BM Becoming More Sentimental
Just venting here, because I know there is nothing I can or should do about this. It seems to me that lately BM is becoming very sentimental about DH, herself and SDs. It is probably a "stage of life" thing, with youngest SD in college now. Her phone calls aren't as much about practical day-to-day issues now, as there aren't many with both girls out of town. She seems to call my DH more "just because." And just to chatter, because my DH is not very responsive, but he finds it hard to extricate himself from the calls.
We sometimes commute together, and this morning BM called while we were in the car. DH had the speakerphone on like he always does while driving. This time I consciously decided not to say anything, not to give away that I was in the car. The call lasted for several minutes, and my DH was trying to wrap it up once he realized there was really no reason for it. BM began to go down memory lane about the girls and then started talking about which characteristics each girl got from each parent. Finally DH said something to me, and BM said "Oh, is Ulrike1 with you? Oh hi Ulrike1," and signed off right after.
This whole thing is making DH pretty uncomfortable, and I don't know what to tell him to do. I don't want him to be unkind to BM, and I sure don't want to be the one myself to set any limits on her calls or whatever. But on an emotional level, we feel like BM is trying to set up a little squatters nest in our marriage.
Have any of you had an experience like this? Is there a way to discourage the bids for emotional connection while still preserving goodwill between the houses?
I wonder if she ever makes these calls while her DH is around?