Being an Adult step mom
4 years ago i met the man of my dreams. I never planned on falling in love again but i did. I feel like God brought this man into my life and will think that tell the day i die. He was very funny he made me laff all the time and we would talk for hours. My husband lost his wife in an accident it will be 5 years pretty soon. I have never been a step mom. I am a mom but never a step. I fell deeply in love with my husband he was married for 33 years. and thats why i have been so understanding or have tryed to be. I have never lost a life partner in the way he has. but i have lost a mother and i know what that feels like. When i met my husband i use to be nice :) now i find myself being alot tuffer my heart i guess. When my husband calls me the wrong name does it hurt yes but i tell myself in time . I moved to my husbands home where he shared his life with his wife. There are photos on the living room wall of there life. and there are a few of us. Part of me wants them down but then another part of me says you cant ask him to forget the life he had. the photos are apart of his memories. and he has a right to them. My husband is a great man. but when it comes to his kids he is very defensive of them. The day my husband took me to meet his adult kids i first met his son. he was very nice to me i was so glad and yet scared because it was importaint to me for them to like me because i really loved there father. Then it was on to the next daughter its his step daughter but he raised her most of her life.. so she is his daughter. when we got there my husband interduced me to his son in law and daughter my son in law said if you dont have a sence of humor you wont make it in this family. i just laughed i didnt no what to say. his grandaughter wispered something in my ear for the life of me i dont recall what it was but i do remember it being very nice. after awhile i went back home. I dont recall how many days had went by but my husband asked me to come visit with him again at his daughters house and i did it was for a few days.. my husband was working in the trailer he has a trailer there for his bussiness. i was in the house wanting to get to know his adult kids. i was sitting on the couch and his daughter and son in law were by the fire place i had told his daughter that i was sorry about her mom and that i wasnt here to take her place but that i would like for us to be friends the son in law said they throught i should get a job making my own money that i was reaping the rewards of there mothers death and that they didnt think it was right that my soon to be husband was making my car payments. I had cleaned there home after a few visits living room kitchen and laundry...they pointed out that they didnt care for me doing this because they didnt no me. he also said they blame my husband for there mothers death because she was on her way to do taxes.wasnt his fault. I went out to the trailer and i told my husband only about the part where they felt i should get a job. because if i had told him the rest im sure it would have hurt him. he talked to his son in law the next day and the son in law said that i misunderstood him.. I didnt. Im not sure if my husband believed me or not but i no what was said and i didnt misunderstand. I got married and it was so nice thats when i met his other daughter. She didnt talk to me much but i understood here is another woman in her dads life. the following day we were at my husbands home and his youngest daughter kept going into the house just acting really funny. after she left she had taking something that didnt belong to her it was her fathers. when he called her on it she denied it but he new. it turned out that his youngest daughter who is 25 is addicited to precription drugs along with his son. Did i no this no. But i loved my husband and was going to stand by him and try to also help his adult kids. the only thing i could do was lisen and i did over and over. Tryed to give advise nothing worked. when his son got busted in ca for drugs i went and got him out and got his truck out of the tow yard. when his grandson wanted a new car my husband got him it i drove 5 hours to pick the truck up and came back the same day. I one day asked his son how many cars has your dad bought for you he said 38. yes 38..he is 31..the last car he took out and set it on fire and tryed to do an insurance claim on it. didnt work..they got money from there mothers death so he got another truck with his money and its gone because someone kidnapped him and took his truck. he stole money from his father and stole money from people my husband knows he also stole this ladys medicine for canser and he lied about not taking it. then he finily admitted he took it. she got it back but not all of it. I could go on and on here. here are more of the things that have been said to me.well maybe i shouldnt. but i will tell you that everyone of his kids talk bad things about him to me then say if i say anything they will deny it. i cant talk to my husband about it because he is very defencsive of anything that comes to his kids.He talks alot with his step daughter he tells her everything sometimes i think its because she reminds him of his wife. sometimes i wish he would come to me the way he does to her. anytime these kids want anything they play on his feelings and he feels bad because they dont have there mom anymore. well let me tell you. when my mom died it didnt give me the right to be rude to others. everyone has lost someone in life.How does one deal with all of this im not sure but i am trying. but i dont like all the drama. i just want to love my husband for the rest of what ever life has left for us.