are you?

jupiterjNovember 11, 2009

Just wondering how you were doing and what was new. Though I'm not a frequent poster I am an avid reader of the step forum and always admired, enjoyed and respected your posts...

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Hi jupiterj .... I kinda remember your situation ... hope things are better with the boys...lying and such to please mom? if I remember right.

... I was going to post a little update a few days ago ... things have been going very well the more I ignored SD10 the better she behaved. We are getting along fine. She flipped out on me 3 weeks ago because hubby ran to the cellar ( was down there about a half hour) and she said "my counselor said I am not to be alone with you" after she called her mom and said more mean and hateful things about me to her mom.... so hubby and I sat her downand explained why her counselor said that .... because I requested it because of all the lies her mother and her told about me that I didn't trust myself to be with you alone for fear that she and her mom would make up more lies and to protect myself I choose not to be alone with her.

She still didn't get it until she said to hubby you never do anything with me anymore and he said I wasn't the one who took you places and did stuff with you you and I just hung out and watched movies pseudo is the one who took you everywhere remember and he reminded her of all the things I did with her and when she turned on me all of those fun things stopped with good reason and they will not happen again for a very long time ... a week later she asked if we could be friends again and was told ..... for the last 2 years you have been very mean and hateful to me and it's going to take a long time to repair that relationship she said why do you hate me so much I said I do not hate I do not love you I feel nothing for you at this point there is nothing. I have treated you like the neighbor kid who comes over for a sleep over I feed you make sure you go to bed ontime but your bad behavior has nothing to do with me. It not my fault or problem to fix its on your parents to raise you right.

I tried and tried gave it my all and it hurt me deeply when I loved you how badly you treated and then I woke up one day not to long ago and said I cannot care about her anymore she cannot hurt me with her words or actions nothing you do will effect me, and I left it at that.

The next day she was fine wasn't cocky didn't call me any names yell at me how much she hated me has been fine for last 2 weeks hasn't even given her father any grief. I know its only 2 weeks but its a start..... 3 months ago I couldn't find anything I liked about her today I can say she is pleasant to be around. Again its a start!!!!

Now I am back to a horrible place.... as some of may recall we have been dealing with DCF for a very long time in Aug of 2008 we asked for help and for them not to close the case.... today I was terminated from my job because of that 51A that was filed on me.... I requested fair hearing from the state over a year ago to no avail ....I have been on the phone most of the day trying to get this straightened out I am not a patient person I want things done last week .... I did hear from the head of the fair hearings dept. about an hour ago and he was going expedite(sp) my hearing status but it is still a long process.

I am no longer employable in a field I have worked in for 13 years ....

So personally my life is good, (until all he11 breaks loose again) professionally my life is done. I will now have to fill out applications at fast food joints because in the state of MA just about every job requires a cori and dcf check.

Hijacking my own post:

IMA sorry you are going through all that but the little guy is better off with you and I kind of had a feeling a year ago when you were telling us about your DIL and DS that this was going to happen at some point in your GS's life :(.

Sweeby .... I do not even know how to say anything that would even feel comforting for what you are going through, very difficult situation.

lamom... did you know she was divorcing before you and her had that talk?

    Bookmark   November 12, 2009 at 1:51PM
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Pseudo, I'm so sorry to hear about your job. I can't imagine how that must feel. I hope they resolve it quickly so you can go back.

    Bookmark   November 13, 2009 at 11:37AM
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Pseudo, Also, I am so sorry about your job..How unfair..Hope you can find something that suits you quickly...I remember your Whippin Day post, sounds like someone would be lucky to get you with your obvious managerial skills, Good luck....

    Bookmark   November 13, 2009 at 3:34PM
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