Her lack of parenting & selfish kids

pseudo_momDecember 13, 2011

Long story short to get me to today events! ... hubby hurt his back last wed.. was in the ER all day on thursday came home thurs night the kids came friday spent friday and saturday under the stipulation they help him (only one who helped was SD I had to work and family party)... he was literally crawling from room to room he was hurt so badly ... pain meds did not help ... got him a walker so he wasn't crawling ... sunday morning back to ER she picked up the kids while we were gone ....

He was admitted into the hospital this time ...monday the kids usually come back home ... so he calls her and tells her you are getting the kids right ... she starts huffing and puffing on the phone she has stuff to do (mind you at this point he is heavily medicated) ... he says to me can you bring the boys to school in the morning ... I said sure in an unpleasant tone ... shouldn't have to but I will because he asked ... next thing I know the boys are coming to my home tonight because mom has to go out and she doesn't want the 3 of them fighting while she is not home ... really their father is in the hospital and they are going to be at his house with me well not really with me because I worked til midnight ... so they were home alone here too .... so my response to him and her and the boys was !!!!! so if your father drops dead what is going to do rent an apartment for you both to go to so she doesn't have to worry about the 3 of you arguing ...???? parent your friggin children ... so I came home and said these are the rules if you don't like them gtfo ... you will be in bed at a decent hour if you give me any grief tomorrow morning you will walk to school gave them a list of "chores" and said your dad is not here your mom dropped you off here so I will parent the way I see fit if you don't like the rules too bad do not come here unless your father is here ... but my mom made us is the response yes she did so she will not have a problem with the way I parent you because if she does ... she can keep you the next month for all I care ... follow my rules or stay with your mother!

and my other issue!!!!!! ...

The kids asking about whats wrong with daddy will he be ok what are we going to do for money ... SD22 how am I going to pay my bills if daddy can't work anymore .... SS16 how am I going to get my license pay for my school trip or get my suit for my concert. SS14 wants to know if I already finished my christmas shopping the only one who cared was SD13 actually concern ... guess all those times she said I hate you daddy wish you were dead are eating at her :) Told them all ... There is plenty of stuff to do around the house to earn extra money save your birthday money christmas monies .... you save your money or you could ask your mom (hahahaha).

sidenote: hubby will be out of work for 6+ months serious injury but we are ok I have been stashing away money for quite awhile now :) since last time he lost his job as soon as he got a job I started hoarding money. :) but I'll be dammed if I give any to selfish brats who do nothing but make messes and refuse to follow rules!

oh and the kicker to all this ... they are all worried about what they are going to do with out any money ... I had to work tonight so I tell the boys you are on your own for dinner ... gave them a list of 10 things they could easily make for dinner sandwiches frozen pizza raviolies spaghetti and meatballs soups grill cheese etc... and SS16 says you can't leave us money to order pizza???? AYFKM no I won't be spending $40 on food when you need $575 for a trip and a suit! BRAT!

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Oh dear, they just aren't getting it are they. Dad is hurt, what about, gee how is dad? Don't worry about this stuff just focus on dad.. ((hugs)) to you and your DH. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 3:20AM
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"so I came home and said these are the rules if you don't like them gtfo ... you will be in bed at a decent hour if you give me any grief tomorrow morning you will walk to school gave them a list of "chores" and said your dad is not here your mom dropped you off here so I will parent the way I see fit if you don't like the rules too bad do not come here unless your father is here"

Good for you girl! You tell them!

I am so glad you are not taking any guff from these boys - I bet they will learn some valuable lessons from your no nonsense approach. Some people get so spoiled and don't appreciate how good they have it. There is plenty for the boys to eat but they want to order pizza. I bet after a few days they'll realize you're not taking their crap and will magically learn how to fix food for themselves.

Pseudo - it really sounds like you got it together, I'm sorry your hubby is hurt, but you were smart enough to put aside money to save for such an emergency situation. And I think you are handling the step kids just great. I hope your husband gets better soon.

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 8:48AM
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Pseudo I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's injury, I hope he'll make a speedy recovery, back injuries are awful :-(
And good for you for stashing some money away, not many people manage to do that!

I didn't know you have an SD who's already 22. Does she still come to stay with you guys as well? And do I understand correctly that your DH pays her bills? Why is that?

To be honest I don't understand why you agreed to have the boys over that night when DH was in hospital and you were working. You say yourself that it's not ok for BM to use you as a dumping ground, and then you accomodate her anyway. Why don't you just say no?

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 8:37PM
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Psuedo so sorry about your husband's injury. Will he be in the hospital longer? Surgery? I assume therapy of some sort? I wish him a speedy full recovery.

I love the way you handled the kids. I honestly cannot believe that their mom would ship them to your house, knowing you wouldn't be home - selfish B! And how stressful for you. I think putting the rules down right away was perfect and set the stage for what is to be expected and what will not be tolerated. Is it me or are teenagers just getting more and more selfish as I get older? This is the same type of response my niece would have. 'well what about ME?' how in the world do I prevent my kid from becoming this way!? I too want to know, daddy is paying sd22's bills??!

Sorry to hijack -- YaBbEr!! Good to see you. Where have you been? How are things??

    Bookmark   December 13, 2011 at 11:43PM
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Thanks for the well wishes ... I am in a state of shock I guess and reality hasn't hit me yet ... still no diagnosis or plan for recovery ... it will not be an easy journey.

I assumed when she was asking for me to give them ride in the morning she was going to drop them off early in the morning ... but by the end of his conversation with her he agreed to let them come to the house ... mind you he has been heavily medicated ....

SD22 lives with the BF but she comes here weekly for money for this bill, that bill, gas money, have daddy fix her car change her oil .... etc.... she does not have the same mother (as the other 3)... her mom has been MIA since she was 4. I recently found most of this out ... because she was demanding something and pushed him to his breaking point so he let it all out what hes been doing the last year since she moved out ... giving her extra money for her car insurance ... told him he is to write down how much he gives her and next christmas you will get an invoice ....

I also told him this was a one shot deal .... they are not coming here with out you being here again there is no point they are not "visiting" with me unless I want them(boys only) here. Hopefully he is home by christmas if not we will have dinner and open presents at the hospital. I do not want SD here without dad around, the boys are different I was not pleased they were here but they did everything they were told with out complaining ... I think they knew I would have blown a gasket.

Her excuse was more of my issue afraid they will fight .... teach your children not to fight give them real consequences if they do ... don't bit$% at them just start taking $hit away.... take everything away let them earn it not reward bad behavior. Parent them instead of trying to be their buddy.

yes yabber good to see you ... how are the girls?

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 12:17AM
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