As you all know, DS moved in with ex a few months ago. I have had a hard time adjusting to life with no kid to take care of but slowly I am learning to adjust with counseling and just learning to stay busy by doing things for myself. DS was mad for the first month after he left and wanted nothing to do with me. Finally, DS began an EOW visitation schedule with me. It was all going pretty well until I busted him smoking while on my weekend. I did not catch him in the act but leaned over to kiss his cheek when I walked in his room and I could smell the smoke on his face. I knew that the ex was letting DS hang out with a few boys that I would not allow him to hang out with but I did not figure since ex, SM and I were not getting along that they would appreciate me parenting from the sidelines so I let it go. SM has told me that their rules are different and they are more lax than I am. But now it has come back to bite them with DS. I debated about telling ex about DS smoking but figured that I would tell them and let them handle it just as they have done to me for years. DS was punished for smoking by ex and for not completing homework. DS grades are AWFUL but yet they continue to let him off easy. So in less than a week, other than undergoing a sniff test every time DS walked in the door, DS was back to hanging with his buddies and not doing his homework. I was amazed but let it go since DS has managed to somehow place all of the blame on me. I have become the one responsible for his troubles and DS is acting like what he did was nothing. So after me being ignored when I try to call or text him, I called the SM. I thought that even though we are not BFF that we had reached some sort of understanding when I told ex and SM that I discovered that DS was smoking and flunking classes at school. SM and ex talked to DS about returning my phone calls and/or text messages and sent him over to talk to me.