Can I just complain?

psyoheJune 25, 2013

I feel the need to vent.....

1. Cabinet guy told us in January that we would be without a kitchen for 2 weeks. It's been over 6 months. We do have partial use, but it is just not finished. Up side, we got the chance to redo island design to add warming drawer and microwave drawer.

2. American Range hybrid wall oven is holding us up anyway. We can't put island in until the ovens work correctly. Electric doesn't work at all and gas oven blows the doors open when it finally lights. I no longer use the ovens due to safety reasons.

3. I have too much time to wish for slabs. ð I can't install backsplash, island, or countertops anyway.

4. Wedding at our house in October. DD thinks it is so much easier to have it here. HA! She is doing all the dreaming, and I am doing all the doing. We also added landscaping work to our "to do" list. We had no plans to spend money on the outside. Money needs to go to the kitchen then windows then bathroom remodels.

5. This is the year I so brilliantly decided I was ready to quit teaching so I could go into administration. I decided in December and didn't know about the issues holding up my remodel. I haven't had any time to look for a job. I only have one more month to find a job.

6. I am just plain tired. Tired of waiting for contractors to show up. Tired of not sleeping. Tired of washing the dogs in the bathtub because I do not have the large sink installed yet. Tired of waiting for delivery drivers who tell me "we'll get there between 8:00and 5:00". They say if you are not there, it will cost you $250.00 to reschedule.

Enough said....but I don't feel better....just discouraged because I have no control and can't fix it.

Peke (Just like Eeyore would say, "thanks for noticing me."


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Holly- Kay

So sorry Peke, big hugs to you.

Yikes blowing the oven doors open sounds scary! It makes me kinda happy I don't have gas (no, not that KIND of gas).

I cannot even imagine being without a fully functioning kitchen for that long. It really is beyond understanding. I think all kichen contractors should have a clause that states "failure to complete said project in the alotted amount of time subjects contractor to intense physical and mental pain, inflicted upon him by the homeowner".

My kitchen was torn out May 20th and I am going nutso already so I know it has to be tough for you. My house has turned into whine central.

You are indeed a brave woman to host a wedding with all the turmoil in your life. Hugs and good thoughts going out to you from a kindred soul.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 7:25PM
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Here is another GW hug for you.
Many of us have been there...
DD wedding - maybe it can still be moved to a neutral location to take the stress off of you.
Good luck on the job hunt...
I left clinical practice about a year ago to teach EMR(Electronic medical record) - then retired but still working...
Hang in there - we are there to listen and support!

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 7:42PM
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whoa... complete sympathy here. The oven blowing the doors just blows my mind. I would not use it at all -- something must be terribly wrong.

I know it must be painful to see people who started their projects after you finish theirs. We've been without a family room for four months, but that is nothing like a kitchen for six. (The dog was running around the first floor with utter unimpeded joy yesterday)

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 7:57PM
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Aw, that is very frustrating. We are going on 9 weeks, I think. We finally have appliances, but not my new Advantium. And no counters. I really don't know why I was stressing about single bowl vs double bowl the moment I think I'd fall in love with ANY sink as long as it was in the kitchen and functional.

Holy cow with the exploding oven!

Hang in there. I know that feeling well. Thank goodness for GW!

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 8:07PM
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Lots of hugs to you! I hope things start going smoothly for you. Who knew that the remodel process would be so frought with delays, problems, etc. Ours has been one delay after the other.

My almost 6 y/o DD said to me today, "I hope we never have to do another kitchen remodel again!" I concur :)

Anyway, hang in there!

This post was edited by rkb21 on Tue, Jun 25, 13 at 20:33

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 8:09PM
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I feel your pain ..we spent the last year redoing our main floor for D'S April wedding...not that we had it here, but for all the family/friends coming in. It needed it, everything was old and falling apart. My son came over 4 days before everyone was arriving, looked around with a horrified look on his face and said "mom, are you gonna get everything done in time?"....well, I did get everything done was midnight the night before! We never did get the backyard landscaping done as planned and no one looked or cared. And the family room furniture was still on back order and the fireplace tile was not finished....I had to not sweat it and just said" oh well." Hang in there!

