I mentioned before that SS has been struggling academically.
Over the weekend, DH found out from BM (*she called him and said SS had been having issues and she needed to talk to him)that it's been getting into the behavioral area, as well.
I guess the last two Mondays she has had him, he's come home from school with a note from the teacher and a request that he write an apology note to another student.
I guess he's been acting out, saying hurtful things, etc.
This is SO not my SS. He is normally a sweet, good natured little boy; he struggles with self confidence issues, but he is never one to be mean. If anything, I think he is exceptionally gentle and tender towards others.
For once, BM and DH were able to have a conversation geared towards SS's best interest. I think everyone is in agreement that he's struggling academically and acting out because of THAT.
Finally everyone is on board and wants a solution.
I talked with DH later and gave my input. I suggested we get him an assignment notebook and request that his teacher take 5 mins at the end of each day to go over it with him. A BIG problem is that he seems pretty unaware of assignments/tests, etc.
It's fairly easy to keep track of his work because everything just stays in his backpack---which goes back and forth between homes with him. BUT he is not good about remembering what assignments he has, even though the weekly ones are the same every week.. I hate to say this but he really seems clueless about whatever is going on in class.
Okay, so first step---assignment notebook.
Second step---DH set up a conference with the teacher and I guess BM will be going, too which is good.
But here's what got me: DH talked to BM last night and she flat out admitted that sHE---because her hubby has been working out of town---does not have TIME to help SS with his homework. IE---he has a weekly math packet that comes home on Monday, due the following Monday.
In the past, BM has done a page with him on Mon/Tues nights, then I usually help him with a page on Wed/THurs nights and then it's done.
Same thing with spelling words----I review with him and BM reviews with him.
Before everyone jumps on DH, I will just say---he works a lot. He tries to be home around 6ish on our days with SS, but it's not always possible; he does the best he can. Even so, I don't feel it's fair for him to walk in the door and have to deal with stuff. I try to keep things as calm and even as possible---I like the kids to have their homework done by the time DH gets home, so the night can be less stressful and more spent as a family.
Okay, so BM tells DH last night that, with the 3 yr old and the baby and her husband working out of town, she just does NOT have time to help SS with this weekly assignments. She said she can't do it and is not even going to try, anymore, because it is "too much."
Then she asks DH if "love could do it with him instead?'
Boy, I cannot even tell you how much this chaps my @$$ to hear. I am NOT a tutor or babysitter for HER, first of all. Me helping SS on our days is my responsiblity and help to MY husband. because HE is the breadwinner.
I am fine with that.
But for BM to pretty much wash her hands of this and pass it off on me just....gets under my skin!
It was HER decision to have two more babies, whom she and her DH cannot afford. Her decision (well, and her hubby's) to have him get an apartment in another city for work.
I'm sympathetic to her situation but this is NOT a short term situation and I resent BM having no qualms about asking that I pick up HER slack.
Again---I do not mind helping SS or helping DH--and I do. But the way she said and requested this just...ughhhh!
I NEEDED TO VENT.
But am I *allowed* to volunteer at SS's school? NO. That is encroaching on her territory. Allowed to be at his class holiday party? Good heavens, no.
Thanks for reading. I really needed to get that off my chest.