OT- Brag- I did something right ...

myfampgDecember 14, 2011

So.. For the last 10plus years I have been telling my daughter how beautiful she is. My parents really never said to me that I was pretty or cute except when I was dressed up. As if to say, 'wow you clean up good' lol it wasn't because they are bad parents, I guess they just never realized that a girl needs to hear it often to believe it. I never wanted my daughter to 'wonder' if I thought she was pretty and i have shared here how my Dd has low self esteem. I really do think my daughter is very pretty. She has all the features I loved in other girls. Crystal blue eyes and white as snow skin and blonde hair. I have brown eyes, brown hair and freckled skin and not anything about that as a kid was 'cute' nor pretty and I had pretty fugly teeth for a while. Dd has nice straight teeth. She got lucky with two ugly parents lol I'm just kidding

Anyway - for her whole life I have called her pretty girl. And I always say, you're so pretty when I'm brushing her hair. I always tell her she looks cute before school and compliment her outfit or shoes or whatever. I say 'do you know what a pretty girl you are?' she shrugs and blushes. Or says 'no' and lists the reasons why she doesnt agree. Well today... I said 'do you know how pretty you are?' and she said 'yep cause you tell me all the time' YAY!! I'm excited about this because too often I hear her say what she wishes she had that someone else has. Like curly hair or brown eyes or a flat belly (this drives me insane) she is not FAT she has a pudgy mid section at the moment but I think it's just her hormones and her developements. She is not over weight she is just kind of awkward and she makes comments like 'I'm trying to suck in so my gut doesnt hang out' wtf!? I tell her she should stand up straight and hold her shoulders back and her belly will naturally pull in.. No sucking in her gut involved... Today it was music to my ears to hear her agree with me because I don't like to hear about girls that are so self conscious about their looks. It's too common these days. The pressure they feel to be perfect.. And the frustration because they aren't going to be perfect ...

I must be doing something right because she finally got the message. Only took 10 years! Lol just wanted to share.

As an update. Dd is doing better than last time I posted. She is seeing her therapist and is getting some good advice on handling sm. This month, she isn't going over there until after Christmas so she is getting lots of time with our family and enjoying all the activities we have been doing. No attitude, no crying, no whining, in fact, no fighting with little brother either. He has become very clingy to Dd where he cries for her a lot and that makes her feel very special. I told her to enjoy it while it lasts. When he is 7 he will be driving her insane and he won't want to cuddle and play with her. My Dh has also been spending some one on one time with both kids and suprisingly that has really helped all of us. I'm getting some things done and she is getting the 'male' attention she so craves. ;)

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Amber3902

That's great news, Myfampg.
And I'm sure mama is beautiful as well. :)
That's great you are trying to instill a sense of confidence in your daughter. I'm mixed black and white, and my daughters' father is black. Both of my girls have tan skin and curly black hair, but sometimes my D6 tells me what she wishes she was white and wishes she had "white hair". I think because she goes to a school where a lot of the kids are white so that's what she sees. I have to tell her how beautiful her tan skin is and how beautiful her long, curly, black hair is. Lately she hasn't said anything about it, but your post reminds me I need to remind my girls how beautiful they are.

Glad to hear she doing better with handling SM. It's great that DS feels so close to DD. Like you say, enjoy it while it lasts, after a while she'll probably be locking him out her room, LOL! And I like idea of each of the kids having one on one time with DH, kills two birds with one stone. :)

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 11:17AM
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myfampg

Amber - we are pasty white and we all wish for tan skin and curly hair. Isnt it funny how we always wish for what we don't have! Lol

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 1:26PM
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Amber3902

LOL Myfampg you're right - the grass is always greener. I have straight black hair and my mom would spend HOURS curling my hair with a hot curler to get it the way my girls' hair looks naturally!

    Bookmark   December 14, 2011 at 1:53PM
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