!! I'm soooo with you!

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 9:15PM
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Geeze, am I with you!

Do you think this kid is a member of the church that built itself in the 3000 sq ft "garage" next door? He's not also screaming Hallelujah in between breaths, is he?

The FexEx freight had a 4th delivery to make to me last week. 4th time they've come here.
1) 4 days after it's due, they call me to tell me they don't have a number for me.
2) they send me certified mail telling me they're going to start charging me storage if they don't hear from me.
3) they can only deliver a) in the afternoon and b) at the end of my 200 ft driveway.

My plumber, a recommendation from my great, Multi-Purpose Fred, was amazing. And not in a good way:
Wanted to give me an estimate over the phone so he didn't waste gas.
Finally came, looked at the two vanities and gave me an estimate to set one.
Wanted to know why I had to have the 3rd faucet for my cat. Was somewhat belligerent about it.
When he came, he installed plumbing for 1 sink.
(Fred had to take out and redo all the plumbing.
Wanted to know if he could come 3 days later and set the vanities, knowing full well the marble wasn't fabricated. He was "going to be in the area" and wanted to kill 2 birds...
Once my marble was set, he came back and didn't remember his estimate for taking a faucet temporarily in use in another bathroom, and putting it into the MBR. (Fred took it out for him while he was installing the 1st faucet.)
He didn't use any caulk around the faucets, so when water gets on the counter (in the routing) it drains down under the sink. (He was gone when I discovered this. Fred has to fix this.)
Funny. I noticed when I flushed the toilet, the sink gurgles. He didn't install the inline vent I specifically wanted because I find gurgling sinks obscene. (Now, I gotta live with gurgling from the bad plumbing my STBX did in the first place.)

Then he was upset when he was told how much I wasn't going to pay him because I pay Fred by the hour to FIX things in the estimate. Imagine.

There isn't a single thing I haven't had to have redone in this house. Sometimes more than once.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2012 at 11:13PM
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Aside....Marcolo, is the setting on your AC thermostat set to ON or AUTO? If it is ON, try changing to AUTO.

And for Gods sake, play yourself some Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass to take the edge off

Here is a link that might be useful: Spanish Flea

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 7:24AM
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Will you be showing us your 'dreamboard' at some point?

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 11:23AM
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We bought IKEA cabinets for our kitchen, and IKEA had exactly *one* installer that they work with. This is a major metropolitan area (Long Island, NY). DH could easily have done the work, but didn't have enough vacation time left, a lot was used overseeing the major renovation of the kitchen/house.
We contracted with them to:
1.) Install the cabinets and hardware
2.) Install the range hood
We paid them 10% down as agreed.
The cabinets went in fine, on Nov 17th. When they finished. the installers asked for the balance of the payment, but I said, not until the hood is installed. They weren't happy, but they left. Thank heaven.
They did a good job with the cabinets, but the younger guy especially, was a bit of a bozo, telling his coworker all about jobs he had in the past that he got fired from because he never went to work on time, even for his personal friend who hired him as a bartender. His attitude about it was, Can you believe all these people fired me for this, they really need to chill.

I expressed doubt to DH about said bozos even attempting the hood, and the 10 inch hole through the wall it required, but he planned to be home when they did it.
We emailed the owner to find out when the hood was going in.
No response. We called and left him several voicemails. No response. More emails. Nothing. No response for three weeks, 21 days exactly.
During the 21 days, my husband decided to install the hood himself. So he did, with help from me and DD. It probably weighs about 75 pounds. We had to buy the pieces of duct, which took some experimenting. He did a great job.
On Dec. 8th, the contractor calls and says he wants to "swing by and put in the hood". We don't respond. He emails us, "I'm trying to get it touch with you".
We responded by sending him a check for the balance minus the hood install, and a letter expressing our disappointment with his business methods.

Here is a link that might be useful: Midway through hood install

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 11:39AM
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Unfortunately, nobody in their right minds who understands the situation uses the horrible company that is the "official" ikea installer in the eastern US these days. There are many very good installers who were ikea-certified under their old program before ikea opted for a financial relationship with Osprey Bay, who do very good work for much less money. Just read the threads on ikeafans.

