my brother and SIl, what is this about?
not SF related but I think this forum is very helpful with advice. not like i need a particular advice but i am feeling hurt and need venting.
my brother has two children one is in college 19 and the little one is 7. I love my niece and nephew. i get along wiht my brother and SIL as well. so i could never figure out what is all this about?
my brother and SIl are impossible to make plans with. long story but it is ongoing trouble. I don't make plans wiht them ahead of time because it never ever goes through so i have learned the hard way.
example of what they do: last nigth they were an HOUR late for Thanksgiving dinner at my aunts. 15 people sat and waited for them. it is mainly due to the fact that my SIl is incapable for getting ready and it is always big problem for my brother because it could be embarassing.
for example they were late for my cousin's wedding and walked in interrupting the wedding ceremony, my SIL had her hair still wet etc. My SIL has some issues, long story. if i will tell you the stories here it would take me an hour to type.
so anyways last night at thanksgiving dinner i came up to my SIL and asked if they have any plans a day after Thanksgiving because I and my 7-year-old niece wanted to spend time together for a long time. i got her some board games recently and we wanted to play them.
My SIl said: "we have no plans at all but it is better to ask her husband, my brother, because he might have plans."
I come up to my brother, he says "we will be home most fo the day and do not have any plans".
i go to my niece and discuss it wiht her. her responce: "oh how great! i want you to come over and play games wiht me".
I go back to my brother and tell him. he is: "oh how wonderful! come spend most of the day with us".
so we decided I will call at 10AM and we will make more specific plan because he could not decide what time is the best, sometimes they sleep late on the weekends.
I sat back at the table and hear my SIl whispering: "so what did you talk about to finedreams?" he says "she will come over to play with our DD."
then i hear SIl says:" didn't you make plans to go to the museum wiht our DD?" he is: "no, we made no plans. museum? what museum?" (mind you we live in the area where there is maybe one museum and even that one is not like fun to go to)
she is: "oh yes you did". he is: "oh when did we make this plan? I don't know about that". at this point I cannot hear them anymore, and they say nothing to me. since i overheard them and it is not like they told me anything so I said nothing. and I thought since he told me to come over he would stuck to it.
I call my brother as we decided. he says "sure let me go talk to them and call you back about specific time."
he calls me back: "oh you know we do have plans so you cannot come over." i ask "what plans?' he is "oh i am not sure but apparently there are some plans". I: "how about in the evening?" he "oh we do have plans. maybe tomorrow then."
what the....I am upset. it is not the first time i try to do somehting wiht my niece and something else comes up.
now it is not like i am a bad influence. it is not like i am in their face all the time. i rarely come over because they never have time. i have a good relationship with my brother. i am involved wiht both my niece and my nephew, i do not ignore them. I call regularly my nephew in college. but whenever i want to do anything wiht either one of them my SIL comes up with somehting.
SIL does it to my parents all the time, invites them over but then comes up with something and then cancels, but it hurts. How much you want to bet that they would come wiht somehting tomorrow?
I usually do not let myself to get upset over it but i am very upset this time.