Step-daughter Bipolar

imamom2December 7, 2008

I have a 23 yr old stepdaughter who my husband says is bipolar. She has 3 kids 5, 4 and 12 months. Just found out she is pregnant with her 4th child. She is very promiscuous, and she does not know who this child belongs to. She has had a live in boyfriend and he is the father of the 4yr old and hopefully the 12 mo. She had left him over the summer and moved in with another guy and found out she was pregnant. My husband and myself had custody of the 5yr old and she got mad at me and took her back. I am very worried about these children, and my SD. My husband says there is nothing he or her mother can do about the things she does, that she is grown. Anybody have any advice on what to do about this if anything. She keeps having kids and what kind of future do they have???

I have been married to my husand for 10 yrs. since she was 13. She has had lots of issues in the past. Been in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. Just a little more info.

Thanks all.

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I think getting child welfare services involved for the sake of these children might be a good first step. They can also help guide your step daughter with the bipolar issue. Promiscuity and suicide attempts as you probably know are behaviors some biopolar individuals engage in. They cannot help it. What about medication? Does she have a therapist? I would assume after a suicide attempt she was closely watched and counseled.

    Bookmark   December 7, 2008 at 1:44PM
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First, I have to say I like your screen name. lol

I agree with Cindy, child services is probably the only option. In CA, anyone can file for custody so if you the laws in your state allow that, if you feel they are better off in your custody, then that is another option. (and I don't know the laws in other states, but in CA there is no grandparent rights to visitation, but anyone... including non related people, may file for custody) You might check the laws where you live or talk to a family law attorney.

    Bookmark   December 7, 2008 at 1:54PM
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No she has no therapist....My husband seems to think that it has been so long since her suicide attempts, that she will not do it again????? When I say something about trying to get the kids. He ask me how I would feel if someone tried to take my kids? This is killing me I have raised the oldest child as if she was my own, and my husband makes me feel like I have no say at all.

Thanks for all your help.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2008 at 10:27AM
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You just need to tell him,that this isnt about HER feelings,this is about the well being of her children.They cant do what is best for themselves.
Seems like your husband kinda enables his daughter.Bi-polar is hard to deal with,and he SHOULD be supportive,but he also needs to care about his grandchildren and their quality of life...which doesnt sound too great.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2008 at 4:21PM
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Yes I think my husband is very much of an enabler, or out of site out of mind. Which I dont like at all. I think your kids are always your kids no matter how old they are. I know that there is only so much you can do, but when you have a child with issues like bipolar, you have to continue to be there for that child. I have worked on him very hard and told him he needs to try and help her get help. That no matter what her age is you can't turn your back on her or just say she is grown there is nothing I can do. I love her very much and want what is best for her and her children, but the last 6 yrs or so have been very very ruff and sometimes I just want to walk away from it all.

Thanks again everyone for letting me get this off my chest. I just hope things can get better for her soon and aslo the children.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2008 at 10:52PM
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is she on meds? she better be. and she needs therapist. and maybe someone can suggest something about sterilization? would she consider that? enough kids already!

    Bookmark   December 9, 2008 at 7:47AM
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No she is not on meds... Was at one time and she went off of them. Right now she is doing nothing. Oh yes everyone has suggest her tie her tubes, we have even said we are gonna do it for her. I am not so sure she would consider it??? To many kids if you can't take care of them.

    Bookmark   December 9, 2008 at 9:35AM
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unfortunately, you can't force someone to sterilize. There was a Judge that was censured because he gave a woman the option to sterilize or go to prison because she continued to have drug addicted babies. I think she had seven or eight of them and all were in foster care. The Judge got in trouble for that ruling, so it's next to impossible to make someone do that.

Even if child services or family services can't remove the kids, they might monitor her situation and offer other services to her... parenting classes, counseling, birth control, etc. and they could require her to be on medication too. The children are all small and someone has to give them a voice. If their grandfather sticks his head in the sand or looks the other way, he is turning his back on his own grandkids. Is he in denial that he raised a child that is doing what she's doing???

    Bookmark   December 9, 2008 at 9:54AM
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