problems with my stepdaughter
I really need a good advice. I have a stepdaughter, who is 11 years old. My husband and me are married for almost 6 years. We do not have children. ItÂs not that we are not trying, it just hasnÂt happened yet. I have difficulties with getting pregnant. His ex-wife and us used to live in different states. My stepdaughter used to travel to be with us all the time. She would spend most of the summer with us, as well as all school vacations and some weekends. I love her with all my heart. Her mother is a nice woman and we do have civil relationship with her.
Few month ago we moved to the same location to live closer to my stepdaughter. Now she spends a lot of time with us. I think, we have a lot of problems now! Sometimes, I feel so angry and desperate! She is very intelligent girl, very humorous and she is so much fun to be with! There are so many good things about her! But I am very worried about some of her qualities.
She is a true daughter of divorced parents. She honestly believes that she can get absolutely anything out of them. And she usually does. It is not a secret she is extremely spoiled. But this is not what I am worried about the most. She is very self-centered and she doesnÂt care about others, whatsoever! I understand that most kids are this way, but, in my opinion, these issues should be addressed. I want her to be a good, kind person, help others. Being smart is not going to get her anywhere if she doesnÂt have good heart! She is also SO lazy! She spends in a bed an entire weekend, chatting with her friends on-line. Her mother is like this too. Her house is absolutely filthiest place I have ever seen. Her mother doesnÂt teach her anything! They hardly ever have any food at the house. IÂve seen her refrigerator completely empty couple times. How is it possible when you have a kid at the house?
I really want to change this. My husband is 100% supportive. But he will not say anything when he should. He really let everything go. So, it is only I trying to address all the issues. So far, I had no success. Well, finally I can get her to take a shower every other day, but this is it pretty much. Oh, and at the other day my SD asked me to get her boots, even though they were literally 5 feet away. She said she was too busy talking to her friends on-line and her mother was waiting outside to pick her up. I felt like I was a maid.
I really, really love her and care about her, but I am so angry with her sometimes. I can feel that she is angry with me too. I donÂt know how to handle this anymore.