Caring about bm's feelings....NO WAY!
So BM has not seen the kids since her parents were here for a visit in August. She called once, in Sept. to make plans to see sd to take him bday shopping and have a party for him. THe big day came and no bm. I texted her that night and got the usual lies and excuses. She never contacted the kids after. BM's parents contacted me about the kids and Christmas gift ideas. I gave them some and asked if bm is still in the area and told them the details of her little contact with the kids since they left.
Next day bm texts me about wanting Christmas ideas for the kids. I text her back that I am surprised to hear from her after all this time. She texts back hours later about working a lot, problems with bf, and the usual list of excuses. Then she asks if I can get her a list or if she should use ideas from her parents list. I tell her I will get her ideas.
Next day the grandma texts me about some Christmas stuff. I let her know bm texted about it too. She says bm knows she messed up but they are glad she is contacting hte kids. I tell her bm never contacted the kids. Grandma says that bm is scared of sd's reactions to her. I was thinking BM should be!!! Well later that night bm texts older sd with a bunch of I love you bs and congrats on making the volleyball team. She then texts middle sd about congrats on her reportcard (from over a month ago) and all the love you bs. Both girls come to me and dh angry with bm over the lovey texts when she never lives up to her promises of being around. Middle sd starts sobbing about how much she misses bm and why doesn't bm care about her and stick around!
It was heartbreaking. I got on dh about it and said he needs to get on bm and let her know this in and out crap needs to end because it is destroying her kids. Its not fair to watch this cycle she puts them through. So he texts her and tells her how selfish she is and that he hopes she eased her conscience and got her parents off her back because she is destroying her kids! He told her of the sobbing and told her it is pathetic that her parents have to be told what a deadbeat she is for her to make contact with her kids.
BM never responded but my dh missed a call from her parents home later. No message and he has not called them back yet. HE says they are probably going to give him crap about the text and how hard bm has it. Now he is crabby and telling me that I should not have had him text all that because now he has to deal with her parents. I told him the kids are not toys bm can take off the shelf and play with till she gets bored and then she can toss them aside.
Why is everyone so worried about bm's feelings?? She obviously couldn't care less about her kids!