Another weekend....another excuse/issue

mom2emallNovember 14, 2008

Bm was supposed to take the kids last weekend. No call no show. She mentioned a while back about taking the kids this weekend for a party she was having. All week no call. Tonight she calls and SD14 talks to her. Tells BM she did not think she was coming and she made plans already and does not want to go to her house this weekend. SD 12 then talks to BM and tells her about a sleepover party she was invited to tomorrow night and she really wants to go. Then SS6 talks to bm and tells her that he does not want to go without his sisters. She must have tried to talk him into going and he began hysterically crying that he was not going. BM hung up with him and never called back to talk to me or dh.

So I am assuming that she is not coming this weekend.

And older sd asked bm what happened to her last weekend and bm told her that she had to go out of town for work and did not have access to a phone. SD ranted to me about how her mom works at a store in a mall and her excuse is a bunch of bs! I silently agreed. A cashier in a store does not get sent out of town for a weekend. And in this day in age not having access to a phone is near impossible.

So I am sitting here partially feeling bad for bm because her kids are losing interest in seeing her. But then I am left to feel like bm is finally getting what she deserves. She was so selfish and spent so much time away from these kids and now they are giving her the cold shoulder for once.

Am I a bad person for grinning inside that the kids are slowly seeing their bm for the selfish person she is instead of putting her on a pedestal??

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pseudo_mom

No you're not a bad person but.... at some point you are going to have to be the bad guy and "make" the kids go with her .... because she's going to say they make plans every weekend so I cannot see my kids even though this is what they have been doing with out her for the past ## years .... if it ever gets to court she will say she tried and you wouldn't let her ....

Have hubby offer EOW if she doesn't show or call by 6PM Friday the children are free to make their own plans that do not include BM.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2008 at 11:42PM
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mom2emall

Well if she would have actually shown up we would have done our best to convince ss to go with her. She would have to discuss the girls plans with them and figure that out. She lives close enough you would think she could take them for the weekend and allow them to go on with their plans too!

But she only talked to the kids and never even discussed plans with dh or me. So this is what happened.

But I am sure the kids will be seeing her for Thanksgiving and over Christmas as well. She will want the kids on holidays so she can make calls to her family and play "good mom". And I am sure that she would be embarassed in front of bf's family if she did not have the kids for a bit on holidays.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2008 at 11:49PM
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pseudo_mom

I wouldn't count on anything until she is at the door .... even then she might just have a cup of coffee with ya and leave the kids as she goes on her merry way.

    Bookmark   November 14, 2008 at 11:56PM
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imamommy

It must be so frustrating... for you/hubby & the kids. When they are little, they will believe the BS lies.... but as they get older, do these women think their children are not going to wise up?

    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 12:31AM
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believer

She is laying down the foundation for her relationship in the future with all of the kids. Any one would get fed up with being treated that way and to have it come from their mother is inexcusable.

I don't believe in putting any one on a pedestal, especially if you have to lie to do it. How could you possibly put this woman on a pedestal? To see that the kids are finally getting tired of it is a welcomed sight. I would be glad that they were at that point. Seeing them put false hope into their visits that never come to be is sad to watch. Maybe she'll stop calling if she can't get them to agree to go with her soon. Hopefully the next time she calls they will have plans also. Those poor kids.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 3:36AM
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organic_maria

You are not a bad person. She is getting waht any person gets when they behave in such a manner.
Its just sad for the kids.
My husband went to pick up his kids last night and bioomom wasnt' home with them. Don't know where they went but he drove for almost 2 hours and when he got there, it was a no show.
So he turned about and drove home. So now he's going to look like the bad person for not picking up his son. His daughter has all these activities from school to friends planned and is a no show for the next 2 1/2 months. Biomom calls at our house, leaves a message andyou can just hear it in her voice!!! 'oh ____ are you comign to pick up son...?" I was so disgusted. The games she plays and then she cries victim. And the kids do not know who is tellign the truth. But mommy is right, we live with her most of the time....daddy must be lying...oh he's the bad one...SIGH....i'm just tired of the bs
And my heart goes out to you because you deal with more. I do not get the deal withthis 24/7 and your kids must be so tired by now with bs games like this now that they are old enough to realize.
I agree with others onthis post, i wouldn't count on her unless she shows up at the door.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 7:17AM
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finedreams

i don't even know what to say. awful awful person, a liar. kids are too old for her to be lying, they know that cashiers don't get send who knows where. the only area that is very difficult to get the phone connection is UP (Western part of it), no cell phone connections but still you can always use hotel phone, presuming she was staying at a hotel. She is lying. sad. sad for the kids.

    Bookmark   November 15, 2008 at 1:37PM
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