New Here! Long, sorry! :(
Hello all :)
I've been reading through this forum and it seems like a wealth of good advice, so I feel like I should share my situation, get some feedback, etc.
Well, I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 21. I'm at school in Georgia, where my family lives, and he's in Tennessee, where his school and family are. We have been friends for 6 years, together for one, and honestly, I know I'm young, but he's the one. He recently gave me a promise ring, and he wasn't even ready to take this step with his baby mama.
He has a daughter, soon to be two years old, with his ex-girlfriend. I have only met her a handful of times because he took a parenting class that taught him to wait until we had been together AT LEAST 6 months to even bring me around the baby - Megan is her name. All the times I have met her, it has been me and him, and sometimes his mom. We don't hug or kiss or anything, and honestly, she seems to really enjoy her time with me. And when I'm at school and her father calls me, she loves to chat with me on the phone and practice saying my name. I have heard from my boyfriend and his mother that Megan doesn't exactly seem very attached or bonded to her mother - that when her mother and her aunt used to come pick her up, she would go running straight to the aunt, same thing with her maternal grandmother.
The baby's mother and father have had a very rocky relationship, and I have been dragged into it. There have been instances where the mother has confronted me and screamed terrible things at me. She is extremely manipulative and has targeted me on AIM and Facebook and MySpace and etc before. Now, she is blocked and we are not friends, but I am constantly fearful. I hold a lot of anger against this woman because she is one of the reasons my teen years were so screwed up because of her manipulation of me. And she is also the reason my boyfriend has gone through a lot of what he has - she pushed all of his friends away, and just hacked away at his life until she was the only one left standing.
In August, my boyfriend and I went on a trip to NYC. Right before the trip, he found out that the babys mother had gotten a new tattoo, which made him very angry because he had lent her $400 that she still hadn't paid back, yet got an elaborate tattoo. He sent some mean text messages, which he knows I didn't approve of, and he regretted them the next day. We went to NYC and had a great time. On our return, BM had taken out a restraining order preventing him from seeing/talking to her or Megan. It took him 2 months to get Megan off the order and be able to see her. The BM and my boyfriend have no contact for now, but we are going back to court on December 2nd to talk about the restraining order.
Recently the BM got engaged to a man in the Navy and we fear she will try to take the baby away with her to Charleston. They have 50-50 custody, but this woman has been in psychiatric hospitals three times, has had several suicide attempts, and is currently medicated for bipolar disorder, and shes not very compliant with her meds.
If anyone could give me some advice on a) how to start bonding with Megan and forming a true relationship with her, b) stay close with Megan through a long distance relationship, and c) just find a way to put all of my anger and anxiety about the BM to the side, I'd be SO appreciative.