Older step kids struggling
My husband and I have been married almost a month but have been together for over 3 years. I have a 5 year old daughter and he has a 23 year old son and a 21 year old daughter. I share 50/50 custody of my daughter so we have her every other week. She gets along wonderfully with my husband. My ex and I communicate well. My husband and his ex do not communicate at all. To the point she told him she doesn't have to anymore. She plays the victim role really well. She constantly bad mouths me and my husband. Tells her kids that I am not there mother which I never tried to be only a friend. She tells them that my daughter is nothing to them. We know all of this from my husband's daughter who was kicked out by her mother (because she didn't like her boyfriend) and lived with us for 6 months. We constantly encouraged her to try to mend her relationship with her mother. When she was able to, she dropped us like hot cakes. The last time we saw her was at a family reunion where she acted like nothing was wrong. She refuses to communicate with her father and it breaks his hear. My husband's son sees us on a regular basis but informed us that we will not be seeing him for Thanksgiving at all. The plans with his mother were made first and "that is just the way it is". We tried to get him to just come for desert. It really bothers my husband. In fact neither of them made any attempt to come to our wedding. We didn't think his daughter would but his son said he would try. Their cousin was getting married the same day and they received her invite before ours. The sad parts are that my husband continues to reach out for them and invite them to things and they ignore him. He won't give up and I won't let him. Our hope is that they will come around eventually when they are no longer living with their mother and under her control. The other sad things is that my daughter bonded with his daughter. She misses her and is too young to understand why we don't see her. Will this ever change?