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 8:19PM
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I feel for you. And my kitchen was started on June 9. Of LAST year. There was always something going on that took time and money away from the project. But the bright spot , well several, I don't have to cook and its pretty handy having the fridge in the living room. Its just a few feet away from the couch= handy for grabbing a beer:-) Don't forget to keep us updated, I really enjoy seeing others process and the final product.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 8:42PM
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Goodness, you poor thing! With everything else going on, you don't need all this frustration with the kitchen. It must be especially annoying after you planned so carefully and tried to do everything you could to make it go well.

Good that you can look on the bright side. Another bright side - DD getting married! Very exciting and happy occasion!

Can you get a little wading pool and wash the dogs outside? It might be easier than bending over a tub. My dog enjoys outside baths in the summer.

Hope things pick up soon.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 9:20PM
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Complain away, that's a long time without a kitchen.

Peke, what does American Range say they will do for you to resolve this problem?

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 9:59PM
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Maybe you could lay in the wading pool with a beer? That's a lonnnng time without a functional kitchen. I'd be doing a bit more than complaining, I think. Hugs to you. Someday (soon) it'll all be a memory....

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 10:23PM
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Hugs, Peke. I hope your issues get resolved soon, and it is all worth the wait!

I hope you and your DD can get through the wedding, no matter what the state of the house project. The most important thing is that they are married at the end of the day!

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 11:10PM
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Lots of hugs! It is indeed miserable!

I went to Arizona Tile this past weekend, and saw rows and rows of slabs in their out door storage area where they used to keep new stocks. Now, every slab has a "sold" or "hold" tag on. No wonderful these contractors are too busy to focus on doing good work.

Hope things will move sooner for you. You are closer to finish line than most people. Hanging here.

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 11:13PM
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Yes, please do vent away !! You will find lots of sympathy here. : )

    Bookmark   June 25, 2013 at 11:22PM
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I hate not having the ability to fix things. I hate waiting.

TWO loads of dirt. What were we thinking? Maybe that if we didn't get both, then we would never order the 2nd one. It is almost all moved. Sod is on the hill and grass seed goes down tomorrow in the back yard. Just have one small area to build up the dirt and put blocks around.

American issues. I have been posting those on the appliance forum in case it helps someone else. It has only blown the doors open (not really open) 3-4 times, but I watch it carefully now. I make sure I see the flames before I open the doors. I try not to use the oven at all. I have the french doors so the whoosh sort of pops them open a little then they reclose. One day I heard the whoosh and looked up to see orange fire ball in the oven. I seldom use the oven. AR said they will do whatever it takes to fix the problems, but geez, shouldn't a brand new expensive oven leave the factory working correctly? They even said they would replace it....with what...another new one that does the same thing?

The sad thing is I live lakefront and have an old pontoon boat that hasn't been used for over a year. We start it every once in a while. It took me 3 weeks to get the pH straight in the pool. It kept storming during May and June. Tornadoes...hail...straight-line winds. Kept messing up my pool water. Now it is too hot to go in the pool after being in the 90 degree heat while shoveling dirt all morning. Who wants more sun? But the dirt is almost done! Woo too!

For the first time ever, I pulled a frog's partial skeleton out of the skimmer basket. Where did the rest of him go?

I do not want to know. Eeyore... I mean Peke.

This post was edited by Peke on Sat, Aug 31, 13 at 2:18

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 12:07AM
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This post was edited by Peke on Sat, Aug 31, 13 at 2:29

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 12:10AM
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How did it post twice?

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 12:11AM
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Here's another hug your way. My kitchen is not completely tore up but most everything is not where they are supposed to be and it's driving me nuts! To think that it's not even 2 months yet.

