help me stop obsessing!
I have posted before about my adult step daughter. My husband told me yesterday that she wanted to know when he was coming to visit (4 hour drive each way) for the holiday and bringing gifts. He hadn't planned on making the trip again, since he was just there a month ago and we are driving to Florida to visit my mother for Christmas. I haven't seen her for something like 4 years. My husband had asked if he could join them for Thanksgiving, but his daughter planned to go visit the brother/sister-in-laws, so he couldn't see them then. The last time he was there for his grandson's birthday, she was disrespectful and snappish with him because he wanted to get a drink from a paper cup instead of a glass from the cupboard. (The girl is pretty controlling.) So yesterday she sent him an email and told him that his grandson needed a new bed (he's 4) because the other one only takes a double bed sized mattress and it's too big for his room. She wants one that's a single bed with drawers under it. Oh, and a mattress, too. I told my husb that I had no problem with him going to visit; he could do that whenever he wished, but my opinion on the bed was that it seemed "enable-y" to buy things that are necessities of life. It would seem more appropriate as the grandpa, that he get toys or something special for a gift. But, I said, "do what you feel comfortable with." At this point, I am really bugged about it. When the grandson was born we bought a crib that she picked out, which was about $500. We outfitted it with mattress, sheets, bumper--the whole deal. This was supposed to be converted into a youth bed when he was old enough, but now she says it isn't going to be what she wants. She also said that her mother could go in on it with him (I checked and it will likely be $650 or so for bed/mattress.) I am just so tired of feeling taken advantage of and yet I keep thinking that no one is really taking advantage of ME--it's just my husband, and if he is OK with it, I should just bow out. It just keeps bothering me, though. I'd like for these situations to stop nagging away at me. Any thoughts??