School drama - how to deal
Let's just get the first important part out of the way... Yes I am a bit jealous of BD and SM's 'material' life-style bc I am insecure about my own finances. Sometimes I think they play on those insecurities but it's my fault for allowing it. There I admitted it and now I can move on since I know the true answer to my problems but feel the need to vent.
When ExDH and I were married, he worked, I stayed home. We had nice cars, lived in a brand new house that we had custom built, but we were in extreme debt and continued to live above our means. Which in the end was our breaking point. ExDH paid a LOT of child support in the beginning but he kept our home and I got basically nothing. I really didn't want anything except DD. He just wanted the house and dogs which in the end, I ended up with one dog and he got rid of the other. Anyway... I had to find a job. Got a great job right away, been there 5 yrs, I make OK money but not rich or anything - meet new DH and he makes ok money. We are in the higher tier of the middle class. ExDH took a lower paying job that dropped DDs child support by $400 a month. I moved in with my parents after the cs went down and they live in a good area but it's old and the schools are not great. So DH and I decided to move to a nicer area with top rated public schools. Problem is, I have NO credit since ExDH bought everything in his name and so I am starting to build it up. Got a car in my name - last year at 29, got my very first credit card and so it's getting started but not enough credit to buy a house. So we are renting a very expensive (thank you very much) condo, 4 bedroom, front yard, back yard condo ... In a very 'prime' are of our county. DD is going to one of the best school districts in the state and is getting an excellent education. She goes to school with doctor's kids, lawyers, very affluent families. At first I felt very weird and self conscious because people would ask what neighborhood we were in and I would feel awful to tell them but swallowed my pride and held my head up, afterall we are just starting out as a 'new' family. With the market the way it is and the banks being jerks, it doesn't matter that DH has excellent credit, we don't have 20% so we can't get a loan... So we are saving and hope to buy a house next summer or the following year. Before DD goes to jr high. DH is driving an older truck because.... It's paid off!! And we both agree a house is more important and he honestly does not give a crap he loves his truck. (men are so different than women).
Ok so my point ... Most of you know that my relationship with BD and SM is awful. We don't even speak at all. They hate me and if I wasn't a woman of God I would use the same word to describe my feelings for them but I won't. They look down on us as trash bc we rent and they own and drive fancy cars. The way I look at it is for the last 5 yrs I have had a retained attorney to fight their crap totalling right at $25k and still growing... While they have not ever had an attorney until about 6 months ago. So there.. That is where my money goes. Not that it's any of their business ...
So I find out a few weeks ago thru DD that she goes to school with SMs beat friends's daughter. They are in the same grade. We don't live in the same area or school district so it never crossed my mind that they might know someone that we would know from school. My first thought was oh great SM has an 'in' to everything school related especially since they are in the same grade. Then I thought oh I bet she has told her friend what an awful person I am and then this friend would tell all her school friends. So I have been feelings self conscious at school for a few weeks now wondering what does that person know. What does this person think. Then DH told me I was being ridiculous and to get over it. So I trie putting it out of my mind. Theb yesterday at the Christmas party I saw the mom that is friends with SM and as she walked past me in her designer jeans and her fancy hair style she laughs hysterically but to herself since she wasn't with anyone. Then my mom who was with me told me she thought a group of mom's were talking about me bc they were all turning around and looking at us. I look over and it's several mom's I know and SM's friend and they were looking and then they all started laughing. Then later I saw one of the mom's that is normally very friendly to me so I tried talking to her. She was very cold and just said hello and moved on.
I told DH I want to move to another country lol this is my territory. Ok not in that way like SM back off this is MY kid but this is where I spend a lot of time and volunteer and where DD goes to school why do I have to be bullied like a 7th grader? Made me want to cry!! I got nothing else just now.. Not only am I self conscious about how we don't live high and mighty but now people are talking about me bc of possibly something SM has shared and It's probably Not true. Whaaa!!