Totally OT but too funny

Holly- KayJune 18, 2013

On a rainy dreary day like this, and after surviving melt down # 568 over my kitchen reno. I was on the home decorating forum where Bee posted a blog by Victoria Elizabeth. If you need a laugh, do go and check it out. I am at work and holy cow so glad no one walked into my shop while i was reading it!

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CAGiselle

I'm still laughing. Absolutely hysterical! Thanks for sharing. You made my day!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 5:23PM
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Holly- Kay

You are very welcome! It made my day too and as they say "laughter is the best medicine".

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:02PM
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kksmama

Uh oh. I read this while my family was around...and of course dh had to know what I was laughing about. So now he wonders if I should really spend so much time on GW.... as if he was the one who made such decisions

Here is a link that might be useful: wait for a private moment!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:10PM
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Holly- Kay

I knew I shouldn't read it at work but I literally could not help myself!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:14PM
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rkb21

Loved it! Thanks for sharing the laughs.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:25PM
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Holly- Kay

KKSmama, thank you so much for linking it here. I didn't know how to do it.

RK we all need a good laugh in the midst of our renos.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:34PM
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amharris

What a funny, awesome story! Thanks Holly-Kay!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:39PM
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williamsem

I was laughing so hard 2/3 through I almost couldn't finish! It reminds me so much if me and DH, and now i have a new perspective on how DH must see things.

I somehow missed that this GW'er had an awesome blog. She posted not long ago about ideas for the powder room in the confused addition. I must read some more...

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 8:42PM
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Holly- Kay

Victoria Elizabeth really should write a book. She tells a story so well.

You are very welcome Anne. I was so glad that Bee shared this over in the decorating forum and I knew my kitchen buddies would enjoy it too.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 9:01PM
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cathy725

It is SOOOO good she is not married to my husband or there would be just no way to fit all their treasures in one structure!!! This hit so close to home I think they must be cosmically related.

Did I mention we have two 4' tall training bombs (never were real, just fake for training) that are painted light blue? I bet she doesn't have two blue bombs (picture the ones that hang off the wings of WWII bomber planes). But we don't have a 12' kingdom mirror either!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:12PM
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deedles

"And I was like�"look at me. Look me in the eye. Do you really believe I am leaving here without this? Because IâÂÂm not."

So funny that I've said exactly that to my DH more than a couple times over the years. That was good, thanks for posting the link.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:29PM
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Holly- Kay

Oh my gosh Cathy, bombs? Lol. My DH just has tons of Studebaker parts.

Deedles, would love to be a fly on the wall during shopping trips with your DH!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:39PM
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momtofour

That was FABULOUS! I laughed until I thought I was going to faint from lack of oxygen.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:47PM
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j_hack

I just bookmarked this. OMG it is freaking hilarious. And I am pretty sure it is even better the more you read it. I am having my wife read this tomorrow since she is in bed already. Thanks for the laugh!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:50PM
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leela4

My favorite part : ''But now I see it as a stage in the Kübler-Ross model of acceptance.''

I really like that.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 10:59PM
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williamsem

Had DH read this just now. He said "she's just as crazy as you!"

I love the part at the beginning about reaching your quota and pretending he's making that decision. Just last week I was told "no more projects!" For an undetermined amount of time. But seriously, I have a brand new Milwaukee drill set to break in, so yeah, that's not happening!

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 11:13PM
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ginagordon_gw

I love that fact that she has more than one kingdom mirror, there is a smaller one in the other space. which means she got her husband to go "look at something" more than once. priceless.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 11:22PM
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Holly- Kay

I agree Gina. I loved her smaller kingdom mirror too.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 11:57PM
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Holly- Kay

I agree Gina. I loved her smaller kingdom mirror too.

    Bookmark   June 18, 2013 at 11:58PM
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steph2000

Wow, I had the most enjoyable night surfing through her blog. She is clever and fun and I love her wit.

She also is refreshingly open and authentic about the dynamics of her marriage (and herself) and how these intersect the remodeling process.

Perhaps my favorite "line" (okay, it's more like a mini-diatribe than a line) is in her post about staining the porch floor, in which she alleges she and her husband tried to kill each other:

"There is something about Paul where he thinks that if he goes crazy first, he gets first dibs on it. And there will be none left for me. And I will be forced to take Option B - agreeing with him and slinking away quietly to appease his bad mood.

WHY after EIGHT years of marriage he STILL thinks this is BEYOND me.

I will see your bad mood. And I will raise it. And then I will steal all your cards and all your chips. And I will get you kicked out of the casino. And then I will go to the Chanel boutique and buy a new handbag. So LOOK OUT.

Instead, I said "do whatever you want". And walked away.

And I realized this: I have come so far. Even a year ago, I would have been ENRAGED at the suggestion of using a subpar color/product/stain/paint shade/sofa/toilet paper holder. But now? I donâÂÂt care.

This house has killed my aesthetic martyr."

This post was edited by Steph2000 on Wed, Jun 19, 13 at 14:07

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 3:38AM
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a2gemini

That is so funny!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 5:00AM
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katy-lou

Thank you that was hilarious!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 10:31AM
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mpagmom

I sent this post and the one about the wardrobe to my husband so he'd realize how truly low-maintenance I am.

Thanks for sharing (and it's not OT because she mentions a kitchen).

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 10:40AM
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Holly- Kay

Lol Mpag, yes she sure did.

Steph I could only wish to have a friend like Victoria Elizabeth....Oh wait... I actually do have a friend who is THAT funny.

I have done a CL mirror as well...certainly nowhere as cool as a kingdom mirror and I didn't have to pick it up, the gal selling it delivered it to me and we about killed ourselves getting it out of her truck. It is still propped against the wall in the garage of our home as it will take two burly men to hang the darn thing. They just don't make mirrors like that anymore.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 12:31PM
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steph2000

Yeah, everyone needs at least one friend that hysterical. Perhaps fortunately, I don't have the walls or ceiling height for a kingdom mirror, but egads, what a story.

She has a hysterical post on picking paint color for the shutters and front door that I think a lot of us can likely relate to.

I keep trying to get my partner to listen to bits and parts. He is extremely avoidant about doing so...and slipped out his real concern, which is that I am going to feel vindicated, empowered and validated by this woman, leading me to double down on my role as "project stoppage order person". lol

There are dynamics in that marriage that resemble my own relationship...and my own indecisive, over-researching self...

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 12:55PM
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Holly- Kay

Me too Steph! I can so relate to what you said.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 1:58PM
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steph2000

My aunt taught me in my 30's that if you are going to be high maintenance, you best know how to make it FUN and get people on board with your madness.

She either does it better than me.

Or, my partner is much more interested in sating her eccentric, over-the-top, zany, high maintenance needs than mine. Watching him buy into her quest to find THE perfect Diet Coke (has to be from a fountain, but a clean fountain, has to have a lot of ice, but not TOO much ice, has to be good ice, of course, not bad ice, etc, etc, etc...) in Alaska was something else! Much fun, with a wee bit of envy mixed in. lol

Victoria Martin seems to have it down. At least with her audience. Reading between the lines, her husband seems similarly unamused as my partner with our quirky selves. ;)

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 2:12PM
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Angie_DIY

Leela had it right. "A stage in the Kübler-Ross model of acceptance" was the money line out of many worthy contenders!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2013 at 10:39PM
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