I have raised my stepdaughter since the age of 3 years old. I was married to her father and he decided to get custody of her. He was 40 and the mother was 17 or 18 when she got pregnant. I have three biological children. It has always been a battle of mine against his with him. How do I deal with this? She calls me Mom but yet I can't tell her what to do because he feels that I am picking with her. I try to teach or how to be a young lady and grow up knowing how to be a respectable woman. I told him that he needs to get control of her mouth and they way she talks to adults. I blame him for allowing her to play the role of the woman when we split up. She feels that she can debate with me on everything that I say. The teacher called and told him that she was being smart mouth and debating everything she said in class and now he wants to address it but coming from me meant nothing yet I am the one raising and caring for the child.
Now my son is living with us and he is isolating himself from helping me to raise my son I call him our son but he makes sure that I know that is my son and that is his daughter yet I have taken care of her and provided for her for the past four years yet I can't discipline her or tell her what and what not to do. Now that our son or MY son is here he won't help me with him. How do I end this war with my ex and move forward. I feel as if I am being used and taken for granted. Whenever he need me I am there. I helped him to raise his child why is it so different now. I have tried to discipline her and he tells me that I am picking on her yet she adores me. I left for two months and he begged me back and told me that nobody can do what I do in the home. Now that I am back and my son is here with me its a problem now. I feel unappreciated and used. What am I holding on to hoping that he will accept my kids. We all say things in the heat of the moment but my actions have been love and care toward both of them why can't I get the same in return. Is that a real man?