I'm sorry it's too late for you.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 11:47AM
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Here is a link that might be useful: Midway through hood install

This brings us this:

Mine was a little less cheerful:

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 12:09PM
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On IKEA non-certified-in-any-way installers: friends of ours decided to have a mutual acquaintance install their IKEA cabinets. Turns out the friend is a bit dyslexic so he had some difficulties with the assembly and install. He finally gave up leaving a partially installed kitchen. New friend comes in to finish up and discovers that this won't fit there because it wasn't measured correctly, so maybe we can do this other thing instead -- voila! two skinny pull out pantries side-by-side. It's an interesting kitchen.

Actually, for those who love no uppers, this would be the perfect space: their kitchen has windows stretching 6-8 feet in each direction from a corner with only a slender support at the corner itself. Talk about a view window!

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 12:17PM
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Star Wars 3 was on yesterday and while watching it I had images of Marcolo with his light sabre attacking the flooring guy - take this and that! and then going after the paint guy and the soapstone people over the pits of fire. He pushed the hardware people into the pits of fire and yes! for all of us out there who have gone through the same C#@%, in my imagination, I thank you.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 12:40PM
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Today the trumpet player is gone but the other neighbors have four SUVs full of kids in their back yard. If it weren't so hot and humid out there, we'd open the windows and crank up the out-of-tune piano for a four-hour rendition of "Heart and Soul." But the way a beginner plays it, the first few bars, make a mistake, start over, make the same mistake, start over, make the same mistake. It also helps to pause randomly so that even though everyone is trying to ignore it, they're forced to wait for the next note.

I'm suddenly leaning to a particular contractor because he has one employee who shouts every word he says, burps frequently, blares ethnic music and suffers from flatulence so loud it seems anatomically impossible.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 1:59PM
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Marcolo- Sounds like you need more than a new kitchen...maybe new neighbors? Or at the very least, some ear plugs :)

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 2:07PM
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Marcolo, I told my DH the tale and he had a nice chuckle. We've had numerous experiences with contractors who blow us off and not show up, vendors who are not interested in what we are looking for (because it is not one of the three products they sell/stock), vendors who are "too busy", contractors that want to sell you something that fits their taste (one guy wanted us to put two ceiling fans in our living room and when my DH said no, he was puzzled and couldn't understand why, asking repeatedly "why not?" My DH answered, "BECAUSE YOU DON'T #$%@#$% LIVE HERE, THATS WHY!" We even had an asphalt guy install a drive way which sprouted a lawn in three weeks. When he refused to do anything about it, DH showed up at his office at 7pm (Dh is not exactly a small guy) and gave him some options. The driveway guys scheduled immediately and resurfaced the driveway again. When we scheduled an extention (before the kitchen), DH told contractor "do everything on the contract and there wont be a problem, understand. Don't and you will have a problem". They did what was on the contract. Sometimes the "New Yawk" way works.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 3:16PM
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I found that the only time I get action out of contractors is when I channel the most terrifying person I have ever known, my mother. It used to be hilarious to watch people, including contractors, see this sweet-faced, well-dressed absolutely tiny old lady who called everybody "honey" and think, "pushover." Suddenly, it was like one of those fantasy movies where somebody leans against what looks like the rock wall of a cave, and suddenly there opens the five foot wide eye of a dragon. She first made her appearance coming out of my mouth when I had finally had enough of our electrician, who was possibly the filthiest individual alive. His hands were black as coal 7 am in the morning, and as our house got more finished I grew tired of climbing ladders to wipe his grubby paw prints off everything. One day he showed up looking like he'd been raking the horse stalls with his fingernails. Out of nowhere, out came my finger--bent at the tip, the way my mother's finger was, due to arthritis--and out of my mouth came her voice saying, "You wash your hands right now before you touch another thing in my house! You think I have nothing to do but running around cleaning up after the likes of you?" The kid turned white as a sheet. Next time he came I could swear he had actually had a manicure.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2012 at 3:37PM
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marcolo- Sundress is nice! I think I've ruled out hay stack- just too vibrant in some lighting. I really like squish squash and now Sundress as well.
I can't get a paper swatch of it anywhere but bought a pint and put it on a few spots...
Compared to Hawthorne Yellow, they are both brighter- Squish Squash being the most "yellow". I actually think Squish Squash and Hawthorne are quite similar but SS loses the green look of Hawthorne.
Sundress is less yellow than hawthorne and more beige but also Sundress has less "green" dirty look to it. It's may be a little too beige in my kitchen for the look I'm going for.

