How we have been :-)
Ok I've been lurking and not writing much, but it's so nice you guys ask how we are! The reason I haven't posted much is because I didn't have anything nice to report on the stepfamily situation, and if you have nothing nice to say..
It's not all doom and gloom though, plenty other good stuff has happened:
-FDH and I have been on a big trip to Europe which was absolutely amazing. I've lived there most of my life, but FDH had never left Australia before so it was a big deal. My family has been over here several times so everyone already knew eachother, that was good too: no awkwardness.
-After the big trip he decided he didn't need to put up with his moody boss any longer so he started looking for another job, found one soon after and decided to enrol in a course as well. I'm so happy for him!
-I've changed my lifestyle to a more healthy one and it's incredible how much better I feel because of it. Not that I was so unhappy/unhealthy before, but it's just amazing how big a difference more exercise makes. We eat pretty healthy and I refuse to give up chocolate :-) but I go for a run more often and I do pilates. Add some more fruit to the list, and presto!
-Our doggieboy has been limping for a long time and we always thought it was because of arthritis in his hip so not much we could do to help him, although we tried what we could. Turns out his knee ligament was partly torn but the vet had not picked it up before, until it got so bad we had X Rays taken. He's had surgery and is now recovering. I'm looking forward to being able to take him out for plenty walks again, without the pain he's had for so long! We just love our boy to bits!
About the skids:
SD13 is not coming to stay with us anymore, BM has always tried to keep SD there, interrupted the visits, phoned SD constantly when she was with us, given her the guilt trip by crying how lonely she is when SD is not there etc etc. And finally, after years and years of it she has succeeded, SD13 is now staying with BM 100%.
SD15 was always the one to understand and resist BM's pressure a lot better (that's why SD13 is BM's favorite: no resistance there). She's still coming to stay with us EOW, but she's not doing great either. She's hardly going to
school, maybe 1 or 2 days a week, she might as well drop out completely because there's no point really. FDH has had many many meetings with the school staff, for many years, but nothing has helped. Soon SD will turn 16 and then she can drop out legally anyway :-(
All she does is hang around BM's house and chat on the internet till deep into the night pretty much every night, to any stranger who will give her attention. It's beyond ridiculous, but once again: we cannot control what BM allows at her house. So at our place it's a total internet ban now, no chatting to potential pedo's on our computer!
When SD15 comes to our place she's sweet enough, but I'm just not agreeing with anything that is going on so I'm not engaging much with her. Because even though it's BM who is shaping SD this way, I do think that SD has some responsibility herself as well for her own choices. Bumming around, not going to school, not wanting to get a weekend job or something over the holidays (she quit her last job because she feels she needs a break). But what bugs me most is her new 'victim' mentality."It's not her fault she can't go to school, it's because she had a headache!And that is because other people stress her out, she can't help it! "(But that same day she can be on the internet, tweeting about how much fun she's having and later on go out to dinner with the whole family, you know what I mean?).
I have always tried to stay clear from saying things like: "SD is just like her mom when she does this or that" because all too often when parents have separated the negative traits of a child get conveniently blamed on the other parent. But for once I'll make an exception because SD is not learning this victim-mentality from us. She's developing an attitude of not being responsible for her own behavior.
I'm really worried about her because I think she'll drop out of school next year and become a couch potato. Too lazy to work or too good for the type of jobs she will have to choose from due to her lack of education. What a future she's got ahead of her...