SS9's attitude after visiting with BM
As many of you know, my DH and I have full custody of my 3 skids and they visit with BM EOW. BM was out of their lives for 2 1/2 years (in hiding more or less) and has been getting them EOW for about 2 years now. I (as the stepmom) do all of the necessary traveling to assist BM in seeing her kids since she claims to not have enough money to take on the full travel burden. She lives almost 4 hours away and EOW I drive a total of 8 (to sometimes 12) hours back and forth to meet her half way for visits.
But it never fails...when I drive 2 hours to pick the skids up on Sundays SS9 always has attitude with me and my DS's. Like yesterday...SS9 comes to the van from BM's van and I say "Guess what!? DS12 got saved this weekend!" He looks at DS12 and snottily says "Why?" I excitedly say, "Because he decided that he wants to devote his life to God and to Jesus!" SS9, again with attitude, says "Why would he do that?" DS12 says "Because I want to spend eternity in Heaven!" SS9 says "Well, I guess." Then he slams the van door and walks back over to BM. He doesn't say a single word on the 2 hour drive back. We get home and walk in the house and DH says "How was your visit?" SS9 says "I think I'm going to throw up...Get out of my way" and walks to his room.
I guess what is upsetting to me is that this is permitted and has been going on for 2 years now. It hurts my feelings but also my DS's feelings...who have only seen their bio Dad 2 times in 4 years. On occasion when SS9 has made comments about only getting to see BM for a few days a month, DS12 has said "You are lucky. I haven't seen my Dad for 3 years." This probably isn't very good reasoning with a 9 year old though...but I can't help but think that the snottiness shouldn't be tolerated.
I understand that it can be difficult for a child to only see their Mother EOW...but is it out of the question to call him on the snottiness?