Insensitive, thoughtless and rude.
I thought that I would share something I consider to be thoughtless and rude that was just done to me by my DH, who obviously condones his DD's 25 behavior because he participated in this rudeness. My mom passed away two days ago. It was a long time coming, she ways very ill, and had been in and out of hospice a few times. It was actually a blessing and as sad as it was, I was able to witness her the her last breaths and passing. There was so much love in that room, that I was able to look beyond the event that happened to me (her death) and see the beauty in her transition. It was one of the most powerful and wonderful experiences of my life and I shall cherish it forever. Although, I am now sad and I am trying to focus on the good part.
My DH contacted his DD 25 by email to tell her that I lost my mom and to give her the info about the services. He told her it was fine if she did not attend. She sent him a reply and this is what it says, "OK thanks" (about attending the services). "Give Geri my condolences". He forwarded me her response so I would not think she was rude and uncaring!!
Call me Thurman, but that is one of the F-ing rudest things I have ever experienced. Shame on both of them. Her for thinking it is appropriate to say I am sorry via another person. And him for being such a boob to not know enough to tell her, you know DD25, you're an adult and Geri has been in your life a long time and she always been thoughtful to you and done nice things for you. Perhaps you should tell her personally or send her a card.
I'd give anything to give those two a piece of my mind right now, but I know that I need to never comment on this EVER. If I wasn't feeling badly enough, and actually my mom's death is the best thing to happen for both her and me because I was her caregiver, I am now P.O.ed, which is at least an emotion different from grief, but still.
Now you may be thinking that she may still personally contact me or send a card to acknowledge my loss, but I know she won't. This is how she thanks me for gifts - through her dad. I've told him in the past that she is an adult and she shouldn't be telling him to thank me for her - that it is RUDE. He of course became very defensive when I mentioned the thank you, so this I why I will keep my yapper shut.
Should I be wrong and she actually does send a card or personally says that she is sorry, I will let you know, but I won't hold my breath. This is the type of behavior that really makes SP feel like they are just nothing but fools, chattel and mats upon which to wipe one's feet. I am disgusted with both of them.