Is it time to call the Super Sleuths? ;-)

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 12:27AM
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Ouch. I certainly hope that you have withheld funds from all of the contractors who have not shown up. They have not done the job and should not get paid. I would also be raising the roof on your appliance installers, place of purchase and the manufacturer about the ovens - that's just not safe.

Hope things get remarkably better for you.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 1:14AM
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Here is a margarita with an extra shot to you virtually. I wish you patience and persistance to nag and get this done. I am in the same boat as you but we started our remodel 18 months ago. Agreed it was whole house rebuild but I signed the contract with the cabinet maker last June and I still don't have the panels for the appliances or glass in the door. The hinges are all wrong and doors bang into the hood. I am trying to keep calm and focus on the finish line but it is difficult. Oh did I mention that the electrician has not showed up at all for fixing the electric floor heat or the plumber for the dishwasher install. It feels good to get a bit of this off the chest.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 2:33AM
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Peke, rather than respond to future sil's specific suggestions/requests you could subtly teach him by answering exactly the same way every time, something like: "we are going to do what we can, we want it to be lovely for your wedding". I doubt they have any clue as to how tiring being owned by a house is - let alone a house under renovation.
If you are too tired and busy at the end of the day to enjoy your pool, or a margarita, perhaps you can change things around and "eat dessert first"? Do something nice for "Eeyore" and then tell us about it, please?
Posts hit twice when we push the submit button and nothing happens for a second or two, so we hit it again. I did several in a row one day.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 6:43AM
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I'd say you have good reason to complain :) We just had our son's wedding and I can not imagine having had it here, that would have been too much with his expectations (but lack of The good thing is, the wedding will happen whether you are totally ready or not and the majority of people won't care if your house is in perfect shape. those that are critical aren't worth worrying about anyway! I hope the oven gets sorted out, so silly to not be able to use a brand new oven. Hugs sent your way :) Totally agree with kksmama about making sure your sil is aware that you are doing this for HIS not yours!

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 7:28AM
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Sophie Wheeler

Hand SIL a shovel and point him in the direction of the dirt pile. And have a sit down with the couple with a list of the things that you'd like to have accomplished by the wedding and ask them to pick the half that they will be responsible for-----either directly by DIYing or paying a contractor to do. Or sit them down and tell them as much as you'd love to host the wedding, it will just be too much work for you and let's look at another venue close by.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 7:36AM
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HUGS!!!!! I can relate. I just drove home to OH by myself from FL. I am overwhelmed and am just starting! I feel like the next few months will be torture, until it's all done. For some reason a line from "Animal House" comes to mind..."Please sir, may I have another!" I feel like there is no such thing as a smooth renovation.

As for your situation... I love what hollysprings suggested. "We teach others how to treat us..." October is still a ways away, but will be here before you know it. The blissful couple will just be getting more stressed and adding their stress to you. I say have a big talk now. Start with "You know how much I love you..." Tell them you are stressed and at your wits end. Ask for their help in coming up with a detailed plan that involves a team effort and more support from them.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 9:24AM
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DIY, only thing paid for in advance are appliances that don't work. Ice maker in fridge only makes about 6 batches of ice per day.

GW, you need virtual margaritas too. It's just the idea that we can't motivate them to clean up the details. Cabinet doors bumping into hoods and wrong hinges.....the little things just add up. I just don't get why some people can't finish the detail work. I hate staying on them to get it done.

