Correct me if I am wrong.......
I have been married to my DH for almost 7yrs. I have 2 SS, ages 10 and 12, and one BS with my DH, age 6. To make it short, my SS's went 3 yrs manipulating all of us, DH's ex and their SF included, to get exactly what they wanted. They get everything they want at their mom's house, whether they deserve it because of their behavior or not. My DH and I are not financially well off, and we have spent the last 2 yrs putting out a lot of money every month to pick them up 4 hours away once a month when DH ex moved out of state. They have now moved back. We have them every other week. They have no sense of responsibility at all. They will not pick up their clothes, put up their dishes, turn in their homework, etc. They have thrown away dishes not paying attention, broken things, and the list goes on. I know at their ages, a little laziness is normal, but they do absolutely nothing. Each boy has ONE chore that is their responsibility, and the only one that does it is the 6 yr old. Do not get me wrong, my son is no angel, and I fully recognize this.
In the past, whenever we got something for our 6 yr old, we would get for all three, whether they were here or not. If the 6 yr old got something when they were not here and we did not get for them, they would have say that was not fair, they did not get one. Therefore, if we could not afford for all three, we simply did not get it. I am not doing this any more. If they are here, they will get just the same as the 6 yr old, but I will not put my son aside anymore in an effort to be fair to 2 boys who are not here right now, and probably already have whatever I am buying at their mom's anyway. My son has gone without his whole life because of my SS's, either because we could not afford for all three, or because of the money we were putting out on them on trips or court. I mean, picture telling a 6 yr old, no we can't because we don't have the money to take everyone, even though they are not here. And they come back talking about all the awesome things they did at their Mom's. From now on, if they are not here, I will buy my son whatever I want to.
So, tell me, have i wised up? Or am I just so tired of the manipulation that I am being unfair?