step daughter says I'm mean
Me and my partner have been together for 4 years now but living together for the past 3 years. He has 2 daughters a 16yr old and 10 yr old. Currently the oldest is living with us because her and her mother aren't getting along. Me and the oldest started off on a rocky patch, she didn't like me and because of that she would say hateful things to her dad. Now that she is living with us things are a bit better I wouldn't say she "loves" me but she tolerates me and is respectful toward me and most importantly her dad. Now the issue is his 10yr old daughter. I met her after a year of dating her dad and we hit it off great. I should mention that their mother hates me and is constantly bad mouthing me and my partner around the girls. The mother has claimed that I have tried to drown and poison the youngest one, which I would never do! Everything was going fine with me and the youngest until her older sister decide to come live with us. After this she has been distant with her dad and me. She avoids coming on weekends and when she does she asks to leave early because her mothers family is having parties that she wants to attend. The other morning my partner received a text from the 10 year old saying she didn't want to come over anymore because she doesn't feel comfortable and because he's mean to her. My partner called her and when he asked her when was he mean to her or why she felt uncomfortable in his house she said "it's not you it's your gf, she's mean to me all the time, especially when you aren't around! I didn't tell you before because I know you wouldn't believe me" The thing is I am hardly ever alone with her, yet alone mean towards her! I do make her do her hw with the tv off and don't let her cheat or give her answers, which she says her mom lets her do. (She did flunk the 3rd grade). I should mention that she doesn't like cleaning up after herself (toys, shoes, plates) or being told she's wrong, and she also rude towards her dad. These things do bother me and there are times that I get upset over it. I feel really sad/ bad that she doesn't want to come around because of me, what should I do? I don't want my partner not to see his daughter because of me. I feel like it's all my fault for wanting her to be respectful and a nice girl. I understand that she isn't my daughter and that's why I try not to do or say anything to her, I let her dad do it. But it seems like regardless of my attempts I still come out the evil stepmother.