Craigslist - but not furniture this time
If I didn't read it I'd never believe it. This has to be a joke - doesn't it? Part time, 10 hrs/wk but 24/7 tethered. I think she really needs a Geisha.
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Personal Assistant - Errands, Phone Calls, Office Support (Edgewater)
Date: 2012-08-31, 12:57AM CDT
Reply to this post firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
You will be the personal assistant for a busy, 40-something female entrepreneur who works from home and has a hectic travel schedule. She also has a very demanding - while also polite and kind - personal demeanor, which you must get along well with. Mostly that is accomplished by being highly competent, and highly intelligent!
You must have a car, cell phone, and desktop internet access - all of which must be accessible to you 24/7. The job is only 10 hours per week (give or take), but flexibility is important, as is the ability to complete tasks on short notice. Your new employer's working hours are roughly from 8am - midnight, 7 days a week. If you have specific set times you're not available within those times, that can be accommodated - if you are in other ways the ideal candidate.
Your job is to make your employer's life easier, by handling all the details of her life that are annoying, repetitive, frustrating or otherwise potentially stress-inducing. For example:
* Book her flights, hotels and rental cars and put them on her calendar - accurately, and in the precise formatting she requires
* Book her limo driver as needed - and ensure that he understands her expectations of him
* Run errands - dry cleaners, FedEx, Trader Joe's, etc
* Keep her home kitchen stocked with supplements, protein powder and a few key grocery items like soy milk, fresh spinach, berries, etc.
* Fix problems with her technology (hardware and software) as they arise - HTC Evo, Skype, MiFi, iTunes, Dropbox, Google Docs, Evernote, Roku (If you aren't well familiar with any of these specific tools, don't bother to apply)
* Return products she's purchased and doesn't want - online and to retail stores
* Hassle with service providers whenever there's a billing or service interruption issue (AT&T, Comcast, Sprint, Verizon ... Yes, she has accounts with all of them)
* Keep an eye on maintaining her household - oversee the cleaning lady, notice & replace burned-out lightbulbs, schedule routine maintenance like carpet cleaning, water her plants when she's out of town
* Pack & unpack her luggage for her frequent trips - including doing the laundry as needed and keeping her closet tidy
* Book personal appointments, and quickly learn her schedule of personal maintenance - so that when she notices, for example, that it's time to get her roots touched up you've already got the appointment booked
* Light office work for her business - scanning business cards, perhaps some social media correspondence, telephone calls.
* Light "cooking" - mostly this means chopping vegetables for salad
Much of the work you'll be expected to do from home. But you will also need to come to your employer's house at least once a week, and always the day she comes home from a trip (or the next morning, if she comes home very late) - to assist with luggage, laundry, paperwork, making sure there's fresh food in the house, etc etc etc.
Your personal qualifications must include:
* Above average intelligence, and the ability to communicate articulately both in writing and verbally
* Honesty and trustworthiness - the right candidate must prove, as part of the application process, that your new employer can entrust you with her personal passwords for her various accounts
* An attitude of humble servitude - your job is to wait on your employer, accommodate her needs and desires, and make her life easier. And you must take pleasure in being able to do these things, and thus in turn make her happy.
* Good taste. Your employer may ask you to shop for her - pick up a new jacket, buy something for the house, etc. She must be able to trust that your selections will please her even more than her own would.
* Cheerful, optimistic personality - no whiners, victims or sourpusses
* Speed and efficiency in all things
* Organized, detail-oriented, no ADD or ADD-like symptoms! Your employer will send you off-the-cuff directions via email and text, and you'll be expected to write everything down and track your progress toward each task, giving her periodic updates throughout the week.
* No need for praise. While your new employer is gracious and appreciative of a job well done, she will not be spending any of her time or energy stroking your ego.
* No need for personal chit chat. Your new employer isn't cold, but she doesn't want to know about your kids or your home life.
* Thick skin when it comes to accepting criticism. If you screw up, you're gonna hear about it. And your appropriate response is to apologize, accept responsibility for what you did wrong, ask questions to make sure you understand exactly what you did wrong, and how to do it properly next time!
Send an email that is 250 words or less, and which addresses all the requirements listed in this posting. Make sure to inject your personality - we might as well get it out in the open now if you and your new employer aren't going to like each other! The object is to write your application in such a way that your new employer feels totally certain that you can handle everything that is required. If she likes you after 250 words, you'll hear back from us and you'll get the chance to shine even more.
Applicants with disabilities, please note: If you're able to fulfill these job requirements with excellence, then please apply. If not, don't.
Compensation: $12/hr to start. Bonuses and pay increases as you prove yourself worthy.
This is a part-time job.
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