Tone of voice!

sam1234November 24, 2008

My husband (not BF) helps discipline my 9 yr. old son. BUT, sometimes the tone of voice he uses just sends me over the edge. It's very high pitched and loud. (He tells me that there is NO SUCH thing as "tone of voice".) For example: He started yesterday with this "tone" telling my son, "When you get these toys out you need to put them back. My son responded in the same tone that hubby had, with "I WILL". Then all hell broke loose, hubby says: stop screaming at me, my son says: stop screaming at ME. I totally agree with what hubby was saying to son, but when he uses this tone, I get instantly ILL. Any suggestions??

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sweeby

When my son's reply with an inappropriate tone of voice or word choice (valid message - said rudely), I simply tell them "That didn't come out right. Please say it again in a nicer voice." -- and give them a meaningful enough look until they comply.

With your husband, he certainly heard the 'tone' when your son said it. I'd tell him privately that he sometimes uses that same tone and it's no pleasanter for you than it was for him.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 5:41PM
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dogdogcrazy

Maybe you could record him, without his knowing, and then play it back later, so that he can hear himself talking.

Somtimes it has to hit you in the face before you see it coming.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 6:45PM
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believer

If he still doesn't believe you after telling him what sweeby said....video tape him. Unless you think that is it too over the top.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 6:47PM
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pseudo_mom

Its not what you say it how you say it!!!

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 8:36PM
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sam1234

thank you guys so much, it just totally blew me out of the water when he said there's no such thing. How could he say that? you can even say to a dog, "i love you" in two totally different tones and it re-act differently.

    Bookmark   November 24, 2008 at 8:43PM
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