Squish Squash is my favorite today : ) I tried Popcorn Kernel and it was too peachy. I tried it b/c it was one step up on the strip from Squish Squash, but didn't like it.

Did that make any sense? lol

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 3:26PM
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Sadly, I understand everything you're saying.

Are you getting a swatch or test pot of Sundress?

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 4:37PM
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I got a pint of Sundress and painted it on my cabinets. They only can make it in the Aura Paint (not sample paint) so it was $9.99! They didn't have paper swatches to take. BM said the stores have to order them and that customers can purchase them from the store. There won't be free ones but you probably know that already.

The mason just closed the outside awning that's been out for 2 days and now my colors just became a step lighter with more sun on them. That made Sundress a bit more beige now.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 5:01PM
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A little bit of beige may not be bad. Yellow reflects on itself and gets more intense. Whatever you think your final choice is, be sure to paint ALL of your old cabinets with it before you order.

I love the fact that it's so hard to pick colors but the world conspires to make it even harder. The Aura fan deck is impossible to use if you want to see two colors next to each other, and you can't hang it vertically on a wall (all colors are darker that way). The paint store will always present you with an "issue" or "problem" that prevents you from getting the samples you need, and they make it too expensive anyway. Chips will either fall of the wall because you used painters tape, or rip off the paint because you didn't. It is making me insane and I would happily hire someone to do this just to avoid the insanity.

My neighbors' kids and their friends have been setting off little snapper firecrackers all day. I keep hoping.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 5:23PM
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I get what you're saying... It's a nightmare. LOL re: kids & firecrackers

Everything on the left is Squish Squash which looks way more orangey than IRL.
Top right is sundress and bottom right is Hay Stack.

Left is Sundress- Right is Squish Squash

Column 1 Hay Stack,
Column 2, Santo Domingo Cream on top, Sundress on bottom (with a bit of Little Angel in top corner)
Column 3 Squish Squash, (Tiny 4x4 of Hawthorne on Door- Bottom Right
Column 4 Sundress on Top, Hay Stack on Bottom
href="ät=620e38ee.jpg" target="_blank">

Dark side of kitchen- Surprised the photo even took this well...
Left- HayStack, Middle- Squish Squash, Right- Sundress on top and Hay Stack Bottom

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 6:22PM
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Just want to say these photos aren't great representations as you know...

Here's another of how they look right now with some sun and kitchen lights...

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 6:29PM
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You should probably post this stuff on one of your own threads. I'm not yelling get offa my lawn; I just mean people following your travails won't see it here.

From what I remember of your inspiration pics, squish squash looks closest, though it is bright.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 7:44PM
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marcolo, I think we will all look back and laugh at our travails someday. Hopefully soon for you. I did laugh at your well done rant and will always see Darth Vader when I see your name!

    Bookmark   July 5, 2012 at 11:41PM
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You always crack me up, marcolo.

Wherever you live, it must not be economically depressed enough. Congratulations! Around here, I think they're pretty desperate, so most places are really helpful while they're trying to sell you something. The upside to the Great Recession.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2012 at 12:07PM
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Angie, was there a story behind your sad face?

    Bookmark   July 6, 2012 at 4:15PM
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iroll: No, I was just being silly posting it on a sweltering 4th of July. I saw your happy face and couldn't resist sharing my sad face. I drew it as a sad face because the knots in the 2x12 I was using formed perfect, sad puppy-dog eyes.

Sweet of you to ask. I am quite happy with the result, in fact:

    Bookmark   July 6, 2012 at 4:45PM
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