Our best contractor is our heat/ac/plumber. He came out at a moment's notice when we were without heat or a/c or had a leak. But "finish work" is not his strong suit either. We had our two new heat/ac units installed last June and he still hasn't installed the ceiling registers. Still gaping holes in the ceiling. I text him once a week. I even told him I was going to kidnap his first born child (teenager that attends my school) and trade her for the registers. He just said, "No take backs. She is yours now." You can see why he is my favorite. He has my sense of humor. I told him two years ago when we bought the house and he was trying to keep our two dinosaur heat/ac units going, that I would be paying for his kids college education. He just gets too busy to remember the registers. I wish everyone could have such a good contractor. He doesn't even charge us full price even with me telling him he should. Seriously, he charged us $25.00 an hour for plumbing work the other day and even stayed longer off the clock to help put the 624 lb oven in. No charge. Only one person made sure he charged us for waiting and helping lift the oven...the electrician. Six men lifted it and he was the only one who charged us for it. That was nice of the others though. Good guys!


This post was edited by Peke on Sat, Aug 31, 13 at 2:40

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 9:31AM
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Back to work for me. I just need one of those Jetsons houses where you push a button and everything is done. This is my fifth remodel and I hope it is the last. Peke

This post was edited by Peke on Sat, Aug 31, 13 at 2:43

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 9:45AM
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Wow, the selfishness is impressive. I'm sorry to hear this and hope it resolves for you.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 10:57AM
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Peke, look at it this way. You will soon be related to royalty. Your daughter is marrying a prince.

My motto in these times (and I won't even get started on a two year death and disaster saga) is to just power through. I try to view it as a phase that will eventually be over. The little triumphs along the way are getting things done, however glacial the pace might be.

As long as everyone is healthy, the job is 80% done. But big hugs to you. Been there and know that tired feeling.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 11:35AM
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Peke. Virtual hugs from my two year old and me.

Ahem I am 30 and do the hard work. I always came home from school and mowed, cleaned the house, and made dinner. My sisters on the other hand wouldnt even help if I paid them. I chose to spend my childhood summers with my now 90 year old grandma while they stayed with my parents. Maybe that is where the difference comes from.

DH and I also didn't want our parents to pay for our wedding, and we wanted to save all of our cash to buy a house. I went and found a judge (she was super cool and didn't say any of that 'honor and obey' stuff) and paid another $100 to rent a small sunroom at a local arboretum. I also made my own dress.can you tell we're cheap? :). Anyway it was great and cheap. Plus no one really had to do anything because the beautiful fall flowers surrounded the sun room.

Do I remember correctly from the stone threads you are in OK? If you were by Kansas City my kiddo and I would pop over and vet some stuff crossed off your list in no time. I was the kid who went to my friends house and instead of playing I'd.clean or organize a closet. I don't know why, but I just enjoy it. I'm also a pretty tough boss so maybe we could get some action on your other stuff.

My DH was asking me the other day if we should take a vacation. Hmmm. We are a couple of gluttons for punishment. I could tell him you are a relative of mine and need some help. :). Oh the trickery. He likes it though.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 1:25PM
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Hugs!!! I uderstaand....We began reno Jan 2012. I cannot post a reveal because I STILL do not have a cover on the hood chimney! All the other pieces are going to be worn out by the time the hood stuff gets covered. My cabinet company closed their doors when the bank called the note back in no sense calling them to get the finish trim, lol.

That hatred of ALL things reno hit me about 3 months in...I was sick of telling people what I wanted, having them say "are you SURE?",etc.


    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 6:38PM
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How frustrating! And scary! And overwhelming. Hugs and I hope you find that venting here helps. :)

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 6:56PM
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Hi Peke, I'm 38 y/o and male, so maybe about half-way in age between you and your daughter/future SIL. Sorry that your SIL seems like such a dunce. For your DD's sake, I hope he has some wonderful redeeming qualities, because he is certainly getting off on the wrong foot.

I'm actually shocked that invitations have become your responsibility...given all the other things that are on your plate, perhaps you could suggest to DD that you'll use eVite or a similar service, or if she would prefer something else she can take charge.

At any rate, I know helpful advice is easier to give than implement, so I'll just say sorry to hear about your perfect storm around your remodel. I'm sure in a year or two, you'll look back and laugh, hopefully over a margarita.

