potential step son's bad behavior is ruining our relationship

lauren102November 29, 2009

I have been dating a single divorced dad for about 6 months now. He has primary custody of his son who is 5. I have no problem with the fact that he is divorced or that he has a child, but what bothers me is how he more or less doesnÂt parent his child. The little boy constantly throws fits if he doesnÂt get what he wants, and it is starting to put a strain on our relationship. We cannot do anything in public because his son will act up and throw tantrums. I was raised in a household where we knew better then to scream and cry because we werenÂt allowed candy at bedtime, and it blows my mind how the 5 year old runs his household. It has also now gotten to the point that every single night he lays with his son until he goes to bed. By the time he comes to bed with me, I am exhausted and completely disinterested in doing anything physical with him because I have been listening to his son cry about wanting to watch a movie, or have a snack, and his dad allowing him to do exactly what he wants. It is putting a huge strain between us because we do not see eye to eye about it. I havenÂt said much to him about how he parents because I feel like I really shouldnÂt get a say in it, but I have mentioned that he needs to start watching how he treats his son because it is only going to get worse, in terms of the tantrums, and the getting everything he wants. I guess the advice I am looking for is if there really is any safe way to talk to him about this, or if I really should just end this relationship now. With how things are right now, I donÂt know how much more I can really take.

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sylviatexas1

Even if you were a passerby on the street, I think it would be a kindness to let this dad know that he's not doing his son any favors, & if you're looking toward a future with this guy, then yes, definitely, you *do* have a say in it, & the sooner the better.

I do think you're smart, & wise, to realize that you can't live like this.

I'd probably sit bf down & tell him that things have to change radically & immediately, & that they don't, I'll have no choice but to go on down the road rather than exhaust myself, ruin my own life, & witness a father ruining his son's character.

His response & the results will tell you your answer.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   November 29, 2009 at 5:53PM
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terinick

One of my favorite dating words was "NEXT."
Try it!

    Bookmark   November 29, 2009 at 8:12PM
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lamom

lauren,

Agree with the others. Think of it this way, you stay with him, it gets really serious, you now live with this little boy. The problem is not the boy it's the dad and his parenting.

Next!

    Bookmark   December 4, 2009 at 1:05AM
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