Ok, this is OT but I'm hoping to get some sound opinions/advice....
My DD21 has a BFF20 that just found out she is pregnant. She is scared, thinking of aborting. She lives with her BF & he was supportive of terminating at first but is now leaning toward wanting her to have it. His mom was also supportive of whatever they decided to do but she also is changing her opinion to thinking they should not terminate. Her BM is supportive of whatever her daughter decides to do, I guess she hasn't said anything opposing an abortion so my DD doesn't know for sure how her mom feels. She is also concerned about how to financially handle a baby as well as the impact it would have in her life. She is in school to be a veterinarian's assistant & wants to finish college & be more established before having kids.
My DD went with her yesterday to consult with the abortion clinic where she was shown a "procedural" video, explaining what happens & what to expect... physically. I don't know if anyone has talked to her or counseled her on what to expect EMOTIONALLY. Personally, I oppose abortion but understand why it exists. I am currently raising two children that have mothers that should never have had children. I also spent over 7 years raising three children whose mother should not have had children... she saw them maybe 10 times in those seven years. So, I see the devastation to the children when they are abandoned by a mother that didn't really want them... at least not enough to stick around to raise them. But, I also can't imagine life without my DGS2... he's an amazing kid & it pains me that DIL aborted his little brother or sister when she moved back two years ago.
Anyway, my daughter is torn and wants to be supportive of her friend but also doesn't believe in abortion... she is really upset over it. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to her friend? She scheduled the abortion for the end of next week so she has a week to think about it. I know no matter what she decides, it's going to change her life forever... well, it already has. I know that after DIL aborted, she began to drink more which led to the DUI accident that was the final straw in me getting legal guardianship of DGS. I know my cousin aborted 20+ years ago & still dreams (has nightmares) of the child she never met. I am somewhat concerned over how it will affect her emotionally if she has the abortion... will she be able to concentrate enough to finish school, will she self medicate with drugs/alcohol if she feels bad/guilty, etc. I don't know if my thoughts are overreacting because I've never been in that position. I chose to have my children, one conceived involuntarily at 17... I have always felt strongly against abortion since adolescence. I don't know if I could give her any useful advice without coming across that I am totally against it & trying to talk her out of it. I do believe it needs to be her decision because she has to live with it & guilting someone into giving birth to an unwanted child that may suffer isn't what I'd want either.