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 6:58PM
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Are you concerned that your DD is not more involved in the wedding planning and wanting to be more involved in the details? That seems underwhelming. Do they even have the guest list figured out?

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 7:10PM
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Peke...I have 4 great kids, who act in ways I don't always understand and it drives me insane. I do think its a generational thing and perhaps we all drove our parents nuts too. I hope for your sake that your thoughts about future sil improve. That is not fun and he is being an inconsiderate idiot behaving the way he is. I hope that you manage to prioritize your needs amongst all this stress!

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 7:57PM
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How frustrating! And scary! And overwhelming. Hugs and I hope you find that venting here helps. :)

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 8:25PM
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Rococo, explain the name, please.....

Iowa, you are like me. You see something that needs done and you do it. Maybe you have an old soul. I had a fifth grade student last year. She is just like us.....whatever it is.
And no your not cheap. You had your priorities. ðÂÂÂ

Springroz, I guess I am due for a meltdown then....I can't believe your bad luck with the cabinets company. Are they going to fix it?

Kittens, it sure does.

This post was edited by Peke on Sat, Aug 31, 13 at 2:47

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 8:32PM
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GW, I know it is crazy. She will get to it...she says. I think it will catch her unawares. Then she will panic. SIL is more concerned about the wedding and has lights, sound system, all planned.
They do have the guest list!

Ali, I think some of it is that my DD is still being a "daughter". I raised her to be independent, but I had to push her out of the nest for college an hour away. She knows she can count on me to get things done. I could just let her do her own pace. What gets done...gets done.

Feeling better....not so overwhelmed. ðÂÂÂ
Thanks doctors !

Next patient??????? peke

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 8:48PM
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Peke, my kids are the same, they are used to me solving problems and I'm their go to person if they need answers. I just don't recall wanting to not be independent and responsible for my own stuff. They watch me help my mom do things, but so far the follow through for them to do the same hasn't happened. Nothing wrong with letting your daughter go at her own long as you don't feel stressed about it! Glad you are feeling a bit better about things!

    Bookmark   June 26, 2013 at 9:06PM
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Hi Peke,

I don't know how to say this politely, so I'll just let my paranoid self hang out. I hope there is no way your future SIL and DD can ever find themselves mentioned here. That sure won't help your future relationship.


    Bookmark   June 27, 2013 at 5:43PM
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peke -- by name you mean my handle?

    Bookmark   June 27, 2013 at 6:04PM
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Has your DD seen her future husband in these situations? Maybe she should rethink the big wedding. Trust me, family issues don't get any better with time or more stress. could be much worse! Be thankful for what you have and remember...your problems might be 'a walk in the park' compared to someone else's. I get reminded of this every once in a while, when I start feeling sorry for myself :)

    Bookmark   June 27, 2013 at 6:22PM
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Rococo, yes your handle. Just curious.

JJ I haven't mentioned anyone by name and what will be will be.

Lavender lass, love that handle too. He is a super dad and extremely good to my DD. I think he is a perfect match for her, and that is what counts.

He texted me to tell me he is spending a week with us with his daughter next week. He asked permission a month ago. I think since he will be here a week, he will jump right in and them two of us will get a lot done.

SIL is not really a was just an annoyance on top of frustration from cabinets still not being finished since we started in January. We are totally stopped in the remodel.

I turned my attention from the wedding and remodel. Now I am concentrating mostly on me. Things are getting done. My old classroom is getting emptied and I am going through teacher junk. Everything is getting organized.
All is well with the world. Peke

    Bookmark   June 28, 2013 at 8:39AM
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HI Peke - I asked about your ovens in another thread - yikes!!! Ignore my question!!! Sorry to hear your tale of woes. It seems like when it rains it pours, but it sounds like you are in better spirits and have put everything in perspective. Hopefully by Oct this will all be a faded memory.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2013 at 12:58AM
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