Disciplining my stepson
I need help desperately.
I have a 6 year old stepson. His father and I aren't married, but we live together so I don't know what other label applies. So to me, he's my stepson.
I love this little boy tremendously, and I'll call him 'Ethan'.
Ethan hasn't had a typical childhood, and there are numerous reasons, events for why Ethan has the behavior he has.
Last night I made the decision to stop disciplining Ethan for the time being. It isn't working.
Ethan physically attacks me, screams profanity, and threatens to stab or shoot me. Yes, all HUGE indicators this child needs emotional and psychological help. We are in the process of doing that.
My question is: If I am not going to discipline Ethan, how do I handle the issues that arise when his father isn't home?
I pick Ethan up after work, along with my own children and his father doesn't get home until 2 hours later.
I don't want to put his father in the position of as soon as he hits the door he's dealing with discipline issues. That will cause even more stress in our relationship and further resentment from Ethan. Also, I believe if he does something and it isn't addressed until hours later, the consequence will feel out of place. Since Ethan has likely forgotten that he got in trouble to begin with. Plus, if the behavior is bad enough to warrant a consequence, I think the 'message' of acting appropriately is somewhat lost.
I'm really lost on this. I need some guidance while we're finding a professional to help us get to the root of the issue.