Need some help!
My stepson (age 24) moved in with us in May '12. He lived in Bermuda with his BM and comes from a privileged background. His father and I have twin girls (17). He spent most of his summers with his father up until he was around 15 years old. He grew up with no parental supervision. He barely made it through H.S. and attended college in Canada for one year and flunked out. His yearly visits to our home resumed when he was 20 and I was comfortable with the man he was becoming. I spent hours talking with him on Skype (before moving here) and we spent a lot of time discussing the importance of education. He wanted to return to school, so we made him an offer. Come here, pay $200/mo. for everything and go to college. Two months after arriving, he made some friends. One night they partied here until 5am! I woke to strangers passed out in my house. Found out later that he had a threesome (him, guy & girl) and one of my girls almost walked in on them in the ACT. Mortified, I reprimanded him and he got very angry. That was the beginning of the end. He's had two different jobs, smokes pot, had a drug dealer over here, has manipulated his father and both of my girls in convincing them that I am the problem. He's blown through $4200 of student loan refund money. He bought a car ($1500) and is driving it right now (as I write this) with no insurance, no legal plate, not registered and he never got a U.S. Driver's License. I've warned him and his father that if pulled over, he will go to jail and we do not have the money to bail him out. He said that he doesn't like to think negatively like that and I worry too much. He has told me to shut my f*cking mouth, he has screamed at me and called me names. I reached out to his mother early in the game and she said that he is a very troubled young man. She blames his father for not taking a more proactive role in his child raising and her son has a lot of animosity towards his father for not being around. He has decided not to continue with his education and willbe leaving in one month. (YAY!!!!!!). However, he told his father that he is leaving because I make it too uncomfortable for him here. He listed that as his first reason, but wanted to also put out there that he misses his friends, misses the Island and doesn't like making only $8.00 and hates the Midwest. He's above the mentality of the people living here. The kids say it's my fault he's leaving (very likable and good looking young man with a carefree spirit and funny - a hippy type - the girls adore him)....his father told me that it's my fault - wanted a divorce then said, he doesn't blame me. For the past three days, this kid has avoided everyone in the house, stayed in his room or gone. I truly believe that since his father and I decided to work on our marriage rather than throw it all away, he became disappointed. Am I wrong in thinking that this was his motive? I truly feel that he would be happy if he broke up my marriage. Is there anyone else out there that has had or is having an older stepchild issue?