Myfampg can I pick your brain?
I hope you don't mind, I'm just curious because I can't see my SD12 ever really getting it. And it worries me. Not that I want personal recognition (well that would be nice but that's not the point here :-) or justice, I just worry that SD12 will end up with lots of problems herself because she's so enmeshed with BM. She's the example of a parentified kid.
I know that that might not apply to you Myfampg, but my question is not re. parentification, I'm just wondering how old you were when you started to catch on with what was going on. I'm assuming that if you had an overprotective mum, she demanded your loyalty and you would have had to choose her in certain situations, to prove it? I grew up in an intact family, I can't imagine what it's like and I'm just not able to picture how that works in a childs' mind. Did you believe that your mum was more important than your dad, or even that only your mum was important? I don't even really know how to word my questions, can you notice? Anyway, I worry for my skids, I try and show empathy and be kind and caring when they are with us. I leave all the parenting stuff up to FDH, I show an interest in them and their friends, and what they do. But it eats away at me to see BM wear them down.
After last time when SD14 decided to stay with us because she coudn't handle it anymore (all the fighting and drinking and chaos) we haven't seen them again.
They both cancelled last time they were supposed to come and yesterday FDH received the dreaded SMS again that they 'have a lot going on' and are not coming till Saturday. I'm sure they'll go back again on Sunday, if they even come. It's from one extreme to the next. Christmas time I guess, BM increases the pressure yet again. Sorry to trail off, this has nothing to do with my question to you, I'll sign off now before I write a book :-(